In Other News - August 18, 2021

welcome to this episode of the wolf and

the shepherd today we have another

episode of in other news and

we're kind of going back old school

because we're not doing this on camera

we have to protect

our

regular recurring guests identity pat

beeman from on an island with pat beeman

and the only way pap would come back on

the show once he found out that we were

filming everything he's he said look

with my podcast i can't be on camera

due to contractual obligations and

everything and so we said no no that's

fine we we love having you on the show

so uh these

you know the in other news are gonna

continue to be audio only well there's a

whole wealth of security issues as well

well

yeah

look

pat

first of all we certainly appreciate you

coming back but

your security people were kind of a pain

in the ass to us

i mean they

they were kind of a pain but we will put

up with that i mean we love having you

on the show but i mean

you've got some

like

above secret service level kind of

security people i mean they're they're

very just adamant about

you know your requirements

well i appreciate the accommodation i do

enjoy being on the show

you know lawyers contractual

responsibilities

everybody has a say in it um you know i

can't tell you that most of our guys

were former secret service or sure you

know

as assad but you probably figured that

out by now right right yeah but hey i'm

i'm glad we can

kind of go back to the old school every

once in a while and just do the audio

only and do some of these in other news

and i know it's been a while so pat glad

to have you back

wolf

do we have a news story we're gonna read

yeah before the show started you said

going back to audio only was like going

back in a time machine yes and

really it's only been like about two

weeks since we did audio only so i was

just thinking what crap use of a time

machine

well got all that power and we've gone

back to two weeks ago where we do audio

only that's gonna be it is it yeah but

that sounds about like what we would do

do you know how rich you could be though

if you could just go back two weeks oh

yeah even two days right just any sports

result absolutely yeah i mean the whole

back to the future maybe back to the

future part two all you need is that

sports almanac would probably still get

the result wrong or something but yeah

yeah we'd filled the lotto ticket out

wrong and we'd miss a number yeah

well i've got some pretty uplifting

stories today uh some relationship

stories where people have

you know made that fatal error in a

relationship

starting one where they decide to get

married um

yeah a few bad relationship stories uh

got some racist counting going on

um and somebody decided to perform an

exorcism at home depot so

this sounds like a great day yeah yeah

and that's all one story

so um

start off

first of all well now i'm gonna let you

go because i i i thought about a comment

about home depot because i took my wife

furniture shopping over the weekend

and

when you see some stuff on like social

media or whatever for like home depot

and lowe's and all that

there were toilets

sitting in these this furniture store we

went in in grapevine

and i thought i wonder if somebody's

ever you know

sat down on this toilet sitting in the

hallway which obviously wasn't in a

bathroom it was hey you should buy this

toilet

if anybody's ever tried to use it

because there was no sign and you

thought with your wife being mexican

there's a 50-50 chart she might try and

probably message him

exactly

features yeah um

there has been stories i mean i think

they put signs up in some stores do not

use the toilet right you know

yeah

just in case just in case just in case

you're on that level of thinking that i

would think that's your

yeah foreign

toilet in the middle of a store in front

of everybody which is right convenience

to take crap

exactly

so the first story another one of those

stories where i think the writer

has lived for this moment to try and get

the head i love these yes

absolutely he's retired the moment he's

written this article thrown his pen down

saying this didn't bring in any money

anyway he's just waiting for paper yeah

he's waiting for his pulitzer prize

because he wrote this article here we go

i'm going to read the headline minus the

intro three words then i'm gonna give

his

and i'm gonna give his little line okay

bridy wants to hire a peacock

to walk down the aisle with her

is warned it'll be like unleashing angry

murder chickens and guests will be

massacred

very long headline yeah but but his his

brilliance came at the beginning

his introduction was a foul idea oh

oh doing a little

pile

yeah

dropping pen walks away from his desk

that's it yeah but angry murder chickens

yeah

i want one of those yeah well you can go

down mexico and get them

oh like the fights yeah the fighting

chickens oh okay yeah angry muddy

chickens yeah

i think that's just a a new fancy term

