April 30, 2021

In Other News - April 30, 2021


Can you actually make a women look less sexy in a nun outfit? Do alligators speak snake languages? Is there a possibility of a Harry Potter and Lord Of The Rings crossover? Giraffes have arthritis and there are women on onlyfans.com who make millions making men feel bad.

Transcript

welcome to this episode of the wolf and

the shepherd today we have another

installment of in other news and of

course joining us

once again thank you so much pat memen

the

host of on an island with pat beeman the

one and only pat beeman

shepard wolf it's good to be here as

always yeah this week i've actually

found

some bizarre stories which aren't

necessarily funny on the face of it but

just raise a lot of questions

okay yeah this first one isn't super

happy

april the giraffe who became an internet

sensation in 2017 when the world watch

to give birth

is euthanized after suffering from

arthritis

why'd they euthanize her i don't know

maybe she had a stiff neck

well that makes total sense if it's a

giraffe

well yeah but they did it diagnosed so

so the poor giraffe

the name of the giraffe's april and they

euthanized it in

april yeah that's terrible isn't it talk

about happenstance

yeah yeah what do you think about that

pat well

you started by saying it was bizarre and

not necessarily happy

it's clearly a depressing story well

yeah but how do you know if a giraffe's

got

arthritis they tell you to kind of like

point

well i'm pretty sure that's why toys r

us went out of business because the

mascot was a giraffe yeah you needed to

be euthanized could they not just use a

monkey or something well no

jeffrey the giraffe had been the toys r

us mascot for years he was getting old

he's like look guys i can't do this

anymore

and they said well we can't sell toys

without you he's like look i got

arthritis

i have this girlfriend don't tell

anybody your name's april

and then they had to go out of business

yeah that is a sad story really i almost

wish anna started on that one but

you know that's kind of set the beau la

bar

the bar hello yeah yeah set the bar low

for

you know you're supposed to be in charge

of these new stories and you always try

to

jump out here with something depressing

can you not give us something to make us

kind of happy and giggle a little bit

well to be honest with you i actually

kind of found the

headline funny when i first read it it

was only upon later examination i

figured it might be a bit of a downer

yeah

kind of fell flat oh it's a happy one

okay moment disgruntled customer

deliberately drives into maryland taco

bell staff

after an argument about a food order at

the drive through pat let's be honest

if it wasn't marilyn this could have

been sandra it probably could be yeah

yeah but she hasn't leave tarrant county

so well yeah but of course sandra

is uh pat's assistant on his podcast and

everything i mean he has assistance

which

i mean that'd be cool if we could get

some of those but uh

yeah she gets very adamant about when

she goes and picks up food for pat and

her

and all that stuff so i could see sandra

doing this mind you sometimes it takes

us so long to get lunch i think she does

actually drive to maryland

well yes yeah but like pat said she

doesn't like to leave tarrant county

so if she even ventured that far east

into dallas county she'd be lost

right is maryland in dallas county i

think so oh yeah just off of uh

75 right right just don't take the toll

way right

i don't know if i could ever be that

upset about a taco bell order to

actually

try and commit vehiculum and slaughter

what depends on what was wrong with the

order

i mean if they left out your spicy sauce

or there was no potato on the burrito

i can see it well yeah that makes sense

and

plus i mean even with sandra she gets

upset when she goes through the

drive-through

and wants a hamburger without a bun

rather

than just taking the bun off she gets

mad that they give her the bun

so i could see her just plowing through

a burger king drive-through yeah but

when she gets excited it's hard to

understand what she's saying

that's true and she's probably excited

when she's ordering lunch

probably yeah so at one point during the

argument

one of the women got out of the vehicle

and assaulted the employee at the window

and she got back in the car came back

and they ran into

a group gathered outside the taco bell

just an

innocent group they weren't kids were

they doesn't say

why would that make it worse oh i don't

know i mean just kids hanging out at

taco bell

trying to have a good time and you know

some

person decides to just run over them

yeah

kids are normally fast enough to get out

of the way though oh that's a good point

mikey they were probably all on their

iphones

filming the instant first of all when

she molly walked the uh

drive-through stuff and so another good

point yeah so

this next one anti-racist group called

white lies mata steals jefferson davis

memorial chair

and threatens to turn it into a toilet

unless virginia confederate women's club

hangs a banner quoting black militant

