May 31, 2021

The Ideal Woman


The Wolf And The Shepherd discuss how their ideas of the ideal woman have changed over time, while bringing up little dogs, cooties, puberty, the ability to watch 3D movies using the VLC player, practice marriages, homeless dating services, the Wolf's infatuation with Martha Stewart, and the Shepherd's disdain for Olaf from Frozen.

Transcript

welcome to this episode of the wolf and

the shepherd today we're going to be

talking about the ideal woman and

there's a few names that are popping

into my head right now but i don't want

to make

any of them jealous you know because of

course my wife is the ideal woman right

and that

that's what you're supposed to say when

you're married right but her name didn't

pop into my head

when i said that is that bad no really

oh okay all right okay just just so long

as you're

you're gonna defend me on that when she

gets mad when she doesn't listen to this

podcast because she never listens so

yeah

but you know one of her friends are

probably going to say hey

i was listening to this and apparently

you're not the ideal woman for him

so i've already just this one's it's

already going downhill for me

already well i figured given we have

about

five female listeners in total com that

includes my girlfriend

a couple of people have done on the sh

who have been on the show

yeah and one other person who's kind of

a relative

so yeah well in and then we still have

the uh nice girl there at the uh

rehab place that my dad is back in oh

and that reminds me

hang tight you have a name i promised

her

that we would give her a shout out you

know we did before

yeah and but she was nameless yeah and i

think she's still nameless but she gave

me this little piece of paper here

and it's on a sticky note that i can't

even

peel off but her name is risa the artist

r-i-s-s-a

listed the artist that's her name it's

not a name is it

well maybe her name's risa r-i-s-s-a is

is this for instagram or what no she's

on etsy

so she has like art that she does

on etsy so you can find her at risa the

artist or risa the artist r-i-s-s-a

so hopefully you're listening and uh

hopefully you know some people will go

by the art

she did show me the art by the way on

her phone and everything it was kind of

cool

but i'm colorblind so i don't know if

it's really good i was going to say i'll

take a look at it

and if it was terrible we can just edit

this bit out and pretend we never

mentioned it that's a good point yeah

yeah we could do that

right i was thinking about the ideal

woman and figured we ought to kind of

discuss it a little bit because it is a

topic which

you know comes up right from a very

early age and you have this

i guess list of things you want in an

ideal woman and then it changes through

each stage in your life

i i just realized we gave that shout out

to her and i hope she doesn't think we

think she's the ideal woman well i

haven't seen her artwork

yeah well no she's just one of the few

females we know listen to the show

oh okay okay i'm just making sure

because that might come off a little

creepy you know what i mean it's like

hey we're gonna do one on the ideal

woman and by the way

and then next time i go up to the rehab

hospital and i have to see her she's

gonna look at me like

you're a little on the creepy side you

know i'd be doing a podcast about the

ideal woman

and you bring me up so i just want to

make sure we clear that up yeah there

you go the wolf and the shepherd over

120

000 downloads five of them are women

yes yes so the creepiness mixed with the

misogyny

might lose this one extra uh female

listener through this but

you know the sad thing is that's 20 that

is 20

yeah yeah so when i was a kid

like under the age of 10 i thought girls

didn't really have much point to me they

were like small dogs it's like what's

the point of having a small dog

what is the point of owning a small dog

i don't know

i don't want to really go down that it's

just a similar question i asked no

what is yeah but

now i'm wondering why i have a small dog

because you are

kind of right okay and your daughter

that's true because women think

small dogs are somehow you know

protected but still having a real dog

right it's not really no it's not a real

dog batteries in

yeah and no he's not a real dog and

that's what i've always told him

you know what you're not a real dog

you're you're better than a cat

but you're not quite about most cats

better than most cats

okay no not all cats fair enough i will

give you that one not all cats

but better than most cats not quite a

dog yeah

i bet he doesn't look forward to your

interactions as much as the ones where

he just gets called a good boy

no no no no a little bit more critical

well about things he can't change

yeah but he's never a good boy that's

the problem i mean he likes to pee on

the carpet

he likes to tear stuff up he's always

barking at

nothing i mean he's he's not really a

good boy

and that kind of sucks you know you know

my dog the old one oh the beesler

yeah we like our bees well she runs off

periodically when the front door's left

open and i say run off

she's like so old now that her idea

running off it's like

looking over her shoulders about 10

seconds after she's gone out front door

to make sure that

you're chasing her right doesn't quite

make it yeah

yeah and so my girlfriend lures her back

in with treats and then when she gets

her back in the house she calls her a

good girl and pets her and i'm like

you're just rewarding bad behavior and

absolutely

in this episode is she a good girl

because she has just run off she has

waited until you've gone and got her a

tree and now she's come back and you've

rewarded her bad behavior right that's

why she runs off for the first yes

exactly that reminds me of

when my dad first saw uh

time out and he you know some kid was

acting up

in a store or whatever and

this guy says okay you know little timmy

you're in time out

and my dad said i've got to figure out

what time out is so he kind of sneaks

around and looks and

he said do you know what timeout is i

said well yeah

dad and he's like no i don't think you

do because i walked around the corner

and the guy was just hugging his kids

saying i love you

i'm like well i've never been in timeout

then so yeah

he had more of the foot broken off in

your ass type approach to timeout no it

would

no it was more of the belt coming off

the pants and

getting it swung and sandy you know good

luck

blocking this yeah yeah you guys sit in

the corner there because there's only so

much space for you and your enlarged

buttocks yeah there there was no way i

was gonna sit in the corner because i

wouldn't be able to sit down

right so before the age of 10 what was

your opinion of girls i mean

uh you went to a normal school right

where they yeah

girls as well i remember when i was in

kindergarten i got married

yeah yeah yeah yeah i think i did a few

times

yeah we had a wedding ceremony and

everything i got married in kindergarten

and basically like every relationship i

had up until

high school i think it was one of those

i got married in kindergarten and then

didn't talk to her for like

two weeks and then found out that i was

supposed to marry somebody else or

she was gonna marry somebody else i

don't know why schools especially

elementary schools don't put in some

relationship

counseling because they could hit off

they could edge off a lot of the

problems which arise in late life

no that's really early on yeah they i

mean they really could it

well it's kind of like that argument

about how

what is it that you know they teach you

mitochondria

is the powerhouse of the cell but they

don't teach you how to do taxes or stuff

like that it's like

when are we going to get to the point

where we kind of reinvigorate some

actual life lessons in school well i

mean yours and i's

first relationships are almost identical

in terms of that's true

and that's creepy approaching duration

it's honestly creepy how close they were

yeah you know

we both stated the prettiest girl in

school didn't bother talking to her

and got dumped via a strange method as

in one

a friend told me well she was actually

like about six yards away and you got

told via the blackboard or whiteboard so

no no the blackboard yeah it was old

school back then it was chalkboard man

but do you think

do you think our approach of complete

silence and pretending you don't exist

was the downfall of the relationship or

do you think there were other things

that

you know possibly you know tainted the

direction it could have gone because you

could have been married to this girl now

yeah i think the sad part is i still

pretty much act the same way yeah you

know i i still would rather not talk

unless i have to talk and communicate so

i i haven't really learned anything

since those days

well i remember actually the first

online gaming

you know it used to obviously be a

novelty when women would come online

girls would come online and play online

games

no i think it still is and so to some

extent yeah and so there's always a

mixture of how you approach it

there was one that kind of oh it's a

girl you're gonna be terrible you're

crap you suck you know

all right you've got boobs yeah um you

know that type of stuff

heavy heavy-handed approach sure and the

other approach is completely ignoring

them

right if somebody's got like a girl's

name and their username or anything like

that

that you just completely ignore them so

for instance if we were playing rocket

league you know ever kind of like

passing the ball you know

say nice sharp you don't say anything

you completely ignore them and so you

kind of teach them that they're not

wanted by

deliberate ignorance so yeah and and

then those same people that do that

say why can't i find a girlfriend you

know why

why won't girls talk to me you know

you don't want to be dating somebody

who's playing online games with you

that's true yeah i mean i was a bit

suspicious yeah i wouldn't want to date

myself

i mean yeah i i totally get that

although sometimes you are full stay

a little bit yeah a little bit yeah so

the under 10 age i call the cooties

to princess age because i think you

formulate this kind of

ideal girl in your mind and she's kind

of like taking out all of the logistics

which you don't really have to worry

about when you're a kid like having

money

and a place to live and stuff right you

know you kind of think well

okay yeah i just want the prettiest girl

i want to be a kind of like

princess and past that there's not much

thought which goes into it because

in the vast majority of cases there's

nothing kind of

you know sexually involved there's an

attractiveness because you do find you

know girls

attracted that age but you're not

entirely quite sure what it is about

them that you find attractive i think

it's more the kind of

pleasant face that doesn't scare you off

or they don't yell at you or

eat right but i think you

you kind of hinted at something very

interesting

which is cooties yeah do cooties still

exist

i mean i remember saying pinch poke

you got your cootie shot or or a pope

pincher

there was some deal because remember a

girl touched you and like oh i got

cooties and

all that do cooties still exist or have

we gotten rid of that it's psychosomatic

you can actually come up in stress

related hives

from touching members of the opposite

sex or them touching you i mean actually

came from a real thing

okay so stressed that you could actually

come out in a rash and that was the

mythical cooties oh

so that's my problem now yeah

psychosomatic

yeah yeah okay disease well that makes

sense but it's a real thing

yeah okay yeah that makes sense right

the next stage in life

the 11 through 15 stage okay the first

stage was

under 10. okay so now we're where yeah

11 through 15

11 through 15. xbox before [ __ ]

