June 7, 2021

In Other News - June 7, 2021


The Wolf And The Shepherd sit down with Pat Beaman from On An Island to discuss more crazy news stories

Transcript

welcome to this episode of the wolf and

the shepherd today we have another

edition of in other news and once again

joining us

from on an island with pat beeman we

have pat beam and pat

glad you could once again join us for

another one of these

editions of the wolf and the shepherd

guys i'm always excited to be here with

you

i learned a lot uh we have a good time

yeah

so can you fill us in with is there

anything going on

with on an island i mean are you just

you know doing your normal stuff you you

want to report anything upcoming or

is everything just kind of going status

quo

well you know we don't really like to

talk about a lot that happens on the

show

in public yeah that's true yeah

that and and i probably shouldn't have

put you on the spot with that

but i i just wanted to offer you the

opportunity to

kind of publicize what you got going on

but i know everything kind of remains

private on your podcast so

just wanted to give you that opportunity

so thanks anyway yeah

absolutely yeah so where's our first

story at well i just wanted to mention

oh what a lot of people don't know i

mean i know pat's regular listens

listeners know but ours don't that pat

only actually owns a physical

island a small island it's only about an

acre and a half

but it's still a pretty and you can only

see it about eight months a year because

it gets submerged

almost another four months oh yeah

that's got to be expensive for you to

maintain

though we don't have to cut the grass

when it's submerged

well that's a good yeah that's a good

thing i mean i hate cutting the grass so

yeah good for you on that that was

that was planning ahead yeah right there

because there's actually a photo

of him standing on that island yeah yeah

yeah but

name it on his own island i think yeah

but but

we also know that pat told us we can't

share that picture

right yeah i mean i wish we could we've

seen the picture

but i wish i i really wish pat would

like to

put that on now on google earth as well

oh yeah

but i wish pap would let us share that

on the instagram account but

yeah one of these days maybe when we get

to his stature then

then maybe we can it's like a good

version of epstein island

yeah yeah yeah

well i don't know yeah we could go down

so many different rabbit trails on that

one so

so let's talk about some news stories

some news i've taken a break from

animals being ourselves to each other

and of course back to the humans being

ourselves too

okay good because i i don't want to go

down that route of

animals being bad yeah because then it

depresses me

humans being bad i'm okay with that but

animals being bad then i start getting

really depressed yeah i think it's just

lazy it's probably a lot easier to find

humans being [ __ ] story than animals

yeah

that's true right well the first one

involves a fight in a seafood restaurant

which

tends to happen more than you think i

see probably about once every couple of

weeks

some fights gone down in the long john

silvers or

wherever yeah there's been some fight

break out now i don't know what

inflames the passions because i can

understand when people got in fights you

remember when popeyes did the spicy

chicken burger

and they were running out people were

lining up and you'd be about 18 people

from the front and they'd run out and

people get frustrated and start beating

each other up you know it's a bit like

black friday but instead of beating each

other up for

large tvs they'd kick the crap out of

each other for a spicy chicken burger

right we had the spicy chicken at

popeyes for the first time

last uh friday way to oklahoma

yeah stopped at popeyes it's

unbelievable i understand the passion

yeah

it's a great great chicken sandwich yeah

got to be honest with you i liked it

so should we try to contact popeyes to

sponsor us

i mean is it that good of a sandwich i

don't know

that's mr beamon it is that good of a

sandwich yeah and that

you just gave me a great idea those you

know listeners to on an island may find

a new uh

a new sponsor but the point is we know

pat beeman we can't walk in a restaurant

and walk to the front of the line

that's true we're gonna have to kind of

put an order in like we're going to be

there

one minute before this restaurant opens

and we're going to buy a dozen

yes can get somebody else's order

cancelled just by walking to the front

and they can tell the person who's

already placed the order sorry we're out

no no bad counter we got somebody at the

back who didn't graduate third grade not

our fault

right but good for pat i mean yeah yeah

yeah so anyway the punch-up in the

seafood restaurant

um nothing out of the ordinary people

were throwing

chairs and napkin holders at each

other's heads a few people got stomped

on

which you know kind of sounds bad yeah

um and the only reason really i liked

this article

was the title of it it says they're

trying to krill

each other oh so we have another one

we have another one of those creative

journalists that have been waiting

for so long to be able to use that title

exactly and then he retires the next day

absolutely because we found there's a

whole legion of ex journalists

who had one article they became a

journalist for they just wanted the

chance to legitimately use this

one headline and then they were going to

end their career and become an

accountant or something right and this

was this dude's day yeah