for these

chickens well i don't know about you i'd

like an invite to this wedding

if she's gonna hire a peacock to walk

down the aisle with it's possibly

just occurring

right but does the peacock get the money

or does the owner of the peacock get the

money and can you peacock what do you

mean what money oh if you hire one yeah

you you just said we're going to hire

this peacock or they're they're going to

hire this people that's probably got an

agent if he's a professional right so i

wonder how much it costs to hire a

peacock i mean outside the one from nbc

right because that peacock's got to be

really rich yeah

and they just use an image if that one

yeah

well i think he died a long time ago

so i know he played this one yeah but he

played the xylophone did he yeah yeah

the peacock from nbc played the

xylophone that's why you always hear

that boom bam bam no

really yes

i'll listen out for that next time yeah

do you know the notes for that is g-e-c

no yeah so your music fanatics out there

the notes for nbc when it goes bing bing

bing it's actually g e c

because general electric owns n b c

and g e c is general electric

corporation and that's why those notes

are played you should save that story

for the next part a year out in case the

conversation gets a bit of a lull and so

you can get to set the room on fire with

that

factoid there

so uh a bride believed to be from the

u.s so i see they've done their research

here was looking to rent a peacock for a

wedding wanted animal just like that

just a salad descending stuff it's

wanted animal comma known for pretty

feathers comma to walk down the aisle at

ceremony

he's paying palette here didn't know the

name of the peacock apparently others

said peacocks were too aggressive loud

and messy for a wedding added the

bride's ceremony would be mayhem if she

went through the

through with the idea wait

peacocks are messy

were they yeah like swans they poop all

over the place when they get i got

excited yeah but i thought all birds did

that no i don't think so well i know

ducks do right yeah i get excited i

don't think

well no ducks just do it whenever they

want to do it and they can't even

control it they just go ahead and poop

because they got to poop right

my sister learned in seventh grade that

birds don't have bladders

that's the reason that the pop poop

comes everywhere yeah i know i mean poop

doesn't come out your bladder though

no in birds it does does it you sure

about that one the bladder the blood

contains the poop in a bird no there is

no blood there's no color there's no

there's no bladder yeah they only have

one

system right so they don't pee then no

no they don't pee

that's why the poop is all watery all

the time and they can't control it

you know when we had our duck that was

the problem with the duck it'd just be

walking around and you'd

you know say hey ruby come here and she

would come walking up to you and you

know five steps in would just poop right

behind her so that rude joke i told my

mum when i was about 13 isn't true then

because she asked or made a comment

about i wonder why they call it a

peacock and i said because it pees out

of it

so that wasn't true yeah i know that

wasn't true oh well living learners

a friend of the bride believed to be

from the us

took to facebook for recommendations on

how to rent the bird ahead of the

nuptials their request was shared on

that's it i'm wedding shaming

facebook group where many said peacocks

were aggressive animals that can break

your nose and poop everywhere oh i think

we need to stop right here what facebook

group i think we need to join facebook

group i'm wedding shaming wedding

shaming facebook group it's called

that's it i'm wedding shaming oh wow

we're gonna get on there yeah we we're

doing that after we finish recording i i

have to see some of this well here's

some of the helpful tips which people

wrote on the group after she put on this

request it says uh

because who doesn't want their wedding

vows drowned out by the screams of a

giant angry folding fan

one said another one said this person

has never actually met a peacock which

is probably pretty accurate because i

don't have i've never met one yeah

peacocks are crackheads in fancy

clothing they are not to be trusted okay

that's a little mean

peacocks are bad mother

lovers and will

f all your s up then poop everywhere go

for it

if you want

if you can't afford a peacock but want

the same end result rent a flock of

angry geese

so oh i'm gonna hard pass on a

decorative murder chicken that said it

would be a great drinking game drink

every time a person screams

it's amazing how many people are experts

in peacocks on this side well they wait

in the wings though like they look for

the hashtag this was probably hashtag

hashtag peacock and there's people who

just sit there and they're like at last

now i can give all of my information

about peacocks we've been on this

wedding site now for four months just