okay that's really a tough one to follow

isn't it yeah so

so let's let's take this one piece by

piece right first

i need to know about this chair i know

we're i know we're a podcast non-video

podcast here but let me show you a

picture of this chair and you can see

how easy it would be to turn it in a

toilet

oh dad because that is definitely

there's a whole listening

to the seat there's a hole missing in

the seat and i'm surprised somebody

hasn't done this already

absolutely outside of desecrating a

natural treasure

that is is that true do they keep that

in a park

somewhere or i don't know the picture

seems like it's outside

it looks a bit heavy it looks like it's

made out of rock or something so

unless it's kind of a really old wood

but

was that the official chair of the

presidency of the confederacy

yeah honor is the confederate president

and it was stolen last month in selma

alabama

it's threatening to turn the 500 000

monument into a toilet unless the

demands are met

honestly i'm not sure that's a big deal

i could just hose it out that's true

i didn't actually get to see a um

follow-up

news article because apparently they

were given until 1pm last

friday to do that well let's be honest

though i could see that as a gaming

chair

i mean that way you could play a lot of

yeah you play a lot of video games you

just put a bucket underneath that

and you'd be good yeah i'd rather use

some

adult depends so yeah so white

lies l-i-e-s yeah so it's a

to play on words yeah and they are a

anti-racist group

um apparently but they wanted them to

post a banner i think you need to

re-read this

headline there was so much to digest

there that this is the very first

blackmail case i've come across where

somebody has threatened to use something

as a toilet i mean normally people

threaten to kind of behead somebody or

blow something up threatening to use an

old chair as a toilet it's got to be a

first

well yeah but you also got to remember

ikea had to put up signs because people

were using the bathroom in the middle of

the store

when they had toilets just sitting out

there

it's a home depot commercial about that

i think yeah i think lowe's had the same

problem

surprise walmart don't have more

problems with it but mighty i don't

think they sell

toilets i don't think they do but they

do sell the

products for you to be able to clean

said toilet that is true

yeah so here's one miss

sri lanka winner is left with head

injuries

after miss world removes her crown on

stage

and claims she can't win the contest

because she is divorced

is she still a myth um i mean

well missy's missy sri lanka so i'm

guessing you have married

this one oh okay well yeah if you're

winning a

missus rules rules are rules yeah so

i've got to side with the people that

are protesting this one she's got a

catchy name as well pushpika de silva

she was 31 years old as well which is

normally a little bit older than the

average contestant on a

miss contest but i guess on a misses

contest that's probably

kind of ironic i think i have a cousin

named that well pushpika

yes although the silver thing right yeah

so previous winner caroline jury a bit

more of a normal name

yeah yeah that that's uh that's kind of

bizarre it's

also miss missy's world i don't even

know there was a misses world i think

it's just a collection of milfs

yeah yeah snatched the crown

she was left with head injuries and

claimed she could not have won the

pageant because she was divorced

she was awarded the 2021 title during

the ceremony which was broadcast on

national tv

so did she get the head injuries because

of the crowns

yeah she ripped it off and it scratched

and made her head all bloody and stuff

that's a scene from carrie yeah without

the uh

poop yeah or passion of the christ

without the

you know suffering for our sins

california family

sue's baseball team after father chokes

to death during a taco eating contest

shouldn't have been a hot dog eating

contest at a baseball game well this was

a taco anyone

but it was where california oh well

that's why it was a taco eating contest

they don't have hot dogs in california

didn't they no they're vegan out there

okay yeah so is it tofu taco i think so

does it mention the kind of taco it

doesn't it's probably that

fake meat yeah i think that's all they

eat in california now is the fake meat

stuff made out of grass which they spray

brown right yeah

so donna hutchins 41

died in 2019 and it's only just coming

out now

she doesn't impress in the news yeah she

doesn't sound like she could be

miss sri lanka no with this diner dad

is how do you say it when it's a man is

it dana i think because it's donna if

it's a woman and dana if it's a man

right no i think it's

a danny either way no i think it's danny

right way well he was 41

back in 2019 he'd be 43 now he was alive

uh

choked during a taco eating contest at

chelsea park

during a fresno grizzlies minor league

baseball game

who's the opponent that i knew you'd ask

that one

don't know actually i guess maybe they

considered it

irrelevant to the article i don't know i

guess it's a good thing though that that

