May 14, 2021

In Other News - May 14, 2021

Joined once again after his trip to India, Pat Beaman teams up with the Wolf and the Shepherd to discuss some bizarre news stories.


welcome to this episode of the wolf and

the shepherd it's time for another one

of our in

other news segments joining us once

again from

on an island with pat beeman we have pat

beam and pat good to see you

oh good to see you boys sorry i missed

the last week yeah

it's been a while see we couldn't do

this episode or this segment or whatever

without you where have you been

well we were in india uh doing uh

covenant shots for the less fortunate

out there

oh great because you're actually immune

because both you and your wife actually

got the kovid the first time around


i don't know if that makes us immune we

just said

we're going for it you know the poor

people in india i know they're big fans

of the show over there

and uh so we thought we'd go do our part

yeah good deal yeah

it's unfortunate to think we might have

actually lost some of our indian


so uh well i didn't think about it that

way until

just campaign among the ones which are

still out there

yeah alive and kicking got you now

that's uh that's actually kind of sad to

think about that our

listening numbers might have dropped

yeah pat did you

hand out any of those um wolf and the

shepherd t-shirts while you're out there

not obviously to the people who were

dying that would have been a waste

but you know some of the helpers or

something we did you know we wore

loud and proud and uh you know pass them

out so yeah cool

job cool nice now most of the people we

passed them out to were volunteers as

well so

you'll probably see spikes from right

france and

ah england not so much yeah india

that's true i don't know if our podcast

appeases the french

i doubt it yeah i think i've said enough

bad stuff about the france

all right before we start this week

obviously this weekend

big weekend if you're a woman mother's


so max the problem the problem is though

you do realize this isn't going to debut


long after mother's day doesn't matter

okay they don't know well now they do

well the um fact you have a mother she

must be buying something

on mother's day i am what are you

getting her

i don't she doesn't listen to the show

well she's your own mom and she won't

listen to it well not only that but then

she would hear this after i've given it

to her anyway right yeah

so what if i change my mind and then i

say what i was originally gonna buy and

then i don't buy that and i'll buy

something else

all right so you mean you haven't

decided what you're getting yet you're

gonna get

something on sunday morning on the way

to her yes all right

pat is your mother still alive she's not

no mine neither so if i'm going to

celebrate mother's day i need to

get in on a seance or something ah yeah


down to the lesser important women what

are you getting your wives for

uh now why is it that you have to get

your wife something from others i don't

know see

because they are the mother of your kids

and your kids not my problem

exactly too busy buying robot blocks

well but it's not pretty it's not my


my wife is not my mother so why would i

buy her

something for mother's day that doesn't

make any sense yeah plus you should

probably get her what she got you for

father's day bloody nothing

exactly well she could grill food

because that's usually what i have to do

for father's day

yeah it'll be another do-it-yourself job

pat what are you getting karen

because we know you're buying us

something don't i'm not i'm getting a

card probably because i'll

succumb to the peer pressure of that and

i've got an older daughter with a job in

a car

okay so i rely on her to actually pick a

present all right

see i'm honestly kind of surprised pat

doesn't buy a mother's day card the day

after mother's day and then put it in

his desk and then set a little reminder

to say hey i bought that mother's day

card for like 75

off and then he pulls it out of the desk

gives it to the wife

and then remembers the following monday

to go buy a new card

yeah twice i've got two different cards

for occasions in my desk

that i've forgotten to give and wouldn't

paid full price

and then found them later oh man but

that is a good tip

i mean this is gonna come out after

mother's day so go down to the store

go buy you a few cheap mother's day

cards throw them in the desk and that

way you've always got it taken care of

we're gonna single-handedly

[ __ ] the greeting card industry

although if your mother is

really old don't go crazy and buy more

than like about three or four because

then you might end up just wasting

ah but you could resell them yeah it

might have

some people might think a bit bad luck

and buying cards which were meant for a

woman who's now dead

that's true yeah i'll place the juju on

it or whatever it is

right all right so hit us with some news

stories now

i'm not promising uplifting stories this

week not because they're all depressing

but because whenever i try and bring in

something which

about a week ago previously amused me by

the time you kind of read it

with lucidity it is actually a little

bit downy

right yeah so first one instagram

meme queen i don't know there was such a

thing with

5.8 million followers is accused of

launching a smear campaign

and trying to extort 320 000

from peck rumor after an employee

accidentally cut off the tail of a mom's


went down how quickly didn't that went

way downhill real quick i was

celebrating her success on instagram

there as a

major influencer and then all of a

sudden a mum's dog gets his

uh tail snips yeah but i thought

pomeranians didn't have tails don't they

have those

aren't those those ones those curly ones

you can constantly see their [ __ ]