waiting for someone to hashtag people

now uh pat let me ask you this i know

you know

you had uh one of your children just got

married recently

don't want to release the name or

anything but i do but

did you ever consider

hiring a peacock for that wedding

i did not know fortunately i wasn't that

involved in the wedding uh um i

as you can imagine i did what i was

doing well where i was told sure but of

course uh i guess we need to let this

out it was your son so it's more you

know the

the bride in the bride's family that

makes all the plans but you never at one

point said hey

look here's what i want i want a peacock

at the wedding

no i i didn't say that but i do wish i

would have had those fighting chickens

yes that would have been fun yeah i mean

that would have decide people could you

know add some box yeah add some

entertainment at the end i mean you have

the chicken dance that sucks

and then you know you could support the

open bar with

betting on the fighting chickens

yeah maybe at the end i'm pretty sure

what's my bulls fighting just to kind of

like liven it up as the bar runs out i

know i've been to weddings with my

wife's family

you know it down south texas where

they've actually had the fighting

chickens as part of the reception and

you bet on that but i think that's

pretty much just

a south texas tradition

oh well well here's another

relationship story but this woman is

being a little bit spiteful

woman buys a revenge necklace for a

boyfriend

engraved with the names of the three

women

he was cheating on her with her best

more than that and plans to give it to

him on their anniversary in front of his

family

so she hasn't broken up with him yet no

she's playing the long game yeah

you gotta admire the patience yeah women

are a little bit normally renowned for

that right they find out being

infidelity it's normally she like

yeah

yeah one

scratches his car sure once they find

out about it they just want to throw it

all out there and put the cards on the

table right yeah

so you've got to appreciate the patience

there yeah for the benefit of our

listening audience i'm going to show

pat a picture of this woman she does

look like you should not be messing with

her because she will mesh yeah she will

mess you up she will mess you up oh

yeah yeah somebody's going to get a

shank in not just she looks like she

could probably win the power lifting

competition in the olympics

that's going to be awesome jewellery

maker liv portillo oh so she even makes

jewelry so that's convenient that

probably explains the revenge oh she

also was

expensive at least that was right

yeah you can put all that in cost of

goods

yeah

oh no no hold up

jewelry maker liv portillo who is not

the person involved in the story

claims an unnamed woman ordered the

engraved piece for cheating boyfriend

well did was that picture the jewelry

maker or was that the unnamed woman um

you know that i do not know at the

moment

there's so it sounds like an

advertisement for the jewelry lady if

they've put a photo of her in her name

because even though look makes me if i

walk in that store i'm not leaving

empty-handed because otherwise she'll

beat the crap about me she's trying to

break into uh revenge jewelry revenge

jewelry yeah there should be a category

on ebay absolutely yeah well yeah maybe

she needs to

go ahead and register revenge

jewelry.com yeah is that a website i

don't know kiss my ass

hang on now i gotta get my phone is

revenge jewelry.com available i mean

yeah maybe we're gonna buy that right

now hang on

get the ru address

anyway i mean revenge jewelry.com i mean

think about the money-making opportunity

you would have with that right

all right here we go you wonder how long

she's planning on staying with the man

until her big reveal well the jewelry

maker shared a tick tock video of the

piece which she claimed had been ordered

by an unnamed woman

the gold necklace features the date of

the couple's anniversary 21st of june

2015. oh dang

on the front and the three names on the

back ashley genesis

and karen

wow oh there's a grouping yeah well i

mean the problem they're putting genesis

when you have that depending what date

she puts what full match puts the date

in somebody's probably just going to

think it's going to be an inspirational

verse so here's what's crazy so i i

typed in revenge jewelry into google and

there's all kinds of stuff in google

i mean there's an instagram page for

revenge jewelry

oh that this is amazing

as well as the necklace the shopper

ordered some pieces for herself

including a crystal bracelet intended to

remove negativity

wow you've got me going down a rabbit

hole right now with this revenge jewelry

i'll be honest with you to me though the

biggest thing here is some guy cheated

with two women three one well one named

karen and one named genesis that seems

like the the polar opposite ends of the

earth to me right yeah oh so uh revenge

jewelry.com is for sale right now all

right