that was that mic drop moment right yeah

yeah he tried to kind of like loosely

early on in his career kind of

incorporate it

into uh a feature on spongebob but

didn't have the same impact you're gonna

have a real story to

oh absolutely yeah so a video of a wild

brawl

between families inside a jackson

mississippi seafood restaurant

quickly went viral although i didn't see

it so i don't know how viral it went

they threw chairs silverware throw a

spoon at your head

yeah and napkin holders are each other

from across the restaurant

fistful kicked stomped and then ran when

the police were called

it's unclear what sparked the drama did

they

run out of food i mean you say that it's

unclear what sparked the drama but

but let's try to postulize what could

have sparked the drama well it says here

two

warring families so i don't know if

there's a history of beef between these

two families yeah like a hat filled and

mccoy

yeah so they started throwing insults at

each other like

oh your mother's too fat to eat fish or

your dad looks like a plankton that kind

of stuff

gotcha um it escalates quickly really

good yeah

yeah yeah i've doubt they were pg by the

time they

started stomping on each other yeah but

um yeah they were

also throwing glasses now unfortunately

you only get one glass

obviously with a meal unless you ordered

water and a soda so you've got to be a

pretty good shot you don't want to waste

your one glass because yeah being the

last person in dodgeball

you know you waste it you've got to be

pretty maybe i don't know

three four feet away well not only that

but it's kind of like fighting a war

with the musket

right i mean that first shot is what

matters then it takes you like 45

seconds to reload

right yeah um so yeah that was it i just

wanted to

use that line they're trying to krill

each other

each other yeah so creative yep do do we

know the name of the journalist

uh should we share that christopher

eberhart yeah well good for you

christopher

enjoy your retirement yeah i don't like

stereotype but

they had a couple of photos and it

looked exactly as i thought oh yeah

that's pretty much

exactly what i thought yeah yeah yeah

exactly so this next article also

fantastic headline but i'll actually cut

to the story part first

catholic school teacher is caught

snuggling into his wife's cleavage

after forgetting to turn off a zoom call

with students in colombia

okay so you're going to have to help me

here is my vote

and got caught mate well yeah but i

thought catholic school teachers were

either

priests or nuns so did the catholic

church

change and allow non-nuns non-priests to

all of a sudden start teaching school i

don't know this is also a physics

teacher i didn't know they taught

science either

i i didn't think so either maybe in the

movies

right you know good movies they're gonna

turn around and say hey

you know that father maris is sitting

here teaching physics

but i always thought it was nuns and

priests

that taught in catholic schools pat did

you go to catholic school

i did not go to catholic school i did go

to catholic church

ah my guess would be that the the nuns

and the priests handle most of the

lessons

physics they're probably bringing in an

outside expert yeah

that makes sense yeah right i'm trying

to figure out what he was smuggling into

his

wife's cleavage a kiss apparently he

kissed his wife on a titties

um and all the students saw it

so why would you do that in front of

your class

i don't know it kind of looks

middle-aged as well i thought you'd kind

of be off that type of thing once you've

been married to somebody for that long

as well

no i gotta disagree with you kissing

those babies

oh no but i gotta disagree with you on

that i i don't think i

if my wife actually had a job that i

would go

and do that because i know i can do it

at home right

well i'm assuming he was at home when

this happened i don't think

like oh you you said it was on a zoom

call

yeah oh okay yeah yeah that

kind of explains why his wife was there

as well actually he was at home

no that's true well physics teacher

reuben dario paris

says he didn't realize the camera was on

the kiss was broadcast to his class of

teenage catholic school students well i

guess at least it wasn't

kindergarten right one student is heard

say oh my god in a video of the zoom

accident now that might be good because

you know this catholic school

she might have just found god at that

moment that's true

enlightenment yeah that that might have

been the one part where they said you

know

now i understand why i'm in this

bass awkward school and that's what i

want

eventually well what i like is that

paradise has apologized for the offense

as the head teacher launches an

investigation now how long is this

investigation gonna be

well let's stop and think why is he

apologizing

i mean it is his wife it's not like it

was his mistress or girlfriend or

something it is his wife

i think it's the kiss in the tits bit

which is the sticky

bit i don't think their relationship i

mean what was on

like meaning where is this oh it's in

colombia does it get

oh colombia that's a completely

different country oh and

don't they have a lot of cocaine in

colombia yeah oh that's what he was

doing he was sniffing

i think we i think we figured this out

the reason for the investigation

has been determined yes it says he was

forced to apologize after inadvertently

sharing the moment with a class of 16

and 17 year old pupils who were likely

doing that in school ended anyway one of