taco eating contest wasn't at a taco

bell in california when a woman drove

through the drive-through when

how do you know oh we don't we don't

are you setting up like a little

softball

plot twist here absolutely not i would

have taken a lot more research than i

was willing to do well

so his son marshall 18 who was probably

16 at the time depending on his birthday

has filed a lawsuit alleging that his

father was not made aware of the risks

and dangers

involved in the competition i mean again

this comes back to the

you know please don't take a poop in the

toilets in our store there's

not really any plumbing type thing if

you're going to be eating food fast

you should know there's a risk if you

don't chew it properly true you might

have a little bit of a choking issue

especially when it's the 19th taco

doesn't actually say how many tacos he

ate but

well and especially if you're going to

eat tacos made out of fake meat

well it sucked it was the first one you

didn't even have a chance to like enjoy

the first dozen and then

like you know choked to death on the

first one yeah yeah that would be sad

yeah but wouldn't be sad at the same

time because they're eating fake meat

tacos because that's all they eat in

california

i'd be a bit annoyed actually if it's

the first one and i was some of the

other contestants because you'd be like

you're kidding me right i came here to

eat free tacos

now we're going to stop the competition

because this person's choking to death

because like if it was about 18 or 19

and one of the contestants dropped out

because they choked to death

i'd actually be quite excited because

that would be one competitor out the way

you know and then you're just like eat

faster it would actually spur me on i

think

are they crunchy tacos or soft peppers

that's an important enough to think they

were probably crying see this is bad

journalism

that they didn't say if they're crunchy

tacos soft tacos are they street tacos

you know are they the little bitty tacos

are they big tacos i don't know

so many facts so many unknowns yeah

all right guide dogs could soon be

replaced by robots

oh are we really gonna go down the robot

rabbit hole again

yep so now we're replacing dogs with

robots guide dogs

yeah robots scientists develop

four-legged bot

that can lead blind people around

obstacles and through narrow passages

if you're blind why are you going

through a narrow passage

well but if you're blind how do you plug

the robot

in to charge him there's probably a lot

of room for it probably goes back to its

own base

oh that's a good point so do blind

people use roombas to vacuum because

they can't see the dirt on the floor

well no what's the point if you can't

see the dirt you might as well not

bother clean it up

well yeah but they can feel it on their

feet well yeah but if you imagine

you you've ever seen the show hoarders

whereas just like all

the house is just completely full of

junk right and like they just have these

pathways

to just like get from one room to

another and that's the only place they

can walk so it's full of junk i would

have thought that'd be awesome if you're

a blind person because you know exactly

where you're going plus you don't have

to clean up

so all the people on hoarders are blind

some of them are because some of them

are really large as well

so that makes sense so a blind person

invented the roomba

i don't know that's a fact actually says

i bet it is

said it guides its handler by means of a

leash

similar to how a real guide dog works

just in case any of

as well so the blind person is now on a

leash attached to a

robot dog yeah i think that's that

sounds criminal i think they sit in an

american flyer as well and the

robot dog just pulls them along the

setup has a laser mapping system

and a camera to keep track of its

handler

the team said the robot could cut down

on the costs of training guide dogs

so let me get this straight this picture

the guy doug right the robot one

do you honestly think that's gonna be

cheaper than training a guide dog

no how much money i mean is it going to

are these dogs going to harvard or

something yeah but what about

amish people that are blind well they

get

one made out of a cardboard box and get

one of the little kids to pull them

along i think i don't know

right that's a big guess but however it

would be unable to occupy the companion

role that real dogs do

so that's a good point can't be even put

in a robotic kind of like barking voice

when just

pet it just be like good boy well

actually what's to

stop them coating it in one of those

kind of life oh my goodness like a furry

costume

i mean the furries have been sitting

here trying to figure this out for years

why can't you just hire furries to be

blind guard dogs got it

synergy right okay the creator of the

robot guide dogs

and taxidermists you can stuff one of

these robots inside a dead dog so it has

the feel of a dead dog

sorry of a live dog and so it when the

blind person goes down a pedi it feels

just like a real dog and they put in a

voice box there

and it reacts just like those toys you