how much four thousand dollars

someone else thought it was good four

thousand dollars to buy revenge

jewelry.com see what the ru is

if we could buy the russian version

who in the hell would want to go on the

russian version well they might want

extreme revenge jewel well yeah but i

don't even want to type that in my phone

because i don't want to get those weird

ads that you always get on your phone

you say get so not only do you get

jewelry

you send somebody around and they get a

good beat in as well yeah or nuclear

weapons and submarines yeah

so

here's another love story which has kind

of gone south

english teacher 32

is charged with sexually assaulting a

male student 16 while on spring break

and throwing scissors at his head

because he was sitting next to his

girlfriend now again for the benefit of

our listening audience this woman does

have the look of a woman who would throw

scissors at your head

i'll be honest with you generally when i

hear a story like this i'm i'm on the

guy's side because you know hell yeah

right in this case

maybe he could have done better

she does look like she's had some

bathtub meth yes at some point yeah she

does look like somebody from florida

who has right well i'll read this

i'll read more of the story right

katrina maxwell

charged with two counts of sexual

assault of a child she was an english

teacher at

some high school its name is too long i

can't be bothered to say although if i

had said it would be shorter than what

i've just said in houston

she allegedly admitted to having sex

with a 16 year old male student in the

back seat of her car between march and

april what comes between march and april

obviously this kid in the backseat of

the car but i mean what right between

march and april yeah

i think that's it

maxwell's colleague claimed to have

witnessed her throw a pair of scissors

at the victim's head

because he sat next to his girlfriend

maxwell allegedly claimed she loved the

teen

she also complained she would now be

known as the teacher who effed her

student well i mean i think that's a

given yeah but there's no comes with the

territory yeah but there's a lot of

teachers nowadays yeah i mean i i've

seen those memes like on uh you know

nine gag or facebook or whatever

that

i think we can all agree

you know we're all pretty close in age

you think about the teachers that you

had in school versus the teachers that

are in school now and you're like

what happened like how did we miss out

on these teachers i mean i think we

talked about this on a prior podcast

about you know who was your favorite

teacher and why and we both

said hey here's our favorite teacher and

here's why yeah

but

now i i look at these kids and i'm like

look at this teacher i mean this is

amazing all my teachers for the most

part

99.5

percent of them

look like

sylvester stallone well right

but

now

some of these teachers are kind of hot

well one of my favorite memories when

people ask me you know what was your

greatest childhood

memory

i say i think at 13 years old was

accidentally touching my home economic

teacher's boob while she was going down

the register i was leaning over to kind

of like that book and my elbow

accidentally touched a boob and

yeah it's one of my favorite moments

yeah and and that gave you like two

weeks of just fantastic exact memories i

was anti-social for a couple of weeks

there yeah my time absolutely i mean it

nowadays

you look at some of these teachers and

you're like

wow you know and and then you look at

your kids and you're like you don't

realize how good you have this

you really don't realize how good you

have this yeah and we just want to say

we're not in favor of female teachers

right in their male students no but

sitting in school it did give you

something nice to look at if the female

teacher was somewhat attractive and plus

given we were crap with girls when we

were younger it was actually a female he

would speak to you even if she was

telling it to shut up or why did you get

any more she she was getting paid for

that similar to a prostitute or a

stripper yeah plus we plus i learned

about home economics i mean yeah tootha

there you go

all right

so moving on

math is racist we knew this

educators condemn one man wait stop math

is racist that's the headline of the

story math is racist

yeah wow okay counting and stuff carry

on yeah educators condemn one million

dollar plan dismantling racism in

mathematics program funded by bill gates

because he's trying real hard to slip

even further down the popularity list

which tells teachers

not to push students to find the correct

answer because it promotes white

supremacy

now there's a few assumptions there i'm

i'm

so confused about this article right now

yeah

i mean you've been dismantling white

supremacy by being crap at math for like

30 years yeah

i mean i i've got to use a

calculator to do simple addition yeah

and

now all of a sudden if i can do math

well i'm a racist