oh isn't that pomeranian unfamiliar with

all most dog breeds

other than labradors and uh golden


and visuals remember we get those two we

get the labradors and golden retrievers

kind of confused

especially the distance yeah yeah well

they're basically the same dog yeah

that's what scooby-doo was right one no

great dane

stafford terrier or something like that

320 000

seems like a lot for a tail yeah

i'm pretty sure you could get a

prosthetic one made or like a

one 3d printed and like stuck on there


gorilla glue and it would do the same

thing you could probably buy one off

wish for like six bucks

yeah but you never know what you're

getting from wish true but it's for a

pomeranian so what difference she might

get a whole

pomeranian live scent in the mail well

there you go

missing the tail ironically yeah what if

she got an

actual tail from a pomeranian and then

it turned out to be the pomeranian's


yeah that'd be some dark web yeah stuff

going on there

so the dispute erupted after riley's

mother's dog

noel the pomeranian his name is noel


just in case you were worried about the

name of the dog

was injured at the pet store in january

when an employee

accidentally cut its tail healthy spot

which is the name of the uh said pet


apologized to knoll's owner agreed to

cover the dog's vet bills

and fired the employee involved now i

don't know about you but i think she's

done enough that so i think so too

and i paid the bills fired the person

involved i mean what else you're

supposed to do

shame them on social media this uh meme

queen which i still don't like saying

because i don't know if i've ever seen a

funny meme by a girl i kind of like you


meme queen because i think you want to

be a meme queen only at weekends

oh so threatening to use a massive

social media clout to ruin their


if they didn't pay up them see so there

you go so yeah social media shaming i

was right

yeah so the row erupted on instagram

leading to

rabid animal rights supporters seen in

the pet store chilling death threats


or cut your effing arm off and kill them


they need to burn so wow there's some

lessons in there

that is serious yeah be careful with

pomeranian's tails

right was this some sort of a famous

pomeranian maybe now apparently the

woman is the meme

queen who i've never heard of riley

riley tully

also known as riley beak speakers in

like a bird's

mouth almost yeah just one too many e's

for that

there you go oh well moving on moving on


mo women mo problems yeah

uh man who's in a polyamorous

throughput or throttle with his ex-wife

and his new girlfriend admits he has to


separate alone time with each of his

queens to prevent jealousy

okay you lost me a little bit on that

because you said they're still

all together but one of them's his

ex-wife one of them's his ex-wife

so one of them is his new girlfriend and

he's in a throughput

or throughput with them so why did he

get divorced in the first place

if they all know about everything i

don't know

could you ever see having a second wife

oh absolutely not

no no but i am interested in the

polyamorous threefold

well that could be good and bad yeah i'm

not going to smack that

no that could only be good the shepherd

doesn't want one wife so it's not what


it just seems like that's an awful lot

of work to keep track of

i mean we were just talking about

mother's day presents now i mean you'd

have two

anniversaries to keep track of and all

that i can barely remember one

yeah i'd kind of like two half wives if

you get the meaning

what's a half wife well so put together

equals one wife

but it's the duties uh uh

spread between two people instead of one

completely lost

yeah okay so what's your next story well


there is more you gotta hear more about

this man and his queens

right kevin wesley 39 from north

carolina met his ex-wife

okay let's let's be honest i thought you

were going to say utah no

don't just happen in new terminate uh

and his ex-wife

artist jamie t apostrophe knee

uh 39 at church when they were teenagers

and they were married by 20 years old

um got divorced bloody blood there's a

lot more explaining that but nobody's

interested in that with his new


here her and his ex-wife formed a

platonic bond

and kevin knew immediately that a thrall


might be a possibility so i'm guessing

he kind of persuaded both of them that

this is definitely what

so here's the next question i guess you

didn't do what you normally do

and hold the phone up to pat and show

him the pictures

of the two women do we have pictures of

these people yeah

what are the two queens you want to see

a picture of the two queens well that

and the dude

here we go well now i know why they

called them queens

that didn't see their development no i i

did not either so now i

now i know why you uh kind of held back

the picture and

started talking yeah that uh that's

quite a wrinkle that you

just added to the story there yeah so

this threat will only came about

five years after the breakdown of the

marriage so

you know he gave him both some time to

come around to the idea

kind of played his hand and you know

congratulations to him

i think power good for his patients yeah

i mean especially in this swipe left

swipe right

world that we're in i mean five years to

put into that i guess he's reaping the

benefits now

yeah benefits plural yeah you're gonna

put the hours in

yeah you do i think we i'll agree it's

probably well worth his investment yes