get from walmart which bark and walk and

stuff so

okay now hang on so we can't let blind

people get

everything because they already have a

monopoly on all the cool stuff

i mean they've got their own language

with braille they get the

fancy canes and everything they get to

walk with

you could actually take these blind

robot guard dogs and then your dog dies

and then turn it into a robot and now

your dog lives forever well i told you

that's what i was going to do with my

dog when it dies so i was going to take

it to a taxidermist get it stuffed

and then get some animatronics in there

put it on a plaque on the wall

and it's just gonna have its little legs

going and every time somebody walks past

it's gonna kind of bark or growl

and then every now and then it's gonna

be like a billy bass big mouth kind of

thing

and it's just going to be every now and

then it's little legs are going to move

and it's going to go run run run run

running just like play that sure i mean

basically disney has been working on

this for years

in secret yeah that's the whole purpose

behind disneyland and disney world

is making robot dogs for when your dog

dies then it turns into a robot

now the one group of people this is

going to hurt

are dog breeders yeah because now all of

a sudden you don't need

new dogs anymore you just recycle dogs

but to save the earth people would like

that because now you're recycling dogs

yeah so you're not having as much dog

waste anymore yeah on another note

the representatives from this company

turn up at the animal kill

shelter the owners should probably be

suspicious some frankenstein stuff going

on yeah a little bit

oh pat you have a dog would you

convert your dog to a robot dog oh in a

minute

yeah especially if you could get the

laser shooting out of his eyes yeah

an attack dog oh and your dog's young

and healthy isn't it

absolutely now now hang on pat's on to

something

yeah it could put the german shepherd

breeding business out of business

because now cops

could have german shepherd robot dogs

can you imagine a cop with a

dog with laser eyes yeah how much worse

can things get no kidding well you do

remember

a few episodes back we talked about in

new york

well there were two instances actually

one where they had the police dog called

little kim

who they wanted to change the night

absolutely lil

lil kim not little kim little

and then there was the other instant

where also in new york they were having

this robot dog

uh going to dangerous situations and um

aoc uh complained about it saying it was

going to be used to attack

you know kind of areas with minorities

and stuff that's two related stories so

i think

the robot dog is not going to be

generally well received especially if

you fit it with

lasers i think it might yeah i think

they just

stick to drones with guns on them that's

a lot easier yeah but dogs can't fly

no but drones can i know but you can't

make a drone dog

that doesn't make sense well she can

he's put helicopter blades on top of it

yeah but there's no flying dogs well

there will be

astro yeah from the jetsons didn't he

fly

was he a unicorn an airbud could jump

pretty high as well

oh so now all of a sudden we're gonna

have a basketball league

for robot dogs yeah that used to be cops

probably be better than more

entertainment than the actual nba at the

moment

yeah or or especially the wnba yeah

that goes without saying so moving on

before we offend more

canine lovers everywhere uh well i don't

think we in

i don't think we offended any canines we

need to move on because we've got to

offend gingers now

oh so redheads have a higher pain

threshold than blondes or brunettes

because their skin's pigment producing

cells

lack the function of a certain receptor

now my first thought was

well of course they have a higher pain

threshold because they're used to being

beaten up from kindergarten onwards

yeah so what do you think about that i

thought it was actually rejection

you know they they hit on a lot of uh

females and get turned down

yeah well that just leads to a lack of

self-esteem i don't ever give you a

higher pain threshold unless it's

talking about the heart

yeah but it could just be like working

out or anything else you build that

tolerance up over time

have you ever really seen a buff ginger

no no have you ever seen a buff

ginger i can't say that i have conor

mcgregor is not a ginger is he he's a

bit of ginger but he's got excuses

flower irish oh because he's irish he

gets a

a pass yeah plus it'll beat us up if we

say anything bad so that's true so we're

conor mcgregor fans

we love you connor yeah please don't

beat us up even though you change you we

love you man

well please don't beat me and if you'd

like to send us a

free sample of your whiskey proper irish

whiskey which has now netted him

apparently

close to half a billion dollars we would

be very conor mcgregor has his own

whiskey

i mean this doesn't surprise you he sold

half the company along with the two

other founders

um a few weeks ago and they made like

half they sold it to another actual

whiskey company distributing company and

uh