well expecting the correct answers is

racist because it promotes white

supremacy why wasn't this around when i

was in school when you were struggling

with math yeah yeah i mean i could have

got a's in all of my math classes

because i could have just put the wrong

answer and said well if i put the right

answer this is racist so you got to give

me an a wow but it sounds like it's only

racist if you expect it from the white

students yeah if you expect it from a

non-white student

then that's not racist is that what

we're trying to say well i don't know

how hard to push next i've gone through

the article yet i don't think if like

the teacher asks a question you haven't

gone through the article yet at all no

did you just do the headlines i see yeah

oh so maybe maybe we need some more

information before we start making cases

like the teacher says all right what's

five times seven little jimmy puts his

hand up and says 35 she doesn't go over

there and put a kkk hat on his head i

don't think it's gone that far yet

it's but it could it could

it centers around a workbook which

asserts that asking students to find the

correct answer for math problems

problems is inherently harmful for

minorities

so far the workbook is being used by

school districts in georgia ohio and is

the shock to inclusions california and

oregon

critics say it actually reinforces

negative stereotypes and drives wedgies

between students according to their race

the workbook's ultimate message is clear

black kids are bad at math

so why don't we just excuse them from

really learning it yeah but i mean when

you say something like black kids are

bad at math that's extremely racist it

is yeah yeah i mean that's blatantly

racist but

taking that part out of it just saying

if you get a problem in math right and

that's racist that i'm not following

here yeah i don't think black people are

bad at math i mean they're crap crap at

ice skating but

well i think math was really you know

what i think what was it uh chris rock

had

a a deal on one of his uh stand-ups a

long time ago where he said you know how

many

black people were so great at sports and

he said and as long as they invent a

heated hockey rink we'll take that over

too because you know they don't want to

be cold

i get it i don't want to be cold that's

why i live in texas

i mean it sucked in february when we had

snowmageddon and we were sitting here

like that this sucks like all this snow

sucks that's why the smart people

moved from the coast over on the east

and came over here where it was warmer

because we don't like the cold

a good american doesn't like the cold

that's why i hate canadians because they

love the cold

but they're very good at ice skating

they are good at ice skating yeah

instead of those little baby booties

they get little ice skates given to them

when they're pinned

well i i guess that's good for the

canadian babies because what else are

you gonna do with them

yeah

so

do you eat a subway paddle oh yes yeah

oh yeah i'll use

every six to eight weeks you're gonna

love this article um

lab analysis of subways tuna sandwiches

fails to identify tuna dna for the

second time

just months after class action lawsuit

claims franchise is misrepresenting fish

i'd like a good subway sandwich yeah

but i only like the meatball sandwich

and here's why because

you know i don't eat vegetables right

so if you're gonna get like a ham and

cheese sandwich right at subway

it's all about

the toppings you know all the vegetables

that you throw in there and make the

sandwich really good

i don't want any vegetables in my

sandwich

so the only way

i

believe i get my money's worth out of a

sandwich at subway is the meatball

sandwich you're not even that keen on

the bread though i don't know why you

just don't buy a can of meatballs

that would be smarter yeah it would be

smart i wouldn't especially one with a

peel back lid so you don't even have to

carry one of those can openers around

with you that's true that's true yeah

pat what's your favorite subway sandwich

uh whichever one is on sale generally oh

cold cut combo spicy italian those are

kind of my go-to's now

you're right

the point of going to subway

is to load on the veggies you know the

lettuce tomato onion peppers

spinach

right and and so you

gotta like all that stuff to make it

worthwhile it's the only reason really

to go yeah it really is otherwise it's

just cold cuts yeah but then

i see what you're saying

on the base of the sandwich

if

the tuna isn't really tuna

what is it well the lab that tested the

subway tuna sandwiches found no

amplification products from the dna i

don't know what that means

and so they cannot identify the species

revolt reports results of the analysis

come months after a class action lawsuit

was filed against the fast food

franchise alleging

misrepresentation of the fish in their

sandwiches

now not since spongebob became a lawyer

has it been such a misrepresentation of

fish

so