yeah because you've got to get your

priorities straight many a man's

young life has been ruined far too early

when they could have let it be ruined by

women later on in life yeah but i think

i might still be in this stage and i'm

not 11 through 15 because i'd rather

play the xbox

yeah but that's i call that the

renaissance period the new renaissance

period when you come back to understand

what's important in life

the word period renaissance renaissance

yeah that's it is that another one of

those english things that the

english say the french word you know

probably the americans

england you come from it's said both

ways mm-hmm okay probably it's always

reminiscent of the same here as well

yeah say it again renaissance

renaissance yeah okay yeah well my

brother's

girlfriend is named renee and my

brother-in-law's

wife is named renee so they would

probably like the way you say it better

because it

adds credence to their name yeah you

know renee is

built in right but but no it's

renaissance

okay so xbox before [ __ ] i think a

lot of kids

you know boys in their early teen in

teens they kind of waste

you know their possible athletic careers

and

all types of things you know concentrate

on women because they first start

noticing women

and at that point i think it kind of

goes downhill for a little bit

because you arrange almost everything

based around

you know where you're going to see girls

right you know you kind of deviate from

your original path which was just to

have fun now you just want to see

well yeah it you know in i remember it

probably along

this time frame maybe a little bit later

so i might be jumping ahead a little bit

but this was kind of that tame time

frame

so to speak where you said well

what do you mean you don't want to play

games or what do you mean you don't want

to

go to ball practice or what do you mean

you don't want to

you know go hang out and ride bicycles

or whatever you really want to go be

with a girl like

why can't you come over here and let's

actually have

fun like why would you want to actually

go hang out with a girl

it's something which nobody really warns

you is coming i mean for all the good

advice you get

from your parents well i didn't get any

good advice from my parents scratch that

but you did you got some good advice

from your dad but i don't think they

kind of warn you

enough that look something's going to

happen to you you're not going to be

able to control it and it's probably

going to mess your life up

at least a few times a year now for the

you know dead type thing so let's give

you a heads up but

good point yeah it kind of moves nicely

into the 16 to 18 age

which i call the that escalated quickly

because that's where the

girls turn into women's stage in it that

is it

that's that tricky before your eyes yeah

that's that tricky phase

it's like those plants you can buy we

don't need to add much water before they

sprout up

yeah yeah no i mean it that 16 to 18

phase is that kind of tricky phase

because

on the guys side right and of course in

the us

i i don't remember and i've never even

asked you this question but

at that 16 to 18 phase that's when guys

are getting driver's license

that's when they're getting cars they're

able to actually go on proper dates

you know not in that 11 to 15 where it's

like well i want to go on a date with

this girl so dad can you

take us somewhere in the car blah blah

now all of a sudden

you have a car maybe you're borrowing it

from your parents but you're

driving right so you have that private

time

where you can actually be with a girl

without parental supervision so to speak

so yeah this is kind of that interesting

time

right there yeah now to be honest in

england most of the girls when i was

you know in high school were like swamp

donkeys so

you know i wasn't exactly spoiled for

choice wow i

guess i still find you still always

managed to find one or two to fixate on

sure you know make any kind of excuse to

force

any type of even remotely uncomfortable

interaction and then you've got another

40 or 50 years to replay back that

situation in the shower and kind of

think how you'd have said things

differently had you had the opportunity

again now

40 years later yeah but it but of course

you know you got all those raging

hormones at that age and you're confused

about

everything i mean it absolutely

everything i mean you got school pounded

down your throat you've got

it the girl thing you've got why is my

voice cracking

why do i now have hair here where i

didn't have hair there before

why do i have these pimples on my face

like what is

all this stuff going on it's complicated

time

i will say the girls actually ruined

what should have been a very very

and possibly the most enjoyable period

of your life there

because you finally you know were a

little bit bigger

given a little bit more responsibility

you started getting a solid group of

friends right you know you could do more

things

and then all of a sudden girls appear

yeah well it in i think i think you have

a really good point there about that

you know you're you're actually kind of

starting to

grow into what eventually is going to

look like you

you know you you're not so goofy looking

you know going through the growth spurts

and

all that you can kind of see hey this is

what i'm going to look like

basically for the rest of my life you

know i'm going to age a little bit my

hair is going to get a little gray

or or whatever else but here's how tall

i'm going to be

here's you know my body shape me here's

what my voice is going to sound like

all that good stuff so once again

another addition to the complication

of that period of your life yeah

amazingly there's not been a lot of

change between

you know the girls i remember from high

school and

college as to how they are now i mean a

lot of them really haven't changed that

much the ones who were pre

then still tend to be for the most part

pretty and the ones who you thought

ah she might end up okay she's still

waiting for that turning out to be okay

moment

no i don't know about that i mean i i've

seen some from my high school

where i've said you know that was

one of the pretty girls in high school

that was one of the ones that

every guy wanted to date and i've seen

them and i say oh yeah

took a bad turn there and then you had

kind of the

that ugly duckling syndrome right and

there was a handful that i'm like

where did that come from like you know

all of a sudden you graduated high

school

and now you're very attractive like

and i know it's opposite ends of the

spectrum probably less than five percent

on both sides but even the ones in the

middle

tend to kind of go south yeah but also

here

maybe not so much when you were you know

in high school but

girls now seem to wear makeup so early

and wear

right now adult clothes so very very

early that

you know by the time they're 11 or 12

they're pretty much

miniature women in terms of you know how

they dress

and you know doing the makeup whereas

like i said most of the girls at school

when i was in high school were like

a lot of been dragged through a bush

backwards you know you were lucky if

they washed the hair for school that

week i mean they

they really didn't put that much effort

in true and

let's also not forget about the whole