they made like half a billion dollars

from it in traditional irish fashion

were they drunk when this happened and

now

conor got screwed out of a boy yeah they

could have got a cool billion if they'd

have been sober but

you know they settled for the first that

makes sense i saw some deal about conor

mcgregor where he bought a bar

yeah um he bought this bar that he

punched some guy

out in bought the bar in the first order

of business was to ban

the guy from the bar yeah i mean you

gotta love conor mcgregor

especially because most of the time

you'd get beat up by him if you don't

love him yeah

so redheads read gingers

have a faulty receptor on skin pigment

cells that stops them from tanning

but also they have a hormonal knock-on

effect

which results in elevated pain threshold

the end result is that gingers see

actually says it there

it editor couldn't help himself wow

you've moved from red headed to gingers

yeah yeah definitely an english writer

uh produce more opioid signals

than people with other hair colors and

complex on complexions and have an

elevated pain threshold so there we go

my brother's a ginge and i don't think

he's any tougher

no yeah you got to remember i mean

beeman is an irish name yeah there

should be

some ginger in your family tree there

that's why everybody always thought i

was irish even though

you know my family comes from england

and

germany just because of a little bit of

red hair and they're

like oh you you've got to be irish i'm

like just because i'm an alcoholic

doesn't immediately make me irish

do you think anybody in your ancestral

tree

had familiar relationships with the

ginger probably

yeah it's likely this woman paige

bower 30 years old from birmingham

alabama

said guys pay me to mock them veteran

who was barely able to afford rent after

leaving the air force

reveals how she earns 1.3 million

dollars a year

come on by humiliating men on the only

fans website

i'm pretty sure that's just the

description of

a wife because i mean most men get

humiliated by their wives and they're

you know supporting their habits so she

must be really good at

humiliating them to get 1.3 well there's

a reason why there's amateur leagues and

professional leagues so maybe she's a

professional

yeah maybe she just humiliates gingers i

don't know well that could be

it's an easy job yeah spent years

working dead-end jobs and struggling to

make ends meet

isn't she 30 said yeah couldn't spend

that many years well she's an ex-veteran

from the air force as well now

how she got yeah i mean retiring before

the age of 30 from the air force

and lots of spent years working dead-end

jobs it seems like she can't really

commit to anything

typical woman yeah in february 2020

she set up an only fans account now do

you know what an only fans account is

pat

honestly i'm completely without let me

explain to you what an only fan discount

is

there are lots of instagram models and

tick tock influencers

who are quite sexy but because of the

platforms they are on

they can only show themselves kind of

between moderately and respectfully

dressed whereas only fans

allows the women to pose naked and sell

a subscription

so you can see the kind of pg rated

stuff on instagram and tick tock

but if you want to see a front bottom or

a mammary glands then you can go to her

only fans website

so a break between the y and the f if if

i was looking or

hyphen there's just only one only fans

or one word

okay yeah so i would also suggest

if you're trying to replace ceiling fans

in your house

don't go don't know your fans no

actually do go to only fans and tell us

about it

yeah that might be true yeah i mean how

great would that be

that somebody actually has oh

maybe that's how we make some money we

create an only fans account

and it's something well no and we just

have pictures of ceiling fans on there

right well we'll see what domain names

that

only the proper only fans website

actually has and any they're missing

if we have to buy only fans.biz and set

it up as a purely kind of like fan

selling website we might be get driven

some traffic

not only that but we could create a deal

where people could

actually have their own like account on

there

and take pictures of their ceiling fans

of only fans they're only focusing

and see how many how many likes pictures

are seeing

so it's gonna be fan fans of ceiling

fans only exactly.net there you go all

right

wasn't there a seinfeld episode very

similar to that i don't know

only dash fans did a coffee table book i

don't know

only ceiling fans only ceilingfans.com

maybe we're gonna have to quit the

podcast and just start a

only fans for ceiling fans i was

actually listening to joe rogan on the

way to the studio today and he actually

has a guest on

whose instagram account is a combination

of luxury watches

and ramen noodles oh yeah that i was

i was on clubhouse the other day and

there was a guy that popped into a room

i don't remember the dude's name he's

kind of interesting

but his handle on clubhouse is no

kidding

disney plus huh no one on clubhouse had

taken the handle

disney plus and so that's his handle on

