Getting To Know You - Part One

welcome to this episode of the wolf and

the shepherd today we're gonna talk

about getting to know you

yeah this isn't actually about us

getting to know our listening audience

because

i figure the less we know about them the

less liability we have

legally well not only that but at least

it's not me getting to know you right

because

i think i already know who you are yeah

okay just want to make sure

well we had quite a long email from a

guy named

mark in luton in england now have you

ever heard of luton lewton

yeah spell it l-u-t-o-n okay

no i've never heard of luton england

well the most famous thing about it

is it's got an airport a small airport

but

it's one of those places where the rest

of the country kind of has a bit of a

bias about it they kind of pretend it

doesn't exist you know like there's

certain states in the united states

where people a little bit embarrassed

they're kind of included in the union

oh well yeah people say name them and

they'll be like you've only named 49

yeah right yeah yeah the ones the ones

that matter well it isn't that kind of

how we

treat texas it's like there's texas and

then there's the other 49 kind of

bastard children of the united states

right because texas is the only one that

really matters

that really matters exactly so so that's

luton

new england gotcha because i always

thought it was whales

i always thought in the united kingdom

nobody liked the welsh

no we like the welsh we kind of feel

sorry for them because it's terrible

weather

and yeah but isn't the whole country

terrible weather well

but yeah just maximize it imagine not be

imagine having a bad night's sleep and

meaning that oh you barely got 45

minutes but then somebody else says they

had a bad night's sleep and they only

got two minutes that's whales

in terms of the bad weather i mean it

literally rains most of the time i don't

think anybody from wales

has actually got sunburned whilst being

in wales before

gotcha yeah that makes sense so luton

one of the other things it has going for

it is like

the most type of white trashy type

accent

imaginable along english terms well yeah

it's hard for me to do it without you

kind of like

well i'm not making making it up right

but

here's one of the problems though see

you can hear these different english

accents i guess the same way that an

american says oh you must

be from texas so you must be from boston

and

and all of that to me all the english

accents just sound

all the same oh governor governor i'm

here

cheerio you know bollocks and that's

pretty much what we do

you're kind of captivated that you think

it's like the broadway

version of oliver twist or something and

everybody speaks like that yeah

but i'm gonna do a luton accent okay and

i'll promise you i'm not making this up

all right love do you want a drink yeah

i'm from luton in it yeah

that's literally that's the women that's

the women that's not the women that's

that's how the women that's our posh

person from luton

wow that's how that accent is that is

why people make fun of it

so i can totally see that so anyway mark

uh thank you for writing in um we

love luton don't we sheppard well now

that i've heard of it i'm

not quite sure i mean it's not it's not

quite it's not quite canada

we're not going to put our names to the

tourist brosher but right

exactly so his wife

found this incredible question and

answer thing on the internet

um mark himself said he didn't really

enjoy the previous ones because they

sounded like the questions were written

by somebody who's not normally allowed

internet access without

adult or legal supervision oh yeah yeah

almost like the uh

what are those like the family filters

or whatever parental controls

so to speak they allowed access to

disney junior website and

maybe i don't know bbc world service for

kids i don't know

right but he found this definitive list

of questions well his wife did

now suspiciously if anybody actually

remembered all these details about us

they'd probably be able to answer all of

the security questions on our phone

and our financial accounts well yeah but

that was

but that was interesting but that was

until you told me that little secret of

what were we setting up where we had to

have all those security questions

and it was like you know what's the name

of the street

live on or whatever and i put that in

and like no no you you know put main

street and i'm like

i've never lived on a main street i'm

like yeah but you'll remember main

street and that's not really the street

that you grew up on

so that's your security answer it's not

really the real security answer

i can't even remember what you made me

put my first pet's name

is i'll think it wasn't very pc name

oh that's right now i remember what the

pet's name is yeah yeah

so anyway this question thing

it's pretty good actually i okay so

just before we get started here on

some of this need to let everybody know

i haven't looked at any of these right

you know

you printed out this copy and you said

hey here's what we're doing today which

is typically

what you do yeah uh so i haven't seen

any of this oh i've looked at the first

page

oh you actually okay yeah but there's

five pages so it didn't really help much

oh i thought that was blank paper

underneath your notes

see if you remember the answers to me

cheat sheet where were you born

oh my gosh i've got to narrow it down

this is like an

algebra test okay well i'm going to ask

you the first one let's get the ball

rolling here for

our lovely loot and fans mark and his

wife whose name he didn't actually put

down so it might be his mistress

not trying to get you in any trouble

there mark oh yeah well let's not get

mark and luton in trouble

right so shepherds who is your hero

and don't say jesus this isn't christian

camp okay

all right so we can't do that um and

don't say

my dad my mum don't give that generic