like instagram filters and all that that

you know people can put on themselves i

mean

my color blindness i think allows me to

realize

when i see a picture of a woman and i'm

like that looks so

fake i can't imagine what it looks like

for a non-colorblind person because

the non-colorblind person must be

looking at that saying

wow you really want me to believe this

is

what you look like when i look at it and

i say

this looks so fake i can tell you put so

many filters on yourself and this is

not what you look like something just

occurred to me actually

a couple of days ago i sent you a text

and said

hey i've downloaded about 80 3d movies

and you didn't reply i thought you'd get

kind of excited but then i remembered

your color blind and so that whole red

blue glasses thing didn't work for you

well i mean i still

can watch a movie in 3d but i don't have

a 3d tv

well you don't have to yeah you do no

you don't do what

no i like using the vlc software

it's this thing called a malograph or

something and it converts that

side-by-side screen

into the old-fashioned kind of blue and

red thing and so you put on those

glasses and you have a 3d movie

oh i didn't know that yeah i thought

you'd get a little bit more excited

oh okay well i thought you had to have

the whole 3d tv

and then the fancy glasses no not at all

you can download a 3d movie

and you know the ones for 3d tvs it's

that

hit side-by-side picture thing you know

the same thing you'd be looking at if

you were using

um you know like google cardboard or

oculus or any of those things i think

but now you just run it through vlc you

just go in the settings and you click on

this option

this 3d option and it's a malagraf or

something like that

and it changes it puts it into one

picture and every

part of the image has got this kind of

outlying kind of red blue image and you

put on the glasses and it's great 3d

oh yeah yeah well okay well that would

have been good information

more exciting yeah yeah well yeah maybe

you should have

added that yeah because i'm sure i was

dealing with other stuff i'm like oh

okay 3d movies then

that's fantastic but i don't have a 3d

tv so

thanks for that wolf but that doesn't

help me yeah but the funny thing is you

know i don't have the 3d

tv either so you must have wondered

where my displaced sense of optimism and

enthusiasm was coming from yeah but i

wasn't sure if your tv was 3d or not

because you got a badass tv

yeah so i thought maybe you also had a

3d tv because what is yours like 80

something yeah 85 inch tv i thought

maybe it was

also a 3d tv so

women start ruining your life completely

in the teens

true now you do get a little bit of a

let off once you get to college

because there's this kind of unspoken

thing for most people that regardless if

you were in a serious relationship in

high school

you know you get to reset a little bit

in college and start

trying to find yourself well that is one

okay that is one of the good parts about

college because yeah you can hit that

reset button

you know whoever you are in high school

you can then

turn around and say i'm going to be this

new person in college

yeah and and that is a hundred percent

true i totally agree with that

you improved [ __ ] yeah yeah exactly

yeah

i shall tighten up on the areas of

assholeness which escapes me

like a small 1.0 exactly but

college does also combine the maximum of

temptation with the maximum of

opportunity and so you have to be

careful in college because

some girls are a lot friendlier than

they were in high school

well yeah and i think a lot of the girls

that were

probably as and we're gonna go with this

as a theme

friendlier in high school

you know maybe they tighten up a little

bit in college and the ones that were a

little tighter on the friendlier side in

high school

loosen up in college using a lot of

euphemisms here

yes i know we're on the same path i'm

pretty sure we are we are okay

yeah i think we i i think we're both

going there's still any females

listening um

you've got any daughters or yeah female

friends just make sure they tighten up

in college

yeah i think we've we've now lost 60

percent of our female leaders

yeah tighten up in college by the end of

this it should be a hundred percent

yeah well no eighty percent because i'm

pretty sure you know your girlfriend is

gonna continue to listen to this

just to make sure that you're not making

fun of her or saying bad

stuff about her and then once you do

then

we've lost 100 of our female listeners

right

yeah one we don't want to do that we

don't want to do that

so the age between 25 and 35

i like to call the optimism kind of

window because

you know you get out of college and

you've got

your whole life ahead of you best days

are gone let's not deny that

um got your whole life ahead of you and

you're thinking

i'm gonna find a female who complements

me

and i'm gonna settle down and live out

the rest of my life in bliss

well that's what we all think right you

know everything's gonna be perfect

and all that and then we realize yeah

that ain't gonna happen well

the way i look at the way i look at it

it's almost nothing can dissuade you

even previous experiences of the age you

think you're gonna find the one to

settle down with who is gonna

cure all ailments that i look at it like

um say you look out your window first

thing in the morning

and there's some bird crap on the window

okay okay

now instead of letting it ruin your day

you remember

oh i think it's supposed to rain today

that will wash that bird poop off my

window

and so even though individually red poop

on your window

and rain not good things you somehow

managed to make the rain into a positive

that clean off the bird people and i

think that's how a lot of people go

through their 25 to 35s in terms of

relationships

they kind of think oh that'll be okay

because like you know if she if we don't

have the same interests it's okay we'll

find something in common okay i don't

really find it that attractive but i'll

i'll grow to i'll grow to love her for

her

and i know women do the same thing we

all make the same mistakes well

you you're also talking about almost

toleration

at that point you're like you know

you're getting into that subtle mode i i

gotta disagree with you though on the 25

to 35 because at 25 to 35 you shouldn't

be settling yet

well that's the thing that most people

do they don't like because

no yeah no you're right or not most

people

do but they shouldn't right that's my

point it

they shouldn't be settling there because

i mean if you

try to look at it that you know here's

my mate for the rest of my life you

shouldn't try to settle at that point

you ought to be able to just hitch to

that wagon and say here's my wagon

yeah yeah and i think a lot of people

didn't make that mistake it's i had a

friend of mine that said

you know everybody needs to practice

marriage

and i said what do you mean he's like

well you know i got married

early on because you know my girlfriend

at the time got

pregnant then we got married and

everything and then we'd realize

you know this isn't going to work so we

got a divorce and so i learned a lot

from that so that was my practice

marriage like okay well i i

get what you're saying that makes sense

and so

at this time he's married again to his

second wife