yes yeah mysterious headless beast

spotted in a tree turns out to be a


after terrified locals in poland called

for help

pat does it bother you the way he says

croissant well i i'll be honest with you

i wouldn't show you what he's saying

until you just said croissant and

then uh it made a lot more sense i'm not

sure why there's a pastry in a tree

but well yeah but it's just weird so

it's supposed to be

pronounced mate well that's how the

french say it and well french words

i know but see you're saying a french

word in an english accent

and pat and i really didn't know what it

was that

i you're gonna have to read this again

because it took me probably two or three

seconds to realize you said croissant

right well it comes up in the article

more than once

anyway the krakow animal welfare society

received a panic call from a local

describing a mysterious creature

they've been lurking in a tree for days

the woman said that people have been

frightened to open their windows in case

the beast came into their homes

inspectors headed to the scene only to


that the creature in the tree which

appeared to have no head or legs

was actually a croissant yeah it still

bothered yeah

are you getting over it pat or is it

still bothering you well now i'm i'm

over it now that i know what he means

but when i i wasn't sure what it was i

had trouble

so was this a croissant that was like

locally baked or was this a store-bought


i don't know apparently the um animal

welfare society

got this message and it's on facebook

which said uh it's been sitting in the

tree across the house for two days

people aren't opening their windows

because they're afraid it will go into

the house

with some add in the mysterious beast

was brown

is that what color croissants are

supposed to be i don't know but you want

to see a picture of it

if they're overcooked probably brown am

i not really sure what a croissant is

i mean one of those carol curled light

pastries oh and a half

that's like one and a half croissants

yeah what's

what happens when it's left outside in

there it is mysterious looking i'll say


yeah that doesn't look like a croissant

to me well listen there's more


oh while animal welfare workers

suggested it could be a bird of prey

the caller said it looked more like an

iguana but she couldn't remember the

name of the lizard iguana

and initially called it a lagoon

potentially adding to the confusion

of lagoon isn't that a type of bean

i thought that was a body of water yeah

she went with the body of water

yeah thing so inspectors visited the

area concerned that a reptile may not

survive in the cold spring temperatures

they eventually spotted something in a

lilac tree noting that it had no legs or


we already knew that we could not help

this creature the mysterious lagoon

it turned out to be a croissant the

society wrote on facebook

i said i hope that the bizarre incident

which we believe was genuine would not

discourage others from reporting their

animal welfare concerns

the society said it had also gotten

calls about abandoned cats dogs and even


abandoned fish yeah how do you abandon a


it's pretty easy i'll bring one into the

studio and just like leave it on pat's

desk and make a quick runner without

seeing and all of a sudden i've

abandoned a fish

yeah with or without the water yeah but

the fish is gonna die if you

bring it in a thing and when he's on the

phone or when he's playing solitaire on


own did they eat the croissant

i don't know if it was in france they

probably would but i doubt

do they eat poland do they eat him and

cheese and on croissants in poland

i have no clue i don't even know that

they had them in poland

well don't they have them everywhere no

they don't have ham in poland

no i thought you could get polish cheese


so they could put cheese on the

croissant well maybe you can i just

didn't know that

poland did croissants i mean i don't

think i saw one until i was about 14

years old

did they not have croissants in the uk


well they didn't used to have but then i

guess the whole

eu came along and introduced they wanted

a fluffy

lightweight just the english muffin i

think was probably what they had

yeah that's true you don't want too many


pastries fighting with each other and

let's be honest the english muffin

is probably one of the only good things

that ever came out of the uk

because i mean egg mcmuffin sandwiches

those are fantastic yeah okay this next


it's not it's not happy but it's not

depressed and i think it's quite


literally loving a glove covered

patients are comforted with

fake hand filled with warm water so they

do not feel alone in brazilian hospital

oh that's creepy there's a picture of it

and it's basically just a surgical

rubber glove filled up with warm water

which has been laid upon

somebody's hand laying in bed who

obviously can't get away

look it's actually too tied together


and you're sliding your hand in between

them yeah did you see any of that when

you were in india giving these

covid shots the indians don't have

surgical gloves that's

that's uh we just went bareback oh


so yeah it's actually two hands um

i wish i'd have thought of this as a

teenage boy actually yeah yeah anyway

that's a good point yeah so image showed

a hand

of a bedridden patient being clasped by

two rubber hat

sorry by two rubber gloves clasped

not being held well yeah of course yeah

yeah and of course

yeah you know pat pointed that out from

the picture yeah i didn't even catch it