have you ever had pat have you ever had

a

tuna sandwich from subway no i don't

know why anyone would ever order that

but okay now it you you admitted

you like subway sandwiches so please

try to prove this to me

there was a crab sandwich right

was there not some kind of a crab

deal where where they said imitation

crab almost everything says imitation

correct yeah because crap real crap

meat's pretty expensive because right

get much out okay so so you have this

imitation crab

is it imitation tuna then with subway

and they're trying to pass it off as

real tuna and how do you imitate

these sea creatures well i don't know

but the point is i mean crab meat it's

pretty expensive so this is people not

using real crabby but real tuna's not

that expensive is it

no

no it's not i mean you can get it in the

cans at the grocery store for like 75

cents the analysis was led by the new

york times which

obviously doesn't have anything better

to do

which acquired more than five feet of

tuna sandwiches

from the fast food franchise which if

you're racist you can work out outside

the ten six inches or five foot long sam

user yeah but shouldn't that have been a

red flag like who orders five feet worth

of tuna sandwiches

maybe the people testing the tuna

sandwiches they want a robust sample

well yeah it's them but

shouldn't the guy you know sitting there

saying that you know i'm making

whatever it is eight bucks an hour

working at subway no one orders five

feet worth of

tuna sandwiches here

i think they went to different stores

yeah i could have done that

maybe they were smart enough to do that

well the people who found it they're

suing for fraud intentional

misrepresentation

unjust enrichment and other civil

violations

other civil violations i'd love to know

what those are derrick shovo didn't get

hit with as many charges as that did he

no

that's ridiculous yeah so the new york

times sent more than 16 inches worth of

tuna sandwiches to a lab

they were ordered without cheese or

vegetables to avoid contaminating the

test because we know how positive they

normally test for tuna in tests

the lab conducted a 500 pcr test to

determine if the subway tuna was one of

five different species

they found no amplification products

cannot identify it hinted at two

possible conclusions

one it's so heavily processed that

whatever we could pull out we couldn't

make an identification

or we got something and there's no tuna

in there so there we go

wow or it could be a new

sixth

version of tuna

we only apparently know a five

so

so what maybe there's a six it's so

of fish that can be considered tuna or

they only checked for five then

somewhere states they sell skip jack and

yellow fin tuna which a lab will know as

katsu wellness palamus

it's gone too far there they couldn't

tell it was tuna

but we need to clarify

they're not looking for the delta

variant of tuna no which is just as well

because

nobody can tell what the delta variant

of anything is because there are no

tests yeah apparently

but

we also want to make sure that we're

clear

we love delta airlines even though we

don't apply delta airlines i don't like

delta

i don't really don't expect luggage to

arrive airlines delta airlines pat do

you ever fly delta airlines i have flown

delta a couple of times my sister

is a flight attendant for delta is she

really be careful with what you say yeah

yeah always flies first class so it's

not really a

well that or when he

is private

you know

let's be honest pad and and we don't

like to leak this out but when's the

last time you were actually on a real

commercial flight

it's been a while right yeah i mean

you're always flying private yeah i mean

i

we do get around sure a variety of

transportation modes let's just say that

yeah okay well anyway i'm sure you want

to know subway's official excuse for it

yes the subway does not comment on where

they get their tuna from but a

california store manager revealed the

tuner comes in a case and inside the

case there are six aluminum pouches and

it's just like a pressed vacuum sealed

slab of tuna she described it as flaky

and clearly soaked in water when it

arrives before it's spread out and mixed

with mayo so there we go then they got

their experts i mean

yeah but that's exactly how it shows up

when you buy from the grocery store

i would think for sure that it went to

every store

premixed i'm shocked that they mix their

tuna right in the location

yeah i agree i to me

makes it a lot fresher yes you know it's

a fish product with mayonnaise mixed in

a store not in a warehouse right

right i want to move on to this next

story because it's got another great

line and probably another retired

journalist

after he wrote this oh is this another

mic drop moment yes

yeah here we go

cops are called to break up a disorderly

exorcism of dead trees

in the lumber aisle of home depot in

pennsylvania

any guesses on the uh snappy headline

no i've got nothing yeah i got nothing

barking mad

[Music]