so he's got a kid with the first wife

they're divorced kids you know obviously

older than the newer kids

then the second marriage dissolves

and i'm like okay well so how many

practice marriages do you get

i mean you should really only have

one but apparently now you had a second

practice

marriage and now that one didn't work

and now he's actually engaged to the

third one

he got a phone call from his fiancee

now his fiancee back then it was his

girlfriend and she admitted

while we were on this trip that she

cheated on him

but now they're engaged and i'm like

i'm pretty sure i know how this is gonna

end

and guess what you're not elizabeth

taylor so

why are you going through all this yeah

doesn't make sense to me

right but that's me yeah i've always

thought

that you know to find somebody who

compliments you exactly you'd get tired

of

pretty quickly because as much as i like

myself

i also get fed up with myself

i feel the same way about mine i start

arguing with myself if i spend too much

time with myself

and i also realize that i'm very

difficult to deal with

when i try to deal with myself yeah i

start getting unreasonable

i start right i'm eating badly then i

start arguing

like a little bit crazy you don't need

to eat that yeah you're just eating it

because you're bored

right because you're tired and i'm like

shut up you're not the boss of me

and then you know you know things get a

little bit then you realize you're

arguing with yourself

and you're like how am i gonna say this

i'm gonna regret later

right you know it's a forced apology to

myself later you know

always awkward for days after mm-hmm you

know so

i think then it's worse when you give

yourself the silent treatment right

yeah and then you don't talk to yourself

for like days

yeah and then you just sit in that you

know closet of despair

yeah well the worst thing actually is

when you're pretending not to be in a

mood with yourself you know

yeah yeah because you can't you know

yourself if you're okay and you're

fine yeah but you know you're not fine

right

yeah yeah in it then it gets real

uncomfortable

yeah and then like hey do you want a

milkshake

yeah i know i want a milkshake but you

know what

i'm going to tell you no i'm going to

tell you no because you know i want a

milkshake but just to spite you

i'm gonna say no i don't want a

milkshake it's when you start

mumbling the word [ __ ] at yourself when

you walk out of the room

quietly hoping you won't hear it right

and then and then the worst part is when

you run across a mirror

then you bring the actual you know

optical part into it and then you really

get angry at yourself and you just start

pointing and all that good stuff we'll

admit one thing though

what's that after you've fallen out with

yourself the makeup sex is incredible

it is it can be fantastic well it can be

i've never

should be at one with somebody as much

as i have with myself

after yes long falling out and

reconciliation

that's true and then you have that

moment afterwards where like

yeah you know i i'm really sorry that we

went through this

but yeah i'm i'm glad we're back to this

point now yeah

and then you say we're gonna be okay

yeah i think

there needs to be more input like you

were saying

earlier in school where they don't teach

you about doing taxes about

relationships i think they should be

when you're about 12 or 13 especially as

a boy a class on learning how to love

yourself

honestly i don't see anything wrong with

that no

not at all i mean why not right yeah no

it there's a lot better stuff that we

could be teaching our kids right now

right

yeah yeah wanking 101 yes yes

so we move on to the least

encouraging part of the relationship era

the 35 plus the age of disillusionment

oh i mean so so now like the

end of it is literally like you hit 35

and that's the downhill yeah like here's

where it sucks

back to that under 10 attitude of girls

right

it's like buckle up it's not going to

get any better

this is just going to be terrible it's

going to suck the rest of your life

you know you're going to have maybe two

percent of the time

a few highlights yeah but other than

that

it's gonna suck yeah i think you start

thinking back in the next existential

fashion you start looking back and

thinking about

all those times when when you were eight

when you justified why girls are crap

they can't play computer games rubbish

at sports they're not funny

right they're annoying blah blah blah

blah and then you start thinking the

exact same things at like age 35 plus

you're like

why did i not listen to myself i know

why because

at one time during recess around that

same time period

i was eating paint so i don't know if my

words of wisdom should have always been

taken it's a little hard to disseminate

kind of which ones were golden i think

i wonder though in in so far i've

completely agreed with these

age time frames right yeah so

what if you figure this out at an

earlier stage

you know there's got to be some people

that prior to 35

hit this 35 plus range right

yeah or conversely

what if you figured out later i mean

okay let's take these one at a time

right because the guy that figures it

out later

sucks to be him right but the guy that

figures it out

early good for him right he's like hey

i've got this

figured out and then it's it's probably

like the

jeff bezos or you know bill gates it's

like

you know we've already proved money

isn't gonna keep the women

there because those two guys had tons of

money

and they couldn't keep their women happy

yeah i mean they're getting divorces

well i think basically is that basil

stuff about the manual saying stuff

about the women though

i think it says something about both to

be honest with you because i i know

bezos i'm pretty sure he's already got

through his divorce

i think gates is going through his right

now

but those two guys have figured out that

yeah that money isn't going to keep them

happy yeah and

they were still trying to go through all

these you know

poor bill gates i mean he's sitting

there he's

doing everything with microsoft and

still probably saying

you know well the girls don't like

playing video games like i do

and you know then he finally got a

girlfriend and now all of a sudden i'm a

multi-billionaire but

you know you you know you still can't be

my wife

so five got her up to a solid seven and

then yeah you know

yeah and she runs off with half his

money yeah and she still looks a little

bit like caitlyn jenner

let's be honest i mean they look like

they could be twins

right which is kind of sad yeah you know

and what was bezos's wife mackenzie

or something like that i mean she like

she was okay

yeah there you go mrs bezos right look

him back she's

all right but but she wasn't knocking it

out of the park she was no

tulsi gabbard no no no well nobody's

told to get

by and i think you know women at age 35

they have this thing of like you know

the first time i married for love the

next time i'm going to marry for money

whereas men they get to 35 is yeah i'm

just going to marry

somebody a little bit slightly with some

big boobs who doesn't shout on me too

much

yeah but okay so if if women marry for

love the first

time and then money the second time

then they get a divorce what's the third

marriage

what do they marry for on the third