from the picture yeah

makeshift solution was created as a way

to simulate

human contact in isolation that it

didn't feel like to try and see where

does it

two disposable gloves tied full of hot


simulating impossible human contact

salute to the front liners and a stark

reminder of the grim

situation our world is in other social

media users who are quick to praise the

efforts of healthcare workers

all this over some gloves so yeah that's

a touching story uplifting story yeah do

you think they

got that idea from somewhere else though


yeah yeah it's giving you

yeah yeah apparently it's giving pat

some ideas yeah

is a uh failed robbery

it's called no sense between them and by

sense it's about


going for the pun there yeah lowest form

of whip

two women aged 39 and 61

try unsuccessfully to use a one million

dollar bill

at a dollar general store in tennessee

whose face is on the one million dollar


trump's wouldn't it um so were they

trying to buy the store

or were they like getting a pack of gum

and looking for 999 thousand nine

hundred ninety nine dollars in chains

well amanda mccormick and linda johnson

not the two names i expected i will be

honest with you

went to the store last monday the pair

had a shopping cart

full of goods including gift cards for

other stores mccormick presented the

cashier with a fake bill claiming she'd

received it in the mail from a church

the cashier called the cops once there

johnson 61

said she knew nothing about it the pair

were banned from the store but no other

action was taken

i'm sorry no other action was taken they

were just banned from the store for

trump wow

you can show it with monopoly money and

if the clerk doesn't catch it you get

away for free

well when question mccormick said she

received it in the mail from a church

and that she intended to distribute the

gift cards to homeless people

now what which one is which is that the

the older one or the younger one

um yeah no mccormick's the younger one

remember the old one's gone a bit

like she's got alzheimer's and so she

doesn't know what's going on oh okay

so yeah they've now both been banned

from the dollar general and i'm not sure

it's just down to that store i think it

might even be a statewide or even

nationwide ban

do you think they just thought you know

first time let's go big or go home or

have been building up to this you know

they already passed a half a million

dollar bill and

thought let's give it a shot right with

the old woman

johnson it says plate dumb telling the

police she had no idea about the money

or where it come from

and that she was just running errands

with mccormick it's unclear how the two

women know each other

they were running errands together but

they don't know

how they know they couldn't manage to

find out this is police didn't manage to

find out

okay they knew each other all right i

need you to be honest one thing yeah

just for a minute okay did you write

this news article no because this sounds

like the kind of journalism

this sounds like the type of crap i

would write yeah

no but i i i didn't and b yeah that's

what it says say it doesn't it's unclear

how the two women know one another

no right when's the last time you tried

to use a two dollar bill in a store

uh never really

yeah i don't think i've actually ever

had one you're kidding huh

pat what about you love the two dollar

bill yeah when's the last time you used

one in a store

general uh it's probably been 15 years

since they usually

store generally i like to save my two

dollar bills for tips

right uh you know if i'm going someplace

i'll go down

get some two dollar bills and gotcha so

here's a challenge next time you go to

the bank which

most the time nobody goes to the bank

anymore but go in get some two dollar

bills and go around to like convenience


basically places where they have people

behind the counter they're

less than say 25 years of age

most of them have never seen one and

think they're counterfeit

fun little game to play a lot of time

to go to just to probably get what will

be a lackluster reaction to the prank

well that's how i entertain myself on

the weekends

now that he's got that story with the

two gloves that sew together

you've got a second way to entertain

yourself well not only that but yeah

i wonder how many gloves i can get for

two dollars

well those some surgical gloves you can

get them pretty cheap at lowe's or home


is that where hospitals buy them yeah

well have you not seen like i'm lining

up first thing on a monday morning like

about five o'clock in the morning

i thought they were visiting no because

they have that

stupid thing like two boxes per customer

and if you're a hospital you need more

than two boxes

of gloves so they have to have multiple

doctors and nurses

buying boxes of gloves okay and then

they just drive them to the hospital

that makes sense

so so public service announcement don't

go to home depot

early early in the morning because on

mondays because our frontline

workers need to go back especially for

one hour just to let doctors and nurses

buy two boxes of

12 count gloves each

for the horse hospital and some of them

have to come back and do it again

pretty small box there's only 12 gloves

in there oh yeah it's like

barely thicker than an envelope well 12

12 pairs of gloves

or 12 gloves totally actually you know i

don't know it just says 12 counts so

that's just you know six yeah

that's sad it's not one arm 12.