he could have done better but

i don't think these opportunities

present themselves that often so

we have a group of individuals

that have shown up to a home depot

well i might be it might just be one

person okay i'm fair enough no fair

enough okay so we have one or more

individuals

that have shown up to a home depot to

do an exorcism on lumber yep

yeah

wow yeah well actually it does say

people so there was more than one

although

it might just be one person

and his pronouns is people just like i

told my girlfriend from now on my

pronouns it's just gonna be them no he

his him

it just them no sir no nothing them i

have to be referred to them all the time

what about they

no just them

day is good and i like they better than

i also keep it up when i talk about

myself as well so i'm just like

them going to get a drink

no that makes sense would you like them

to fetch you something

do you ever say

them isn't doing anything today them is

going to play the xbox yeah them

is is going to play the xbox all day

so leave them alone i feel if i confuse

her enough she'll just leave me alone so

then i have the peace and quiet go and

play the xbox right

so the dixon city police department

disclosed the bizarre incident in a

facebook post detailing the 911 calls it

had received on monday afternoon

the description for a call at 3 26 p.m

read disorderly people having an

exorcism in the lumber isle for dead

trees

they were escorted out of the building

a dixon city police officer said it was

a seance type of thing for the dead

there were two people hanging out in the

lumber department doing their little

exorcism thing i think he's been letting

their next cause a little bit you never

know when you're gonna need one so i

think you need to keep these people on

the right side of you

um

right where oh yeah some people at the

store started picking up that something

was happening that was not necessarily

normal

police were called to the store and they

were escorted out the building the

officers said neither of the individuals

involved will face charges

sometimes i think the two by fours in my

garage are possessed wrote somebody

mockingly waiting shouldn't have put his

name to that that was crap louis

scaletto mate you need to come up with

better comments that's crap yeah best

time for you to delete that right now

may the price of plywood come down the

name of christ compels you that's a

little bit more inventive that's pretty

good

i mean i i know a lot of people in the

plywood business that they would

probably

love to have a priest come in and

somehow exercise the

amount of money people are paying for

building materials we're not going to

talk about dead stock on this podcast oh

no sticky

sticky sticky

let's not do that yeah so i did want to

finish with this story because it's a

pet story

pet story yeah we're good with pet

stores we haven't had an animal in this

entire yeah seriously and this one's not

yeah no we have we had the peacock

that's more about the woman who wanted a

peacock than the actual peacock being

the

i wouldn't mind having a pet peacock

them wouldn't mind having a peacock

either yeah yeah i don't know if you've

heard but peacocks are nasty it's like

having a murderous chicken yeah right

yeah then they poop everywhere

yeah

so this this is an okay story because

the animal is already dead this time so

normally we talk about

a little bit of sadness in animal

stories but this one's already brown

bread so

art teacher accidentally creates

frankenstein's cat

after trying out taxidermy for the first

time on a deceased tabby cat

leaving it with a terrifying grin

and a body like a hot dog well

okay so listening viewers yeah

so let's go

yeah so let's go ahead and

oh wow

that is awesome we might have to put

this one on our face but yeah no we're

we're gonna have to put that on close in

with it

oh wow explosion with it over his

shoulder

so

so the cat was dead yeah and she thought

i'm gonna go ahead and electrocute it oh

my god

so we've got to put that on our facebook

yeah you're gonna have to send me those

so jennifer clark from citrus county in

florida oh there you go first floor to

mention now now

now it's starting to make sense decided

to try taxidermy on a tabby cat she

found dead by the roadside

wow

however

her attempts at preserving the cat's

body delivered alarming results

obviously animal was left with large

black mouth elongated body she kept the

cat keeping it on her front window

silver florida home

jennifer has named the cat oscar after

us hot dog firm oscar maya because of

the body's bizarre length

i need to know about a person who picks

up dead animals on the side of the road

and attempts at home taxidermy yes well

here we go so jennifer clark from citrus

county told people on social media

that she had wanted to step up her art

skills she's actually an arts teacher

of course when she bought a tabby what

bought

oh brought as in oh brought to herself

as such when she bought a tabby she

found dead at the roadside home to work

on but the month-long process

became more complicated than she first

anticipated where'd she get this guy

from youtube

and she you know you're struggling

reading

ended up with a kind of shocking exhibit

you might find in a bad taxidermy museum

wow

oh we're definitely putting these

pictures up on our instagram and then

will you stop showing me all these

pictures oscar needs to be our mascot

yes yeah

i died in florida you know what i got

this lousy

taxidermy i don't know

i feel bad

for oscar's owners if they ever stumble

across those pictures

yeah

or a four-year-old girl or something

like that

yeah that that poor cat is

wow

i'm i'm speechless because i'm trying

not to laugh too much but that is

got to be one of the worst looking cats

i think i've ever seen

and the fact that she went through the

taxidermy to go ahead and say hey look

at this and took the pictures well i

can't believe it took her a month how

does it take you much because i mean

what have you oh you can't do that

overnight well i mean yeah but um

considering it's dead

right you're thinking like dehydrating

it okay

and cutting it open and then just

stuffing some stuff in there to fill it

out yeah the styrofoam and all the crap

that they put in there i mean what it i

mean because if the body was already i

mean what did it die of did it die in a

warner brothers cartoon accident because

why is it that long you can't have a two

foot long cat yeah that is the most

ridiculous looking cat i think i've ever

seen i've been tied to like absolutely

tree or something no i totally love that

that actually is the best kind of cat

though

well

a dead stuffed dead and long dead and

long and stuffed

so you don't have to feed it

and obviously

that cat should have its own instagram

account i can't believe she kept it on a

windowsill on a front window

well it depends on what part of florida

she was in because i could see the heat

kind of screwing up the glue and

everything from the taxidermy well

judging by that she might as well just

use a stapler

now that's probably true

and with all that said thanks for tuning

in to this episode of the wolf and the

shepherd and we will catch you on the

next one

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