marriage

attention well i think attention

is what they're seeking well

there's no way for us to know what women

want anyway i don't know if people get

married and married and married because

they're scared of

being alone because they can't trust

that unless they have something official

to it that

somebody's gonna find it too easy to

leave them or whether

people just view this thing of marriage

almost regardless of who it's to as

an achievement in and out in and of

itself you know it's like i'm married

i've got a wife i've got a family it's

the thing you might not be proud of that

thing you might not even like that thing

very much

but it's something you feel you have to

have to be complete

you know just like if you live in a

crappy house or something you live in a

house you know it's still

something is something part of the

american dream you've achieved there

okay yeah i mean you you look at it and

you say

i might live in a crappy house but i'm

still at least in a house

right i'm not living in a cardboard box

or a tent

under you know i-35 right you know

somewhere just trying to survive but at

least you'd be in texas

well yeah you know being homeless in

texas is better than living in a house

in some other states

that's true that is a hundred percent

true and marrying a woman who lives

under the i35 bridges

wait wait hang on i think you're on to

something here

what about a dating site for the

homeless people

where there are people that are lonely

right now and they could

then date homelessness people there has

been something like that there was a

social media

no kidding ricky gervais came up with it

on one of his

stand-ups and he said that there was

this

app um no actually it was him and

stephen merchant they were doing their

podcast and it was a ricky gervais show

or it might have been one of the xfm

and he was talking about there was a

social media thing which come out for

homeless people

and you know they'd be sending each

other messages and stuff on their

you know phones and uh but

surely you've got to run out of things

to talk about as you know you're texting

your friend

who's sitting next to you you've seen

like pretty much 24

7 for the last month and it's like hey

how's it going stuart

he's like you know full well how it's

going mate i'm sitting here in a puddle

of piss next to you

you know so i don't know if you can yeah

but i i it's not much to share

sure but i i think there might be an

untapped

resource with being able to set up

some kind of homeless dating site

because homeless texas women are still

better looking than a lot of women

that is true that is true so maybe we

can export them

to other states yeah you get a fire hose

out and hose them off and

down yeah they throw some makeup on them

throw one of those instagram filters

essentially if we had to summarize that

we would restore their dignity by hosing

them down throwing some makeup and some

clothes on and then sending them off to

a different state to

marry somebody they've never met just

right get rid of the homeless well yeah

i mean you could actually probably

put some kind of investment in this

right

so you could take a homeless texas woman

and

put a little bit of money behind that

clean them up all that and say

look i'm gonna invest like i don't know

five grand into you and then when you

get married

through the app that we have this dude's

got to pay

10 grand to meet you and you could

double your money

i see a few flaws is that slavery though

no because i don't want to i don't want

to say

slavery is good no

okay so it's not slavery but what are

the other well apparently it's good in

china

because well yeah but about happening in

china well i know but we're talking

about the

us now so but you said i see a few flaws

so you're saying

slavery's not a flaw so so we're good

there well we don't i do think slavery

is a flaw i don't think it is the major

flaw

oh what money-making scheme that you've

come up with

yeah well what are the flaws uh number

one it sounds like an awful lot of work

to set up which

immediately means we're gonna make zero

progress to it whatsoever well that's

true

yeah so perfect women in your time

can you remember when you were a kid or

up to the age of

puberty who your ideal woman was all the

time

cindy crawford crawford yep so

i remember i thought cindy crawford

was the quintessential perfect woman

i remember my mom's good friend i think

i've talked about her on the podcast

before

rest in peace aunt norma she worked at

mervyn's

and cindy crawford did this deal with

revlon

and so they had these posters

of cindy crawford in mervyn's

for revlon and my aunt norma gave me

these posters and i had him hanging up

in my room

of cindy crawford then i found out that

cindy crawford

made a workout video and i bought the

workout video

and never worked out to the video just

what you did

but well yeah i did but yeah i did

mysteriously

yeah i i didn't do the exact same

motions

that she was doing in the video but i

remember watching that video

and uh for years i thought cindy

crawford was she married to richard

no no she was in pretty woman

with richard gere that's what you're

thinking

i think of julia roberts yeah that's

julia roberts i don't know maybe she was

i don't know she was married to somebody

famous if i didn't hate celebrities i

could have remembered but

yeah yeah hi now julia roberts

you know she was another one i

understood no i used to think she was

pretty but that but then i

wised up and and then i got into the

latina persuasion that's why i'm married

to

a hispanic woman because wonder woman

the original one woman linda carter she

was my childhood fantasy

she's a pretty lady even now no even

today

yeah she's a good woman yeah i would

even make an exception for her today

yeah i would too yeah i

i see that yeah then i think um

do you remember did you ever used to

watch twin peaks at all

there's a girl called cherylin fenn she

dark hair big boobies um not ringing a

bell at all yeah her

i went through about five or six year

period of liking her

she didn't return any of my non-existent

calls either

um that's sad then i went through a

barren

period of having a fantasy woman i think

you go through that period

and it's maybe that after college to

the mid 35s i think we again where you

just don't

i think you lose all your hopes and

dreams of having your fantasy woman

right you stop kind of dreaming and

daydreaming of all these

situations and stuff you know outside of

sex you just don't think of

women in very many kind of like uh

perfect

meeting scenarios sure all this other

stuff i mean it's pretty much a

one-track

thought process for a long period of

your life there which

yeah in thanks evolution right and

quite honestly that's kind of sad

because

you have that dream set up in your head

and you say you know here's the perfect

woman

here's who i'm going to marry she's

going to be beautiful

she's going to this that and the other

and

i would be willing to bet a shiny nickel

that 95 percent of men

don't get that in game and say you know

i

married that one that i wanted right we

all have our dreams and and the dreams

are the dreams and

and that's fine and and you know women

have the same dreams you know they want

the

sexy guys they want the brad pitts they