so after mentioning that rather


frapple from earlier on i found an

example of

where it didn't actually quite work out

so well oh no kidding

yeah oh i think yeah i would have


one would provide the pattern for

success for all others to follow but

apparently these things have

gone about forming a throuple in very

different ways

and one has obviously worked well and

this one has gone to crap

oh okay so washington doctor is charged

with trying to hire dark web

hitman to kidnap his wife and inject her

with heroin twice a day to stop a

divorce in him

after he invited another woman into

their relationship

i think he got things kind of the wrong

way around and some points there

yeah but let's be honest if if you're

gonna entertain this throuple idea right


wouldn't you just kind of float that out

there as happenstance conversation

yeah you know you're out with the wife

or whatever

and you had a couple glasses of wine

took her to a nice dinner and said

you know i've read this news story about

this guy that

has this perfect throttle what do what

do you think about that

and then kind of get her reaction right

like like see what she has to say about


yeah rather than just kind of dropping

the bomb

right on it yeah i think it's like

salary negotiation

right the first person to say it loses

um so you have to beat around the bush

to get her

to come up with the idea so if you do

beat around the bush does that increase

the chances of the theropol or not

did you spend enough time around the

bush yeah that makes sense yeah

but but not the president's no okay no

of course back to the whole introducing

the throttle yeah

it's dangerous because she might suggest


where you're in the minority oh not the

devil's threesome

no oh that but that's a good point

yeah that is a good point you could

never trust a woman who tried to get you

into a devil's threesome anyway

so that would probably be for your

benefit in the long term because that

would tell you right

and then you need to divorce it but but

that is something to be worried about

if you're considering going down this

road you shouldn't you wouldn't think

you'd have to clarify that

but if you're listening it's probably in

your best interest that you do just

you don't even want to be that one in

ten or one in a hundred where

it really really is a disappointing

evening exactly yeah

makes sense yeah so anyway if his wife

didn't agree to the threesome i think

then he should have injected it with

heroin and asked her again

got her hooked on it and then only

promised to give her a fix

if she agreed to the threesome so it'd

have guys threesome

and wouldn't have even had to go on the

dark web to hire kidnappers

right but obviously this guy's got a lot

of money because that would be a huge

heroin habit to support

the doctors who probably got easy access

to it yeah but he could be like a

doctor at a school you know like doctor


mathematics or something like that yeah

i think it's in third

he's a uh so is his plan to keep her

hooked on heroin forever

until she changes her mind i don't know

well obviously not now the fact this is

a news story probably means that

somebody somewhere has put a stop to it

that's a good point yeah it's said to

have given instructions

and goals for kidnapping estranged wife

the person would be rewarded for

fulfilling the goals with

bitcoin payments yay no bitcoin yay

unnamed journalists

i wouldn't put my name to this article

either uncovered the plot

during investigation into the dark web

the fbi were alerted to the plot

and the dude because i'm saying that

because i can't pronounce its name it's


llg oh that's his last name his first

name is ronald let's just call him


yeah rather than leg luke

as uh since being charged with the plot

the allegations brought against him

always there

neonatologist neonatologist

yes they make a lot of money yes what i

said what's that then oh that's the

the baby doctor creamy preemie baby yeah

preemie baby doctor yeah if they're

born before you know time that they show

up a little early

well the shepherd should know because he

has all 23

seasons of er which he's watched

multiple times with his wife so

we're on season 11 right now yeah he's

been charged with attempted kidnapping

which can carry a 20-year prison term

and the f oh the fbi were actually

tipped off by his

wife who herself was informed by a group

of unnamed international journalists

investigating the so-called dark web so

yeah he probably didn't go about it the

right way

that's real amateur approach to getting


trouble well i'm thinking that dark web

is not near as secure as i was

led to believe if the journalists are

finding this and

hashing it out i mean is there just like


hitman rs you fill out a form and uh

somewhat similar because you use

something called the hidden wiki

which gives you links to all these

different stores where you can buy

things in whether it be like drugs

firearms or hitmen or whatever else it

is you want

and there's various marketplaces and

if you sign up with a membership you can

talk in forums and you know do buy

sell exchange all this other type stuff

in there

and i guess these journalists you know

created a

you know spoofed identity went in there

and just monitored the communications

and got enough information to get

leads to investigate it wow i was one

just as well we

hate nike just do it many wear large

logos on their t-shirts as seen as more


study fines and as an example they've


a photo of what gender i'm not sure

wearing a large

nike logo is that a man or a woman or

would you not want to guess

man that's a that's a tough guess right


i mean even austin powers one there i

tell you quickly is that a gender

neutral person that might be is that

what that means i don't know

oh i think you can see it's adam's apple

in nature males putting on grand


signal signal investment in reproduction

that's about the most romantic way i've

heard that explained in all right

is that like the peacock yes you know

with all the big

big tail feathers yeah you know

definitely that's where that song shake

your tail feathers came from right

no that comes from a different bird oh i

don't know what bird

but you're 100 sure it's not the peacock

i'm about

92 sure it's not okay i don't think they

shake the tail feathers do they well

maybe they do i know i'm pretty sure

they do

pat any inside information on the


i'm going with max yeah see

i i think the peacock shakes the tail

feathers and that's where that song came


who sang that song and i it wasn't kanye

it wasn't kanye okay

okay a u.s psychologist set out to see


blingy clothes serves the same role in


again i don't know where the tax dollars

are going for blinky clothes

like uh bedazzled from there and that

kind of thing yeah

people evaluated a hypothetical in other

language completely made up

man based on the size of the brand logo

he wore

luxury displays are seen more as an

indicator of investment in matin

than kids wearing smaller logos was

associated with

trustworthiness and reliability you know

i'll buy that because

i went to dillard's several years ago

and bought a bunch of ralph lauren polo

white dress shirts and so i always knew