the students

can be heard snickering as she watches

she then says oh my god and cringes as

the teacher canoodles with his wife

yeah but it's kind of sad when kids are

gonna

cringe that you know some dude

is actually being nice to his wife

yeah like why is that so bad that's what

i'm sitting here struggling with

is why is it so bad to say hey

you know this guy actually loves his

wife i don't know i'm going with your

coke theory

well yeah that makes more sense yeah and

even though it's a catholic school

these kids have not let us down because

some images were recorded

and they've gone viral on the web i love

so i will be looking those up and

bringing them in

now i did say there was a nice uh title

with this one as well this one oh that's

right

yeah you haven't even told us the

headline of this you just you told us

the story

and now now we're gonna get that this

one is called breasting class

ah i like it yeah and that was adam

barnett somebody else who will probably

not get a job

in mainstream media anywhere yeah but

the problem with old adam right there is

that didn't have that mic drop no kind

of

headline yeah i thought he'd been

waiting for that one his whole life

yeah probably not probably throw that

one off like a couple of times a week i

mean he probably just got called up from

the

obituary department and said hey we're

going to give you a chance

and that was his chance and now he's

right now but you've got an intern to do

the best

marriages this week you're on to bigger

things right

towards some bigger things there's some

tips yeah

exactly right all right what's the next

one next one

kansas law maker is arrested for knee in

student in the crotch

while working as a substitute teacher

and warning he would take the wrath of

god

out on the classmates there's a lot to

digest right there so

you have a kansas lawmaker so i'm gonna

take that as somebody from the

kansas senate or house of

representatives yeah state

representative

okay state representative but he has his

life so screwed up that he has to be a

substitute teacher

it was a it was a poor election i got to

think yeah absolutely

i mean do you really want

substitute teachers being in your

congress

in your law making facilities in

your state i mean that's scary he's only

36 as well

which surprises me because i understand

by the time you get in your 40s

the slightest little bit of irritation

can make you want to knee somebody in

the crotch but when you're in your 30s

you'd feel you'd still be in a little

bit of a happy zone you know so he's

probably got a lot going on in his

private life which has caused him to

take the wrath of god out yeah or maybe

he's funding

his mistresses apartment and everything

and he needs a part-time job

yeah but also you'd figure i'd get it if

you were a full-time teacher and this

was the same student who'd been pissing

you off for like about four years

but if you're a substitute teacher

surely you should be looking at your

watch being like all right another 38

minutes to go to put up with these bunch

of idiots and then i'm off

right i don't know what happens that you

just decide all right

it's it i know my career is over but i'm

gonna need this kid in the crotch and

then

threaten the rest of the uh classmates

with the wrath of god which i don't know

who he is yeah i haven't got into that

part of the story but

it sounds like he's got some pretty big

authority if he's able to call in that

type of backup

that is true yeah yeah but he does have

that

kind of congressional power behind it

right yeah you know he probably doesn't

make

that much money being a state

representative most state

representatives

don't make all that much money yeah but

they do have some benefits

right and so you would have to think

he's got a little bit of benefits behind

him well

i would have thought if the catholic

school teacher

couldn't get enough preferential

treatment from god

to stop his wife's tits going on the

internet this guy had no chance

the story was gonna break yeah it's

another one yeah

so here we go um there is apparently a

build-up to it he

didn't just you know go mma on them for

no reason

this is a kansas state representative

mark samsel

36 was arrested for allegedly even

though it's on video

attacking a student while working as a

substitute teacher well

you gotta admit at least this journalist

use the word

allegedly right they gotta protect

themselves right like you say even

though it's on video it's like

he allegedly did this even though you

can go and see it

they gotta use that word allegedly yeah

to make sure

what is it uh i can't even remember

the term that you can't inflame them

with that

all right yeah okay i know you mean yeah

the libel or slang

was written slammed

somebody's reputation isn't liable where

it can have um

it's the defamation of character which

can lead to like loss of business or

reputation

reputation that hurts business i don't i

can't remember that yeah

it's got to be one of those two yeah

yeah i think it's the

general playground rule of don't talk

crap about people yeah

right yeah snitches get stitches yeah or

a knee in the groin

right samsung samsel was caught on film

by students going on a religious

rant at wellsville school district

secondary school on wednesday

then on what wednesday he asked the

students if they had had sex

he spoke about suicide masturbation

and threatened to take the wrath of god

out on one student

parents allege sams will need one

student in crutch

just says in crutch not even in the