want you know the george clooney's they

want all that

and that's all fine and well but it's

kind of sad

when there are so many men out there

that don't even get

just a little bit close to what that

dream is

to say you know yeah you're not the

cindy crawford you're not the selma hike

you're not the tulsi gabbard you're not

the

whatever but at least you're kind of

close and

some of the fame adds a little bit to

the

the 10-point system right makes them

look a little prettier but then you look

at some guys

and and women for that matter and

when i look at them on facebook i'm like

dang

this sucks yeah i mean it really sucks

well i think my relationship with

linda cutter was destined to failure

because when i first realized i liked

her

for anything to have happened she'd have

ended up on the sex offenders list and

now i'll be guilty of uh poking a

grandmother

you know because she's like 70 or 75 or

something no

she's she is not that old she's probably

not but

seems like it well i mean she was an

adult when i was a kid

yeah but she's got to be like yeah but

then you look at somebody like jennifer

lopez

which is like she jennifer lopez is you

know that's 52. yeah you know that's a

different person right

what do you mean well from then to cut

car say bringing up somebody else's

different ages well no

no but but my point being jennifer lopez

is

52 years old right and that was the age

of the women in the golden girls

and so when i grew up that was what

you know women in their 50s were

supposed to look like

and then you look at jennifer lopez and

you're like

that's what a 52 year old woman looks

like the cutter is seven ages born in

nine fifty you are

kidding me yes you are 770 this year wow

this was her just a few years ago

yeah and she was in the the new wonder

woman and you look at it

70 years old wow yeah

good for her now is linda carter married

i know it's another obstacle

yeah we you might want to figure that

out

i mean because because you could be the

young buck right now

and say hey you know i know you're 70.

you know you're still fill out that

wonder woman exactly

yeah martha stewart's another strange

um fascination of mine right i don't

know why

really well she's pretty yeah well she

used to be a model have you seen photos

of her when she was younger

yes yeah is it gorgeous no not

was beautiful still is beautiful i think

martha stewart's a good look and i think

she still has

probably the best hairdresser in the

world because for a 70 year old woman

her hair is on

perfect in terms of color and yeah

texture

once again in great personality yeah i

i love that picture of her and snoop

dogg next to each other

and the meme that says which one of

these people have been to prison right

you know because you know i've got that

signed photo of yeah right

says to my favorite wolf martha stewart

exactly yeah yeah

yeah so that's been a strange one i

would you know

i would make do with math though well

good for you

you know and i would make do with linda

cutter i just want to put both those out

there because i know the odds on both

are slim so i'm double in my low odds

too well well just in case

yeah just in case that you know

this podcast ends up being one of those

deals where

we might you know end up with one of

those

i will make do with selma hayek

okay or penelope cruz okay

just for the record so i have a free run

at tulsi gabbard then

once she gets divorced yes all right

yeah you can have tulsi

i mean tulsi gorgeous

but yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna stick to

the yeah the hispanic

roots i like my hispanics not jennifer

lopez

i i don't want anything to do with her i

mean she's two rings shy of tom brady

and she's never won with super bowls

so i'm i'm just i'm i'm not a fan of

jennifer's been around the block a

little bit

yeah yeah mini blocks yeah yeah now i

hope the

whole tulsi gabba thing works out

because next on my list is elsa from

frozen

oh yeah that's a good point yeah because

she's kind of

pretty a little bit quirky ryan probably

likes the temperature at the house i

like it

as well yeah and not only that but i

mean here in texas it gets hot during

the summer

so you could use her to say hey cool the

house down

and she just points her hand or whatever

she does with

you know that eye stuff yeah that would

be nice right

and you know i think that there were a

few

setbacks and she had a few little

attitude adjustments

which needed sorting out but i think

like across those two movies she did a

pretty good job i think she'd be alright

to hang around with

yeah the only problem is that snowman

deal

yeah i don't like that snowman guy yeah

you'd have to put up with that

right yeah you know all those famous

women they always have this like

guy that kind of hangs out it's like oh

this is my best friend and

you know if you're going to love me

you've got to deal with him is his name

olaf or something like that i don't know

i just know i don't like that snowman

guy well you'd have to get used to some

texas summers outside

so oh see that's a good point yeah you

move into texas

then he won't survive and you've got it

all taken care of yeah

so that's what i'm down to melissa tulsi

and elsa if martha

and linda are not up for it

yeah yeah yeah so this isn't a stump the

shepherd but this isn't

asked the shepherd a question or a

series of questions thing

in importance now where you're at in

your life

if you suddenly found yourself single

tomorrow

because of a stray asteroid but you had

a very quick

uh morning period so you're over it by

tomorrow afternoon

type thing where are these in level of

importance

in looking for a new bride as such

number one attractiveness well so why am

i supposed to rank these on like a

one to ten no no well you can if you

want just how important are they to now

compared to how they

have been different stages of your life

so remember lisa's been killed by an

asteroid tonight

you've had good night's sleep some good

online counseling you're over it by

tomorrow afternoon

you're filling out dating application

whatever because remember there's every

single street corner pretty much

local single females are searching for

you see that's all the time

yeah i mean i keep getting their alerts

on my phone

i know i know they're waiting for me

exactly all right

all right so so what's the

attractiveness how important is that to

you

now as opposed to it may have been when

you were in your teens or

well can't can't have another period but

can i still go like one to ten can i

just

can i put that okay uh attractiveness

ten so that's the got definitely got to

have the attractive hundred percent

yeah what other factors would you let

slip a little bit for the attractiveness

to be a maximum

none but

[Music]

now you're still looking for this

perfect overall absolutely

i mean i mean why not just

you know what why not get what you want

right

but why yeah

why yeah now i am so low i i have to be

attracted to somebody i can't

deal with all of this quite a nice

personality they're good now

now by the way my ten might not be your

ten

i'm saying for me it's gotta be a ten

right

what you might see as a ten

might not be what i consider a 10 and

what i consider a 10 might not be what

you consider a 10 but to me

that's important so yeah that's a 10.