clubhouse and he's gained

all these followers but he's just a

regular dude

he's like you know i always go into this

he he's a gamer

or an ex-pro gamer or something like

that and he's like yeah you always put

disney in there because people start

searching disney and they find him

his handle on clubhouse is disney plus

that's just like our recent episode

podcast episode

called uh baby shark that's true

has nothing to do with baby shark the

most watched youtube video of all time

except you were saying that i didn't

sing a little bit of the song before you

stopped me

so they got their money's worth for that

so anyway this woman

she now receives hundreds of requests

from william guys

asked to be mocked by her every day and

all of them are happy to pay for the

service

paige says she earns a hundred thousand

dollars a month from our only fan

subscribers

many of whom are married or in

relationships

so i mean how much abuse do you want

these men are already married and

they're in

relationships i'm sitting here thinking

to myself i get enough abuse from my

wife i

i don't really need to pay for it right

i mean i'm pretty much paying for it for

my wife already

why would i double dip there well it's

got the links for yourself i'll send it

to both you and pat

so just now no just in case your wives

go out of town or something and you're

missing

some abuse for a weekend i would need

the vacation

oh is the happiest story of the episode

so far

overweight german man who joined isis

says they used him as a sex slave i'm

not surprised

well he was allegedly turned into a sex

slave by isis forces the young man who

had converted to islam in 2014

had pledged allegiance to isis hoping to

become a full-fledged soldier in his

war against western civilization he was

rapidly turned into a sex slave for isis

combatants spending most of the time in

captivity

chained to a bed dressed up as a

western-style woman

what is a western-style woman you mean

just like an american

because they're over there in the east

so western style woman because i think

western style woman i'm thinking like

the

you know big flowery big dress from

like the old west no no

okay performing sexual services on isis

soldiers daily

until his recent escape all i have to

say to that article is

haha moving on

lawyer sues a louisiana public defender

boss for gender discrimination

claiming he told her to dress like a nun

because her outfits were causing

prisoners to masturbate

well now gender discrimination that's

something interesting to look at now

because if you have gender

discrimination

there's so many genders now how do you

figure out which

gender you're discriminating against but

here we go is the photo again our

listeners can't see it but i don't think

she really needed the known costume to

be honest

if i was a prisoner who hadn't really

seen a woman in quite a while i think

she would have done the trick

i think she might have looked good in a

nun costume

yeah she might have done yeah so former

public defense attorney

jamie pellerin i'll look her up on

google later

file the lawyers i find her on that only

only fans

hopefully that's a good point we need to

get out yeah

yeah we need to find out as soon as she

has an instagram as soon as we

quit recording this episode we will know

i think we ought to hit stop right now

so um she accused him of firing her from

the 15th judicial district

defender's office in lafayette louisiana

after she reported his

inappropriate comments she claims her

boss repeatedly

made sexual and sexist remarks to her in

the three years she worked there from

2017

2012 i understand that so even during

the age of kobe they abused it with

sexual comments

well they were on zoom yeah he allegedly

asked

her about sex and whether she was going

to get pregnant

he also told her to dress less

attractive and like a nun

because he said her appearance was

causing inmates to masturbate

she also alleges she was underpaid

compared to her male colleagues

marx which was her boss i guess has

denied the allegations branding them

sick lies

and claims pellerin was fired for

missing training to attend a wedding was

she a bridesmaid

i don't know it's a bit rough if it was

her own wedding they weren't like yeah

sorry you could

keep training i would have sucked yeah

there's another picture of her close up

there

yeah yeah she looks like a younger

prettier version of kamala harris

everybody younger than kamala harris

could look like a younger prettier

version of kamehameha i don't know

rapper xz bit so now you pronounce it i

don't know about z

bits whatever his napalm marijuana

is banned from a dispensary for being

racist against the vietnamese

his marijuana company spell his name

x z i bit

exhibit exhibit yeah the the dude that

used to do the

pimp my ride on mtv right oh

yeah i remember him yeah that's the same

video

i thought he died well apparently not

well

marijuana company called napalm cannabis

and it's been hit with an accusat

accusation of racism during due to it

being named after the chemical weapon

used in fire bombs during the vietnam