what my size was i'm like okay yeah and

i grabbed like four or five of them

right out of the stack just

you know check to make sure they were

all the same size didn't

look at any of the shirts right so then

took the shirts as they were took them

straight to the dry cleaners or whatever

picked them up one of the shirts had

like a little colored horse on it

rather than just the you know standard

one color

it was all kind of fancy you know look a

lot better

three of the shirts just had one color


but the fifth shirt had this ginormous

polo horse on it you know the little

logo that we all know right

i think i've worn that shirt one time i

did not know and it it just

looks a little promiscuous yeah a little


do the women do they respond to that

[ __ ] yeah

do they know the shepherd is up for it

if you wear that shirt

that's really what the but the article's

important yeah that's what it's infering

i'll have to keep that in mind yeah i

have to dig through and see if i still

have that shirt

big logo seeks action like a good

personal access headline wouldn't it yes

well it'd make a good marketing campaign

yeah well nike can't

scrape the bottom of the barrel any

further so they might as well go with

that well that's true

yeah but also does that mean the people

that are on like tinder

have big logos on their shirts yeah but

they're not representative

of what they can fulfill oh it's

overcompensating through logo size

gotcha that's the wolf generally wears a

large logo on his t-shirt

what large logos are those because my

adidas ones are only about that big and

my under armour ones are even smaller

i'll give him yeah i know what i'm

projecting out there

right so do the ladies most of them and

it's a lack of enthusiasm and general

responsibility so

yes if you do sound like you might be

interested in that

you can drop me an email at the wolf and

the shepherd

so the theory was that such audacious

displays of wealth are enticing

uh we get to the real crux oh it's all

about the gold diggers

are enticing because they signal a man's


power and ability to invest in their


futures that in the corner went from men

being promiscuous because of the size of

their logo to about women being gold


that now i was right he was

but but he's always right he's always


even when he contradicts himself he's

still right cause he was right at the

time when he said it

right because that's the approach they

use for this dr fauci dude who's

contradicted himself i can't tell you

how many times but

he was right when he said it true but

then he wasn't right

later on do you think kanye west and dr

fauci are friends

doubtful dr fouch is [ __ ] yeah he is a


uh kanye is a genius doesn't he have

he has like a shoe brand and everything


yeah how big are the logos on his stuff


because it's a designer shoe i should

imagine the logo is decently

big so people can make sure that you're

definitely wearing yeezy shoes or maybe

the shoe is defined by not having a

prominent logo which is how you

recognize the brand i don't know i

wish we could afford those how do you

not know this what

a kanye west's yeezy designer sneakers

generally look like i mean do they have

a big logo on them or not you've got


i just wear a wine storm way yeah so no

no that's not true you sell them on ebay

for thousands after you've worn them

just like with your underwear

thousands of cents not thousands of

dollars let's not get carried away

moving on

moving on let's move on to large lobster


product logos and enhance social


and male attraction whereas you see

that's a whole bunch

group written down here there's one

comma in there

and it ends with perceptions of

trustworthiness and then there's a


that was a bizarre ending to that story

yeah i think he started off with good


switched to the gold digger thing then

dropped some acid and then

didn't finish off the article properly

but i'm glad to still published it


yeah no it's not nice poor editing is

poor editing yeah lazy right

here we go nothing out of the ordinary

with a story really

florida man arrested for reportedly


gator into wendy's i think i saw this

there's a video that goes along with

this right

um i don't know i just sent you the

original screenshot you know

oh i found it i probably did that

yeah well i probably didn't even look at

it yeah now in england tossing

something means a little bit different

than it does here

yeah because there's like you call

somebody a tosser yeah and it's

basically the same as wanker

which means what you remember those um

surgical gloves filled with that warm


right yeah it's along those lines yeah

self-growth parser you're a wanker

yeah so anyway florida man arrested for


tossing gator into wendy's he was


oh now it's susie not even a legend he

was arrested for throwing a live

alligator into a wendy's restaurant


through oh you didn't say it was alive

yeah well why would you throw a dead

alligator come on it's not pervert yeah

no that's true

hey that would be animal cruelty joshua

james was charged with

aggravated assault with a deadly weapon

illegally killing

possessing or capturing an alligator and


larsonry petty theft according to palm

beach sheriff's office

he has not been released on bail as of

monday afternoon

the incident occurred in october but

james had only been arrested

recently by u.s marshals is it illegal

to own an alligator

i think you just can't transfer

ownership of the alligator without

some pretty deep paperwork and that's

the lorry broke

transferring an exotic animal without a


you know so if you throw that alligator

into a window you're saying hey

it's yours now and that's illegal but

what if he was trying to

exchange the alligator for chicken

nuggets wait why would you get

wendy's there are chicken nuggets or

inferior well

i mean maybe the dude likes that maybe

he wanted a baked potato and chili

and he's like hey i don't have any money

so here's my alligator

what if the meal was actually for the

alligator he didn't want the alligator

to eat in a car because it's a messy

let's be honest and probably poops there

as well so he's throwing the alligator

in there yeah just let me eat his food

in there then pass him back

and then you can give me my food in a

bag but they probably freaked out

soon as they saw the alligator didn't

give him chance to explain himself and

or you know in this country you're

innocent until proven guilty yeah what

if the alligator

smelled the chicken nuggets and jumped


yeah jumped out of the car into wendy's

because he wanted some chicken nuggets


and now this poor guy that was just

trying to take his alligator for a car


is now been arrested it was three and a

half feet long so it wasn't even like a

super small

yeah that's a decent sized gator yeah i

mean not like the ones that you always

see on the news was like giant alligator

walks through the golf course or

whatever but

i mean three and a half foot long that's

a decent sized gator has anybody ever


an alligator at you pat or has one

wandered up upon the island that you

live upon

i have i have encountered alligators in

their natural habitat but yeah

i haven't had one thrust upon me by


person what about you have you ever been


either with or without human assistance