so tulsi and elsa are still in the run

in there

uh sense of humor now we know girls

aren't funny but

one one one yeah don't set your

hopes up too high because they're going

to be dashed yeah i i

i have taken my wife to comedy shows

and no it's sense of humor

just don't care i i mean i really don't

care what is something though

since i discovered delta eight okay

which is available

from our friends just down the way here

at the cloud house that is true

and if you mention the podcast you get a

ten percent off

discount great guys who work there

they're open

awesome hours really late at night oh no

not awesome hours

they never closed yeah now that yeah

yeah it's 24 hours

they will be open if you drop by but

yeah go in talk to them

said fantastic guys get yourself some

lovely delta eight

um but anyway where was i going with the

delta right thing i have no clue

oh yes i do know the sense of humor

thing oh since i discovered delta

a my girlfriend's actually being quite

funny in some of the stuff she's said

so it takes mind-altering chemicals to

make her funny

yeah that makes well i think just women

period i mean

there are a few women i mean like one of

the guests we had on a few weeks ago may

tv she's a pretty funny woman no

me is she's a funny woman yeah um but

they're few and far between i mean

that's true i've never seen a female

comedian as such and so

she's funny i mean it for one they all

seem to go off the same

you know bullet pointed beat sheet you

know of all let's laugh about periods

uh child birth how crap men are

uh do you know who the last funny female

comedian was

no joan rivers see i never saw her in a

prime when she was doing a stand up no

joan rivers was funny she

always was funny because she would make

fun of women

she would make fun of men it wasn't like

you were saying

with the typical woman stand up comedian

stuff

joan rivers was funny rest in peace

she's been dead for a while but joan

rivers

was funny yeah then all of a sudden she

decided i'm going to sell

jewelry on qvc and kind of

from there yeah yeah but no i just don't

find any

stand-up female comedians sarah

silverman

used to be funny no

way back in the day she was funny she's

not funny anymore

but she she started out being kind of

funny

but then kind of went down the same road

you're talking about and then it's just

like uh i don't want it i don't want to

hear it yeah i think the mistake she

made is she

well other than the going political

route which you know

go go bro type thing right is uh

she tried to be too shocking you know

she got on the

she hit this curve of where they

suddenly allow

you to say anything you wanted on cable

tv

on certain channels or show anything and

so

you know i guess for her to try and

stand out she wanted to be

the most shocking comedian in terms of

what she said but

i think unfortunately like a lot of

women comedians they don't realize that

saying something controversial or

shocking in itself is not

funny you've then got to have something

about what you've just mentioned

agreed which is funny and i think they

still

you know female comedians still rely on

a shock value because

oh that word or that phrase came out of

a woman's mouth

and no it's not funny there's gonna be

so you just if a man said it wouldn't be

funny

right yeah and it should be equal

it 100 should be equal because

men are funny and women aren't funny

because there's plenty of men comedians

who like i can't watch 10 seconds that

they suck so badly

so it's definitely not that it's just

that women comedians generally speaking

i think have tried to

follow too much in the footsteps of man

and also

try to make a career again out of being

you know the mouthy girl or the you know

girl with a potty mouth or

right and it's just it's just not funny

at least not to men now there might be

women who

find that because you look at um

comedies movies which are

designed specifically for women or like

date nights so the man doesn't get much

of a choice in it

if he wants to yeah the whole romantic

comedy and all that yeah i mean you look

at the humor in those and it

doesn't matter what the movie what the

decade for the last i don't know

30 40 years it's pretty much the same

premise the same jokes

yep and yeah it's just so cringy even if

the actresses and the actors in it are

good it's just so cringy

yeah literally write the script you know

somebody said okay look

we've got a person here he's a real

estate broker we've got this woman

coming in town she's selling

a late grandmother's house you know we

need to make this

funny you know she's got one kid from a

previous relationship you know she's not

married so we can get some laughs out of

you know this guy who's you know never

had any kids trying to make friends with

this child and

you know it's the same worn out crap

right there's nothing

yeah and and then by the way the

the little addition there is

oh and she's overweight so now it's

funny

you know times two because oh now she's

a big woman yeah and so now we're going

to laugh at it more because she's a big

woman right

yeah yeah no it's ridiculous i agree all

right

so not really sorry so sense of humor

that's a why yeah if you're going to

take a hit somewhere may as well go

where you know where

right you know [ __ ] in the armor there

right intelligence again

we don't want to lose the four or five

women we still have listening to the

show but

intelligence in and of itself not

relative

i'm gonna go with intelligent for a

woman i'm not intelligent for a while

i'm gonna go wow

i'm not editing that part because yeah

we both looked at each other and said

how are we even talking about this but

i'm going to go with about a five

i mean you know maybe maybe six

somewhere in there i mean i don't want

them to be dumb dumb

right but i think six is probably the

maximum amount they could even get on

the one to ten scale

right yeah so so i'm gonna go

on the one to ten scale they immediately

lose four points because they're a woman

so i'm gonna go five to six okay yeah so

you really want

the top yeah points among the

uh yeah i don't want to have to explain

everything

over and over and over you know because

in your example right now you know this

is the replacement this is who i'm

supposed to be with

because the meteor hit and lisa's dead

i don't want to have to sit there and

try to explain right here's how to put

the batteries

yeah this new one yeah i i do not want

to have to show you

the youtube video of how to tie your

shoes every morning

so i'm gonna go with five knowing six is

the

max on the one to ten scale do you have

anything going on this weekend because

we could drive down to the southern

border and pick ourselves up a couple of

nine out of tens in the 18 to 22 age

range before they get sex trafficked

no don't tempt me yeah don't tempt me

all right

so intelligent so you're going for the

maximum the 100 percent

relative speaking and that's a six out

of ten correct

well well five to six yeah five to six

we're not going to use points

because now the math is going to get

complicated and

now we're going to confuse everybody so

exactly yeah

cooking and cleaning i've put those

together because they're household

chores which okay

should be all right so so i'm gonna have

to disagree with you here

i think those need to be separate okay

because i like to stick it under a jobs

for women umbrella or just

no because you and i both yeah and you

do a lot

of cooking yeah and so do i i like to

grill i like to cook and everything so i

want to separate cooking and cleaning

out

right because yeah i i want

the woman to be able to cook some food

and it'd be good but certain times