war now i think that's crap because

napalm was around before yeah dropped it

on the vietnamese

no napalm's been around for a long time

right

yeah i mean long before the vietnam war

it just kind of got

popularized there yeah so

exhibit we're with you on this one we

think this is a

another whoa culture type targeting

well i kind of feel bad for the guy

because he was just trying to

you know take care of people's cars and

everything back in the

late late 90s i think early 2000s i

can't remember when the show was

actually there i used to kind of watch

it

yeah and a lot of the cars sucked but

exhibit seemed like a nice

guy so i hope he wins hang on

maybe kanye could help him i don't know

kanye's got a lot

of right now wouldn't be news without

our normal florida woman or florida man

story

absolutely so florida woman 23

named snape who claimed she was harry

potter

wait no in the book

you better start this over so her name

is snape and she claims

she's harry potter that's immediately

confusing i know right

because they're two different characters

aren't they i think so yeah her name is

snape

well she claims she's harry potter but

they're both british actors

so i can see how that can get confused

well she kills a long island judge

75 years old in hit and run

and injures a six-year-old boy while

high on drugs

was the judge in florida i should have

had a long drive if he wasn't here we go

a woman from florida who claimed to be

harry potter

has been arrested after striking and

killing a long island

federal judge so i guess the judge maybe

was on vacation

down in florida and she killed him well

that's a good spot to

have a vacation i guess if you're gonna

get killed yeah she was convulsing

and having a seizure in her car when

cops found her

medics were forced to give her an

anesthetic to karma down

after she was found to be high on a drug

called t

salts paramedics was soon on the scene

whereupon

snape screamed and fault with them as

she claimed to be harry potter

incidentally severus snape is a

character in the harry potter tales

were alligators involved not in this

story

okay well at least it doesn't mention

them mind you that even if there was an

alligator

involved in this one it would have been

the least important part of the story i

think

so the people in harry potter they can

talk to snakes is that the same language

for

alligators or is it a different dialect

probably the same alligators

very smartly i don't know they've been

around for a while

exactly tattooed father who wants to

look like an orc

from lord of the rings reveals he split

his tongue

widened his nasal septum and spent four

hundred

dollars on four tusk like teeth even

though it means he struggles to chew

food

yeah but the problem is if somebody

wants to be like a character from lord

of the rings what they need is a walking

stick

because that whole movie was just

nothing but walking for

hours well i don't know why i just

wanted he could have like picked gandalf

it would cost him less money plus he

could have just done it part two now

gandalf was the guy that was

watching over harry potter yeah i'm

pretty sure it was

yeah it's the same guide long gray hair

all that

you know it's the same deal i thought

gandalf was the guy from sopranos

oh i think you're right but my problem

with

no wait it's from the muppets the great

gandalf no that's a great gatsby

oh right that was by f scott he was it's

geraldo he was the wolf of wall street

right yeah okay but he survived the

sinking of the titanic yeah

or the f that's uh scott fitzgerald the

edmond fitzgerald damn it the edmonton

we almost got that one so tattoo artist

has covered his body in paintings and

spent

four hundred dollars on giant tusks has

under the skin piercings as well as his

eyeballs tattooed

and his tongue split i bet his wife must

love that

again it's a podcast but the thing that

jumps out to me at that picture

is his dentist worked awfully cheap yeah

but

yeah 400 for those come on yeah but

that's

dmo you know they didn't have the really

good dental insurance

400 go get a cleaning yeah

that's a good point better gets through

quite a bit colgate with those things

so the actor and tattoo artist has 34

600 followers on instagram where he

regularly shares

snaps of his unique look and daily life

i got

six false teeth placed in august 2020

so even again all these people doing all

these unusual things during the age of

covid

last year this person got some big orc

teeth placed in his mouth

most people couldn't go to the

hairdresser and get a haircut and

somebody this dude found a dentist who

was willing to stick some

tusks in his face well good for the

dentist

he said i'm having trouble eating and

drinking so the new

modification project consisted of the

implantation of two more

large tusks body paintings which are

almost all in black

and some gray spots with some burns and

modifications

i wonder what makes you wake up one day

and think i want to look like an orc

well a lot of people probably look in

the mirror and say

i'd probably be better looking if i was

a mythical character

[Music]