no i i'm

i'm basically in the same boat as pat


i have seen them in their natural

habitat and seen them at the zoo

yeah but i've never pet one no never had

one's thrust upon you

no but now i feel like i need to add

that to my bucket list that i want to

pet an alligator all right

um rainforest cafe right out front oh


yeah that's the uh animatronic one yeah

i feel bad for that alligator because

people throw money at it

like throw coins and he's just sitting

there trying to entertain

people right why why do people have to

be so cruel

he does it for the artistry he doesn't

do it for profit i wonder where all

those coins go

because the food there is so expensive

if they would just scrape all the coins

out of there they can knock everything

on the menu down like

two or three bucks here's a story again


not involving an alligator this time

florida nurse 55

chokes uber driver from behind and then

bites into his neck like a pit bull

in an unprovoked attack

i don't know if i buy unprovoked

thinking the same thing

yeah i think i think as we get deeper

into this story you're going to find out

why she did it

probably had the radio on the wrong

station true

probably especially in florida probably

didn't have the air conditioning on in

the car

well he's lucky that's all that happened


he's a photo of the alleged attack

yeah i thought i'd wait you to dug

yourselves in a hole first before i

provided the uh

photographic evidence he doesn't look

like he's really uh

the person initiating the assault does


well no i don't know what happened

before things

you said unprovoked there could be some

fighting words though

that he said something that provoked the

attack well let's see if we can learn


okay michelle stillwell a licensed nurse

in florida

allegedly strangled and bit an uber


during an unprovoked attack on saturday

the driver

michael hasey junior said she had fallen

asleep in his car

and then suddenly sprouted up and


he pulled over to escape that stillwell

allegedly bit into his neck and

continued the assault

until passerbys came to his rescue the

arresting officer mentioned in his

report that she was under the influence

of alcohol but did not elaborate okay

i'm gonna go with unprovoked

yeah or we're not getting all the story

right hassie pulled over and tried to

get away

but stillwell crawled forward into the

center console

and bit deeply into his neck and

scratched his chest

she continued to bite strangle and claw

at the victim

who was unable to defend himself

stillwell's neighbors told the florida

tv news station

that the attack was out of character for

their neighbor in

pinellas county sheriff's office report

the arresting officers checked a box

indicating she was under the influence

of alcohol okay

so the one thing that i get from this

about he's unable to defend himself

yeah i disagree with that because if

you've ever had a kid

in the back seat of the car and you keep

telling the kid

fasten your seatbelt fasten your

seatbelt and they don't want to put

their seatbelt on

they i know people do like what i do and

i just hit the brakes real quick and

then hit the gas and make them fly

around in the back seat and then they

put their seatbelt on

so we could have done that i mean he's

driving the car right he could have

swerved around

you know smacked her head against the

window or something like that we didn't

say she wasn't

you know i think until he parked it

doesn't say whether she was there well

but sleep off at that point well yeah

but the the parking part is where he

made the mistake

yeah i mean he could have just went nuts

started drifting and

you know doing donuts and all kinds of

stuff so she couldn't get to him

then the cops are gonna say hey that guy

might be drinking or something like that

let's pull him over

of course it's probably one of those

situations where it's like where's a cop

when you need a cop you know somebody

runs a red light next to you it's like

hey where's the cops at you know but

then you go five miles over the limit

and boom there you

got you i love how you've successfully

armchair quarterbacks

being bitten in the neck by a woman yup

in the back of the car

while you're trying to perform my public

service via uber

what about you pat do you think you'll

be able to fight off a woman biting your


in the car why would i want to is the

big question well

you saw the mark mate it's not playing


no i mean i know some people pay good

money for that but

apparently with uh look at that does

that look like the face of a man who's


no it does not but honestly he's an

awfully big guy he should have been able

to well

you'd think so he's got a terrible

tattoo yeah yeah it

really is a trophy yeah maybe that

played into the attack

so back to provoked yeah there you go

yeah yeah but that's just getting about

hurt and being a snowflake if you're

getting offended by that

no that's true yeah but we don't know

that the nurse wasn't a snowflake

that's true lots of unknowns in that

story yeah

i feel like there's that balance of

there's a lot more to

the story but i'm not interested enough

to read it

if they publish it true so the last one

for today

i'm a bit surprised that this didn't

work out but

it's entitled smile you're on jihadi


outcry in iraq over prank tv show that


fake isis fighters kidnap celebrities

strap suicide vest to them and tell them

they'll be executed

this sounds fantastic absolutely look

i'm gonna tune in

oh look you and i on this podcast have


for a long time about how lazy hollywood

has gotten right

there is some dude somewhere that is

creative and

i don't care if it's hbo netflix hulu


somebody needs to greenlight this show

right but you've also

said that we've always looked for ways

to make money but haven't followed

through with them we've kind of missed a

trick on this one that's true

yeah yeah how did we not come up with

this yeah

this is extremely creative yeah i mean i


like please do not disappoint me and say

this doesn't really exist

because i want to watch this right like

right now afterwards

maybe we could take the idea and kind of

rumble it here and either do kind of

like antifa kidnappings or

far-right white supremacist kidnappings

or something kind of

you know bring our own kind of little

bit of domestic terrorism into the

show and uh right and especially because

hollywood has also said that

because of all the covid stuff and

everything they haven't had enough to do

here we go i mean you could take some d

list celebrities right and yeah and put

them into this i mean they have

megan markel well she doesn't live in

the us anymore she does she lives in

california mate i thought you told me

she moved to canada

no i didn't tell you that why would i

tell you that i'd have been happy you'd

have remembered the connection

oh well maybe you said california and i

heard canada yeah

it's basically the same thing yeah so


before you give us a uh rundown on

whether you would watch this show let me

just tell you a little bit more about it

says the stars believed they were

visiting a displaced

family for a charity show but once


actors disguised as jihadists stormed

the home with gunfire

the celebrities were tied up blindfolded