i mean i don't want a woman to cook a

steak for me i want to cook my own steak

i want to cook

the meats i'm i want to smoke my own

meats on my smoker

all that stuff so the cooking part is

not as important

now the cleaning part very important

yeah

because i don't want to pick anything up

i'm

i want somebody to come behind me and

take care of all that stuff if i'm gonna

be

taking care of the house as far as

paying the bills and bringing the money

in and all that

so the cleaning part we're gonna go with

like

eight to nine cooking part

if the intelligence is at that five to

six range

i can teach her how to cook the side

dishes and

and prepare the salad and all that so

not

that important right yeah i know also i

want to mention that self

cleaning is also very important it

didn't make the list

but good personal hygiene is also oh

well high up

no no no that's a given yeah but when

you talk about cleaning i'm thinking

cleaning the house yeah not not personal

hygiene well i didn't want some female

listening to this thinking she checked

all of these boxes but then you know

doesn't wash yourself down there more

right yeah

yeah no we don't want to work out no not

at all yeah

so cooking and cleaning i think

i mean again if i married martha stewart

yeah there'd be a few times i'd want to

impress her and cook a dish just for her

to pat me on the head and say good boy

now go and play with this bag of gold

i don't think you could ever do that

with martha stewart though

that i could never impress him not not

with cooking i think i could

i don't think he could it's martha

stewart yeah how are you gonna

impress martha stewart with cooking i

don't know there might have to be some

more delta rate involved

you know maybe lower defenses well

but on the woman's side maybe it depends

on how you're dressed

while you're cooking yeah i mean maybe

if you're you know just

wearing an apron in the kitchen and

you're dancing around as you do it maybe

that impresses martha

i wonder what i get though if i cook a

good meal for

i don't think it ever happened but if it

did i think you'd be happy well maybe

with her then i just let it go and just

let her do all the cooking

well yeah i mean if you if you're going

to have martha stewart

why would you want to cook right i mean

you literally have martha stewart why

would you

ever want to come i think i'm going to

turn 100 for home

decor choices over to her as well

absolutely

because she's got a whole magazine which

covers a little bit exactly i got to

know more than i do

yeah yeah why would you even bother

yourself

she's got a lot of money and we can pay

for some people to

brian yeah probably the same people that

i would be interested yeah

we could probably get these same couple

of girls yeah we're going to get from

the border at the weekend

c killing two birds with one stone and

then i can live in the guest house

with the help yeah all right we got that

which ironically

was the title of the newspaper ed

article written about when your wife and

daughter gets hit by the meteor

see there we go two birds with one stone

there we there we go

one of the few times you know break

bring in an iron journalist

could have had the chance to use this

headline he's been waiting for

yeah going tomorrow he can retire i've

been waiting is that

killing two birds with one stone i love

it local man sadly loses

wife and child but i'm gonna run with

the killing two birds with one stone

here

i love it so uh easy going

i'm gonna have to put that one in like

um

nine seems strong somewhere between

eight and nine i mean i i need

i need some checks every once in a while

yeah you know i

i need myself checked a few times

because

maybe i i need to be put in check so

i'm gonna go with an eight on that

because i know i get a little bit wound

up and wild and

and sometimes i need to get calmed down

so i'm gonna go with an

eight on that one yeah i'd go with an

eight or a nine because

a ten would be too much i think i'd

right i think i'd get away with too much

stuff

exactly also try and get away with more

stuff

which would keep increasing every month

exactly

yeah if it's too easy going and then i'm

like oh i got away with that

now i'm going to try this so so i need

some kind of you need to be cooled out i

need a check and balance

yeah you know it's just like when we

created this country we had a check and

balance system put in i need that same

check and balance well i think it's like

the shoplifting

situation at the moment in california

like in la

i think if as long as what you steal

isn't worth

more than two hundred dollars or like

199 dollars then

uh the police won't charge you with any

type of shoplifting or theft thing so

you're just going to make sure you steal

stuff

as many times as you want apparently but

for under two hundred dollars like so

you can do two hundred dollars from this

store from the store from this store

you know buy two cups of coffee from

starbucks maybe a little bit over your

budget

there um right but yes i mean

i think it's very similar to that i

think if i was allowed to get away with

anything and everything the chances of

me trying to get away with

anything and everything is pretty high

yeah so maybe an eight is probably right

yeah i think i think eight is that safe

number one but you have to

kind of get that safe line

which stops them from formulating and

trying to act upon their own opinions

because this is one of the things which

uh the whole men's movement since the

50s when

women took more of an independent and

feminist type role this is one of the

biggest complaints

um among gatherings of both men and

women

that women were supposed to be seen and

not heard you know look pretty

you know respond of being addressed but

there was a huge complaint that in the

60s and 70s among the uh

gentlemen in england that women were

starting to offering far

too many of their own opinions into

matters

and commenting things that they are not

well versed in

and making themselves look foolish in

the process gotcha

yeah we got to be careful thinking

something keep it to yourself

exactly yeah there was a lot of study

which went into that men what don't you

like about this

i don't want to give him an opinion on

something right right yeah

holds true today as it did 50 years ago

and just

keep it to yourself yep makes total

sense

uh this last one i suppose approach

the sexual liberation era with

non-condemnation non-judgment

you know allowing people to be free to

express themselves

find different people they may or may

not want to be with

and so i had to come up you know with a

category which

you know not only respected free choice

you know my body my choice but also

you know allowed people who wanted to

stick to that there's just one person

for me only

type approach so i called this section

not a [ __ ]

not a [ __ ] yeah how important is that

that she's not a [ __ ] well

i would have to go with a two-fold

answer on

this one because i would have to say

depending on what side of the bedroom

door we're in

right not a [ __ ] on the outside of the

bedroom door

that's like a 10 plus yeah you know

can't do that yeah on the inside of the

bedroom

that's like a negative four yeah

yeah yeah one of my ones yeah one of my

good friends

actually made a incredible error because

he based his

decision-making process on a hip-hop

song he heard and

he unfortunately ended up with a lady in

the bed and a [ __ ] in the street

so i wasn't happy yeah no that that

sounds

that sounds terribly bad well with all

that said

thanks for tuning in to this episode of

the wolf and the shepherd we certainly

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