crotch and video footage taken

after the incident shows the teacher

standing over the prom school boy

he was arrested by franklin county

detectives and charged

so it sounds like the tape starts after

the

election yeah yeah so yeah you've just

got stano so i mean he could have been

rescuing the kid who had been needing

the

crutch by right now you know yeah that'd

be a setup

yeah that that would be terrible i

wonder what class he was teaching to

talk about sex suicide masturbation in

the bible

yeah music appreciation yeah that's what

i would go with

it sounds like the guy that used to uh

be at uta

on the library steps on free speech

tuesday

would talk about all those subjects and

how you're going to burn

in the fires of hail as he used to say

right now pat when you were in class

right did you have any teachers who were

a little bit highly strong or you could

see

visibly when they were kind of losing it

a little bit when they were getting

rattled by students no

uta back in the day you know they just

were catching the checks

right not you know they weren't putting

this was not a major university

there wasn't uh publish or parish or any

of that yeah because it was

quite a uh popular pastime in school in

school in england

that if you had a teacher who was a bit

loose

that you'd do your best the class would

do their best to kind of push them over

the edge not quite as far as the suicide

thing because you'd end up feeling bad

about that later on at some point

depends on the teacher yeah that's true

um but

yeah i mean we would deliberately try

and wind them up like crazy to try and

push them over the edge so they'd do

something and get mad and we were

successful a few times

you know but i can remember a teacher

where i went to school that i wish she

would have committed suicide

oh that's not a nice thing to say

if you would have known her you would

agree with me right

maybe well i don't know if

you know if you were sitting in this

class imagine you're sitting in this

guy's class right okay

and you hear this this is the way the

class was going at this point in time

another video from the same day

shows samsel asking students who likes

making babies

that feels good doesn't it he adds you

haven't masturbated

don't answer that question god already

knows samsung is seen in the video

showing close attention to one male

student following him around the

classroom and threatening him

at one point samsung tells a student

you're about

ready to anger me and get the wrath of

god do you believe me when i tell you

that god has been speaking to me

he then pushes him and the student runs

to the other side of the classroom

this was already getting a little bit

out of hand before the no do we know is

this the student who

ultimately ends up on the ground with

him standing over him i didn't say

sorry that's crazy it's probably a good

sign at that point he's lost it

i think that's mission successful

absolutely yeah

right they felt really good about

themselves until one of them got

caught in the nuts yeah yeah everybody's

got a plan until they get

yeah they do the balls yeah yeah

so um all right last one last one

all right now we've spoken a bit over

the last few months about council

culture

yes we had um you know pepe le pew let's

kind of have about two second silence

for our fallen brother yes who didn't

know he was

being rapey i know yeah

yeah we we respect you we respect you

even though you're french and you know

how i feel about the french

but i do like pepe le pew yeah

he's he's actually a perfect

representation of the french because

they stink

and they're always kind of rapey but i

still kind of have to

side with him that he is not trying to

do the wrong thing

right and he's also confused in the

cartoons because he's chasing after a

cat that has

paint on the back of the cat which also

explains the french because they don't

know what the hell they're looking at

well you see they smell so much garlic

they probably can't smell the paint and

they don't realize the skunk probably

didn't realize he smelled anyway because

he could probably just smell his own

breath the whole yeah and they haven't

bathed for a year right yeah

and they've lost every war in the last

100 years i mean it can't really be

helpful

exactly so next victim of cancer culture

snow white snow white yeah

like literally the disney princess you

know why yeah

okay wow with the seven midgets

yeah okay so revamped ride at disneyland

sparks backlash over true love's kiss

scene because she is asleep

and not able to give the prince consent

oh

i did not see that coming yeah that's

terrible

because apparently you've got to have

give consent you know for a kiss to

occur

so you're in this eternal sleep

yeah the only way you're gonna get out

of it

is the kiss from prince charming

but you have to give consent for that

well you see i don't like the double

standards because in the force awakens

ray kisses what's his face um

um on the mouth when he's in when he's

unconscious at the end of it

oh that's true yeah he didn't give his

consent yeah but it's all right because

well i i think that's kind of that like

you say double standard right where

they always talk about hey look at this

video

you know this girl goes over there and

grabs this guy's ass and

everything's funny and fine about that

but

if a guy did that then it would be all

over twitter

all over the internet he would get

cancelled everything's bad

yeah it that's kind of sad but i feel

bad

for the dwarves especially dopey because