stuff either there's no entertainment

value in that

yeah i guess my hero would be

mackenzie bezos oh

jeff jeff bezos his ex-wife

that's my hero because she bought low

sold high and now is living the good

life

and didn't really do anything for it and

that kind of goes into my laziness of

you know i'd like to find some kind of

connection there like maybe marrow

mary oprah or something way long time

ago and then just kind of ride out that

wagon

until it's time to cut loose and cash in

i always have a bit of difficulty with

this question because

there's quite a few different people who

i admire what they've done

and sometimes it's a one-off you know

somebody's your hero they might have

just done like one thing but it was

so awesomely fantastic like in your

example okay or it might be somebody who

does a day-to-day type thing some people

might answer like batman or something

but

um i don't really have i don't think

i've ever really thought of a specific

hero i think it's more about the deeds

you know i like it when people quite um

selfless and you know save lives and all

that type thing but i don't really have

a hero as such

yeah well you know not everybody needs a

hero

necessarily oh yeah got some scene he's

a hero well yeah i got them

here well not only that but gotham city

is kind of like detroit

well one of the other places we could

mention yeah that's true

and that's true there's a lot of them

all right all right so there we go

i'm actually just going to ask you all

these ones first and then i'm going to

plagiarize or

try and come up with a better answer

than you oh well we can do it that way i

i don't have any issue with that so if

you could live anywhere so does that

mean i don't even need the papers in

front of me now

well technically now yeah yeah right

unless of course you don't understand

one of the words i'm saying and then you

can follow along you can proofread it

yeah that's

a good point yeah okay so if you could

live anywhere where would it be

and it's got to be an actual place you

can't be like you know

mars down wonder woman's oh

yeah something i got you yeah no i mean

although that is my choice

yeah texas i mean i'm i'm already living

where i want to live

texas yeah same here i mean if i could

live anywhere in the world it'd be texas

now it doesn't mean i don't want to

go on vacation to various places like

multiple times

a year sure well because we don't have

great beaches in texas to be honest i

mean they're all right

no now maybe we messed up on this

because maybe we should say don't live

in texas

because everybody keeps coming and

living in texas from

other states maybe we should say that we

want to live somewhere else and texas is

a really bad place to be

in case people are listening to this and

say you know what that's the last one

that's it and now i'm moving to texas so

maybe i want to live in san francisco

yeah yes that's actually this month yes

most of it right

i'm changing my answer you never said i

can't change my answers

so that's not against the rules so i

just changed my answer san francisco

california that's where i want to live

yeah that that is

where if i could live anywhere that's

where i'd want to live okay

um i would like to live in france

or let's think palestine i think i'll go

with those two

so anybody who's thinking to move into

texas

you know france and palestine those

options are still out there well

san francisco palestine and france

pretty much the same place pretty much

the same place

yeah yeah except they're not really

celebrating pride month

much in palestine according to reports i

don't see them doing the french support

year round yes

that's true it's like pride year yeah

exactly

what is your biggest fear people moving

from california to texas

my biggest fear i think if i'm being

serious would be like oh i am being

serious

i'm i'm so scared of all the people from

california

it might be like 10 of people who think

you're joking with that one if i have to

give an answer which people probably

think i'm being serious i would say

probably not being a good dad

you know i want to be i want my son to

remember me as you know he was a good

dad i don't want to be like oh that

[ __ ] i'm glad he

right in the freak helicopter yeah

that's crash you know yeah that's kind

of heavy though

yeah that's yeah yeah biggest fear it

could be like algebra

or something like that well i already

told you what mine is but yours was so

much heavier than mine

right and i think we better move on okay

this one's a bit

harsh because it's not going to be your

favorite but

it's favorite in a category what is your

favorite family vacation

like that i've already been on or that i

want to go on um

well you can do policies if you want oh

and it's a family vacation so it's not

going to be your favorite vacation

because you can only have so much fun

when you're with your family right

so

i don't really have a favorite family

vacation

i'm trying to think about the one that

bothered me the least

so i can name that one as the favorite

vacation my girlfriend's brother

actually sent through this

ad the other day from walmart and it's

got for father's day this

family pack of budweiser and there's 99

cans in it

wow and my girlfriend's uh brother brian

said this is this spear is all for dad

so we can drink it all just so he can

spend the day with his family

right yeah imagine a vacation yeah

absolutely right yeah and i know

you know both of us of course you just

came off a quick

vacation and both of us are actually

going on

not together but separate vacations but

exactly at the same time

well i'm going with my girlfriend so

i'll probably have fun but you're going

with your family so yeah

i know you'd probably rather be here

yeah exactly

you just pretend you're on a work trip

and just like well

sleep in the studio i i could do that

but i could come around we have a spare