and strapped to suicide vests

an actress in her 50s even passed out

with fear during the horrifying prank

isn't it about that and pat would you

watch that show absolutely

this sounds like the best episode of 24

i've ever seen

this sounds like the greatest show ever

made well yeah apparently it's got cut

off i wonder if there's a place on the

internet when you download it

my my my question is what do they do

this so you're sitting there with the

suicide vest on

now do they make you go commit a crime

in their you know oh

yeah like challenges well not like

survivor where it's like

oh you see where i'm going absolutely

if you're what needs to happen is that

they need to get

you know a plan in there somebody's

actually working with the show

pretending to be one of the people who's

been kidnapped

and they fake beat the crap out of them

and take them away in the next room and

you can hear them being tortured and he

comes back in with all this makeup

and then they just sit there for like a

day and a half without any food and

water you know just to make them

convinced it's real right and then i

don't know take

another one out kind of like hear lots

of screaming and that person

never comes back that makes sense yeah

kind of go that route

i mean if you're going to go all out go

all out though yeah i read some deal on

the internet and i got to be honest with

you i think this would be a

great idea for a tv show for a reality


so you take 12 men

you put them in a house and you say

that one of the men

is gay okay the other 11 are straight


the 11 men have to convince

everybody that they're gay and whoever

ends up at the very end wins the prize

right so these 11 straight guys are told

there's only one gay guy

in the entire house right they're trying

to figure out

who that is but at the same time they

have to pretend to be

gay and convince everybody else that

they're gay

but spoiler alert they're all straight

because i was gonna say

how do you win well it would be pretty

easy for the one gay person to do

something pretty quickly which would

prove is gay which would not be

acting if you were straight right but

that but the hitch in here is there

are no gay people in there right so this

is everyone else one off episode

is the contestants who have fooled no

because they they're sent home

you know just like the the typical show

where you got to send somebody home so

they're voting

on you know who they think is gay

right right so they have to basically be


gay on the show to get the votes and you

can't vote for yourself

and so the whole goal is to be the last


on the show right but the whole time

nobody's gay so you vote for the person

least likely to be gay

well no you're voting for who you think

is the person because you tell the

you tell everybody if you can figure out

who the gay person is

then you win but spoiler alert nobody's


but if you sent the gay person home on

week one the show would not

right be real interesting right but who

gets to decide and vote

about who they're accusing of being gay

or does everybody accuse somebody being

gay in which case they're all the ones


they're all got it wrong so surely

they'd all go home in the first episode

i don't know whoever wrote it on the

internet didn't think it all the way to

yeah i don't

no i think that the jihadist with the

suicide vest isn't better

so anyway let me just finish off with

the husband's show just in case we

decided we want to make a version of it

in one show comic actress nesma passed

out with fear after being fitted with a

fake suicide vest

and was only bought round when the

presenter poured water on her face

now again mr trick [ __ ] that water

should have been from waterboarding

right not to give the game away straight

away so in another episode

iraqi international footballer soccer


allah my wife probably didn't pronounce

that right but he's not listening

who has played 44 times for his country

was blindfolded and filmed begging for

his life

what looks like a close shave is in fact

a candid camera

style television show air in during the

muslim holy month of ramadan

that has tricking celebrities for laughs

to a new level

and it's causing a scandal in iraq along

with accusations of bad taste

okay so i'm going to guess because you

use the term

presenter that this is obviously a

european or a uk show because we always

call them

hosts in the u.s this is an english

oh well you didn't tell us that wow i

think it's in iraq so

clearly it's not an american show well

no i mean like

production based so i didn't get led to

believe it was an iraqi-based

show like iraqi producers and all that


that it was some other country that was

going over there to do it

so okay well we don't have a name for

the show

um that's unfortunate well it's probably

in arabic in it so even if it did have a

name for everyone about see where it is

yeah fantastic show would not want to be

a guest

star on that show true i i suggest pat

you be

very careful traveling i know you just

got back from india but i mean due to

your star

status you could end up on a show like

that because well the crazy thing is

so let's say you find yourself bugged

and strapped with a

suicide vest right how do you know if

it's real

or part of the show i would probably

take their word for it that it was real

i i would not want to go ahead and say

you know what there's a good chance this

suicide vest is fake

right so then you're okay with with

blubbering on the air and

perhaps soiling yourself for the

amusement of your countrymen you know

one of the hidden things in that article

is probably all those celebrities ended

up with a bunch of money like if they

would have completed the show they would

have ended up

money for charity and all that and now

all those charities just lost out

i mean we could have set that up for

charity for

surgical gloves for doctors so they

didn't have to go to home depot and buy

them anymore yeah but if you also

thought that the celebrities if they're


mainly actors and actresses might have

been in on the whole thing

right from the start and then just

acting being scared and being terrified

because sometimes

you know people's reactions to kind of

like fear isn't

something really erratic it might just

almost be like going catatonic or

being absolute compliant and there's no

interest in watching like hostages

sitting there not scared to say anything

because they all think it's real

i'm pretty sure they must have had some

plants in there we were

acting all kind of crazy and whacking

out because otherwise i've been born to


right so basically this news article

could just be

some pr for the show right i mean it

fooled us if it is

yeah if it's not then i'm going to be

disappointed we're not going to get to

see this show

right well with all that said thanks for

tuning in to this episode of the wolf

and the shepherd

pat from on an island with pat beeman

glad you could join us and we will catch


on the next one thanks for listening

to this episode of the wolf and the

shepherd podcast

if you like what you just heard we hope

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of the wolf and the shepherd


Pat Beaman

Podcast Host for On An Island with Pat Beaman