dopey is sitting there saying i don't

understand any of this

i am just going down in the mine doing

my thing

and now all of a sudden i've got you

know

all of these people that are coming and

trying to interview me

saying did you see any of this coming

that

do you have a twitter account where

you're doing hashtag me too

or are you doing the right thing and

poor dopey's like

look literally my name is dopey i am so

dopey that they call me dopey i am not

stupid but isn't there one called like

sleepy or dozy or something sleepy yeah

but that he can relate to this yeah but

okay so we can't be

offensive to him because he has

narcolepsy right yeah i mean that

that is something that is actually

defined as a disease

right and the sad thing is then you have

one called doc

doc should have been able to cure sleepy

of his narcolepsy

but doc was a lazy [ __ ] well maybe he

was like

joe biden's wife and they was just a

doctor of english or something oh

i never even thought about that no

medical yeah

you really don't know where doc is

with why he's called doc yeah maybe he

just

sells some like illegal human trafficked

organs or something yeah

why they call him the dark that could be

and of course we know sneezy

is just snoring too much cocaine no no

it's too much cocaine that's why he's

got to be outside

he's allergic to cocaine oh yeah i

didn't know that right

so disneyland in california we opened so

so maybe

happy is the one snorting all the

cocaine yeah he's got the delta right

oh okay yeah whereas um the one who's

not in the coke is nasal cavity has

collapsed and so he's

right so so who are we leaving out um

probably about another four grumpy

probably grumpy

yeah okay grumpy is sitting there

looking at all this going on saying

this is all ridiculous oh he's just

sitting there in a chair with his arms

folded like

frowning being like i'll allow it yeah

yeah

all right i think that's six right no

that's five i think

is that five who are we missing so we we

have

dopey doc

sleepy sneezy grumpy

happy we're missing one who's the one

we're missing today

stupid are we missing stupid oh no wait

that's dopey yeah

all right bashful bashful bashful that's

it

he wouldn't have kissed him he'd have

been too shy well yeah

by definition yeah okay so anyway new

version of the ride

features true love's kiss scene of the

sleeping princess critics

hit out at the addition of the scene

saying it models bad behavior

prince kisses snow white while she's in

a cursed trance believing she is

dead so we get rid of the kind of

necrophilia type

part of the story believes it did he

really believe she was dead at the time

just thought of getting a

no i i thought it always was like a

trance deal i don't

think it was a death thing like this was

a resurrection

kind of deal what other critics have

previously criticized the scene in 1937

disney movie um

it undermines lessons about consent

the theme park in anaheim reopened on

friday

it's now going to have to re-go a

significant overhaul of the classic snow

white ride

wow so at the same time you know it

there was

what was it like five ten years ago when

they

went around with all the pictures of

walt disney

and photoshopped the cigarettes out of

his right hand

because they didn't want kids to see

walt disney smoking

right well if you want if you want this

from the critics side which

we don't care about sure the bunch of

woke idiots but anyway

a kiss he gives to her without consent

while she's asleep

cannot possibly be true love if only one

person knows it's happening noted

reviewers for the san francisco gate

which

must be some newspaper or something but

so if you kiss your wife while she's

asleep that can't be true love because

she didn't know it's happening then

apparently

haven't we already agreed that consent

in early disney movies is a major issue

that teaching kids that kiss him when it

hasn't been established if both parties

are willing to engage is not okay

it's hard to understand why disneyland

of 2021

would choose to add a scene with such

old-fashioned ideas of what a man is

allowed to do to a woman

especially given the company's current

emphasis on removing

problematic scenes from rides like

jungle cruise

and splash mountain i'm pretty sure

bambi didn't give

her consent for her mother getting

murdered by a hunter

yeah that's a little bit different

though how so

well i don't think she knows that it was

just she couldn't have brought charges

well maybe she did though now you're

pre-supposing that bambi

didn't have didn't baby turn out to be a

boy though i thought bambi was a girl i

thought

did it not turn out to be a boy because

i thought no i thought at the end of the

movie yeah

he had like a girlfriend and stuff and

like kids of his own

i mean it sounds like a bit of a i

thought big feminist name

i mean it's normally like strippers and

stuff nowadays right

yeah i thought bambi was a girl not a

boy maybe if any of our listeners can

uh maybe you had a different version

correct okay

correct us about this well might yeah

maybe

yeah because everything was always

different over there right

yeah so okay yeah that makes sense

well once again uh pat beeman from on an

island with pat beeman glad you could

join us for another episode of

in other news and we certainly

appreciate the support

and that will do it for this episode of

the wolf and the shepherd and we will

catch you on the next one

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[Music]

 

Pat Beaman

Podcast Host for On An Island with Pat Beaman