you should continue there's a lot of

women that are posting pictures on

facebook that would be

better off being mythical characters

yeah i wonder if he contacts that page

girl from

only fans and gets mocked okay so now

you solve that problem that's where

she's making all this money

yeah so here we go it's a

another pet story only this animal

hasn't died

foster owner looking for a forever home

for a demonic chihuahua

okay before you go any further let's

just

go ahead and get this out of the way all

dog breeds can be trained to be good

dogs

so i i'm a firm believer that pit bulls

can

be trained to be good dogs german

shepherds can be trained to be good dogs

they can be friendly

except chihuahuas they are demon

dogs and all they want to do is attack

and kill people

right well the foster owner

goes viral with a very honest post

describing him as a man 18 child hating

dog

who looks like a gremlin see there you

go and he's from new jersey as well

they have chihuahuas in new jersey i

thought they were all from mexico i

would have thought all the pit bulls

would have eaten them so i'm surprised

there's any chihuahuas in new jersey

no the pit bulls are all from montana

miami

detroit las vegas

yeah so while trying to re-home prancer

the chihuahua with rancher so now

they're going to name it after one of

the reindeer from santa yeah that's

unfair

well chihuahua with anger issues who

hates men said was tired of the dog who

hated humans and animals alike and was

neurotic

her facebook post has reached 44 000

shares as people now want to adopt

prancer

so the dog has its own facebook page no

the woman posted it on facebook and it

was shared 44 000 times

wow she went on to say that papa turned

her home into a demonic chihuahua

hellscape

and wouldn't live with men other animals

nor children

only suitable for a single woman a

lesbian couple or a mother and daughter

household or a combination of the last

two i added that last sentence in there

but i wonder if the same woman that

posted that

was the one that drove through that taco

bell drive through and tried to run over

people

well she might as well done it while she

was there remember taco bell had that

chihuahua for a while

oh yeah was that oh yeah yeah

it might be the same person and maybe

she was upset

about the fact that the chihuahua wasn't

bringing in the royalties anymore yeah

that was actually one of those campaigns

where when they actually

did a proper kind of like marketing

outreach most people came back and said

the chihuahua was really annoying which

is why they got rid of it

well yes they are annoying yeah so let's

move on

otherwise we're not going to get this

article about do-it-yourself exorcisms

in right

so we go this is our last one yeah

so russian church says to leave

casting out the devil to experts after

diy

exorcisms caused several deaths see this

is why you gotta worry about youtube a

little bit because you can learn a lot

of stuff on youtube

and there's probably i mean i could see

the vatican having a youtube channel and

it's like

hey would you like to learn how to do an

exorcism

hey guys hit the bell subscribe and

we'll show you how to do an exorcism now

pat would you feel

confident performing at home exorcism

even with the

aid of youtube well i believe i

would i'm worrying about the translation

if this is from the russian church

that i may miss a small item in the

translation yeah but i feel like

if the demon wants to go it'll go and i

haven't really made any

any worse i wouldn't be too worried

about that because sean connery

was able to speak russian in

the hunt for red october right and also

i think

actually he only spoke with a russian

accent he actually spoke russian i think

it was a scottish accent

in the russian language but he could

have been making it up the whole time

to be like you know what i'm sean

connery i'm just going to go

by scottish accent no that's my russian

house okay

yeah you know i can't do accidents

that's true

now to pat snow for one

i also do not believe pat should now be

doing exorcisms because he just made a

remark about if the demon wants to leave

or not

whereas the whole point of an exorcism

is you're supposed to be ordering it to

leave you don't

you're not giving it a choice you're not

being like you know leave if you want to

otherwise just stay around infect a few

more people yeah but

you know that's the difference with pat

though that's just too nice

he's too nice yeah you're too nice to be

an exercise

so if you have that on your linkedin

profile just scratch off the part about

being an exorcist but

doesn't an exorcism either work or it

doesn't

does the attitude of the exorcist matter

well you think so

oh it should yeah otherwise the demons

can have a field day

that's true yeah and then you're going

to get negative reviews on yeah

yeah i'm picturing jack nicholson and

and the guy didn't seem all that upset

what move is this the exorcist jack

nicholson wasn't in the exorcist oh

he was banging on the door here comes

johnny uh

same same thing yeah it was and then he

said you need me on that wall

you want me on that wall a document is

being drawn up by the church to warn

people against exorcisms

two russians were believed to be uh

possessed by spirits and were killed

in 2019 during the exorcism the head of

the church there's only

spiritually strong priests should

perform the ritual

i'm sorry who died well it says at least

two russians were believed to be

possessed by spirits and were killed by

family members in 2019

a boy nine years old was whipped and

gagged by his father

who was trying to cast out a demon from

his body is the father along with the

leader of a local christian sect

allegedly spent two days trying to

resurrect the boy

before they disposed of his body in a

park the same year a middle-aged man

was suffocated by his own mother after

he displayed

interest in the occult meanwhile

in 2011 a woman 26

died after her parents forced to drink

five liters of holy water to make her

fall out with her husband who they

believed was the devil

she tried to resist and was being to

death five liters of holy water

yeah i mean that's a lot of water yeah i

don't know whether it had been better

off if she drank the water or

was just beaten to death but apparently

she chose the latter for our listeners

do not attempt any at home

exorcisms we don't normally trust the

russians but if they say leave it alone

and leave it to the experts we're

actually going to go with them on this

one

yeah i totally agree and with all that

said thanks for

tuning in to this episode of the wolf

and the shepherd and we will catch you

on the next one

thanks for listening to this episode of

the wolf and the shepherd podcast

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Pat Beaman

Podcast Host for On An Island with Pat Beaman