room just get around to sleep and just

play xbox

there you go there you go what would you

change about yourself if you could

i don't think i'd change anything i'm

pretty happy with

me yeah you know i kind of like me a

little too much probably a little on the

bane side maybe

maybe the vanity then okay that's what i

would change without the baby

it's self-love a couple of episodes ago

right yeah there you go

yeah what about you um again i'm kind of

with you in i kind of like

mostly how i am but i know there are

some things which i probably should

change i wish i was a little bit

more get up and go up an atom type thing

because we're both pretty lethargic and

lazy

true i wish that i wasn't quite that way

because i know i could achieve so much

more but it was something yeah you know

from about and did something are you

really sure that you would change that

because

i know the way we both are and when we

look at people that are those get up and

go people we're like

i don't want to be that person i don't

even want to hang out with that person

so that that basically means you

wouldn't want to hang out with yourself

well the only time actually i feel like

that is when money is involved because

if i see oh

like oh look at this guy over a weekend

he built his own garage and built

you know a deck in the backyard that's

awesome i've got absolutely no jealousy

when it comes to that i would rather sit

on my back get up play some rocket

league go take a nap

right you know no no no chance that i

just mean like

you know i wish i was a little bit more

proactive sometimes when it came to

doing something which

probably bring me more money which

ironically the more money i would have

the more i would actually

relax and become lazier with it i know

yeah that's

that's a uh what is that an inverse

relationship there

what really makes you angry now i

thought this should have been worded

what makes you really angry but what

really makes you angry so don't pretend

so you can't just say like french

canadians because that

that just annoys you yeah oh

okay so so different than annoyance so

like a french canadian

cat i'm annoyed but i'm not angry with

it

uh something which makes you say the f

word

i don't think there really is

anything out there that just you know

burns me because i i take that stoic

nature towards most things like oh if

that doesn't affect me then

oh well uh i guess when i

run out of beer that makes me angry no

that makes you sad and dejected

oh you like the incredible you're like

bruce banner at the end of the original

incredible hulk tv series you know he

was just like walking by himself with

that sad music playing

down that deserted street you're like

that when you run out of beer not really

angry

what gets you turning into the hulk

angry

i don't think there is anything yeah

really

uh no

no i just i'm i'm too laid back i guess

maybe

maybe i need to find something that gets

me angry bad

road rage not as in how it plays out i

mean i don't cut

somebody up and drag them out of the car

and beat them to death with a tire iron

right but i don't carry a gun in my car

for the purpose that you know there's

sometimes it might end up like a game of

mario kart

if i had it there i'd just be like

shooting people's tires and stuff

right i know i think about that same

thing as far as you know i don't want to

carry

a gun with me in the car because if i'm

alone in the car i'm just with my

girlfriend in the car actually even

sometimes when i've been in the car with

you

you know i'll kind of like use some

choice loud words it's true

drives like an idiot but you know if my

son's in the back seat with me i'm like

oh look at that bumpu head

right right like punch him in the bottom

you know that kind of

thing but now i think that road rage i

do have that i do have a little bit of

trait of road rage because i'm

the perfect driver except in rocket

league well

i do have a little bit of road rage but

i

try not to let that affect me i just say

you know there's another person that

doesn't know how to drive and just kind

of move on

i guess i'd probably get angry if that

person

that was a bad driver hit my car right

that would make me angry yeah but you

know if it doesn't really affect me if

they do something stupid and i was able

to swerve and miss

and not damage the car and move on i'd

get over it pretty quickly

at the moment i think if anybody hit the

car it'd be like ah there's a chance to

get a new car

you know through insurance but i think

if my son was in the car and somebody

hit the car

then there'd definitely be some uh

murdering going on

sure and so i see your point and i agree

with you the only difference for me

would be what car am i in at the time

yeah

certain cars i would say okay no big

deal

other cars i'd say okay now i'm really

angry right so

yeah this question is a bit of a uh

silly question

what motivates you to work hard now if

this was like

entrepreneurs or somebody serious in

business this would be a great question

but for us it's not really

yeah brilliant as such what motivates

you to work hard and the answer cannot

be

avoiding eviction

well my answer was actually going to be

kind of close to

that yeah it's like being able to afford

beer

well not being able to find everybody

yeah

what do you mean feed everybody yeah i

care rahman's still pretty cheap and

plus there's a thing called welfare so i

know it's not that oh i forgot about the

welfare

did you hear that the state of texas got

a bunch of

infusion of money into everybody's like

food stamp accounts and everything

and i mean depending on your situation

right it was like

three four five grand we're not talking

about a few extra hundred bucks

we were talking about a few extra

thousand bucks yeah and

of course what happened right after that

everybody was posting on facebook

i've got a thousand dollars on my wic

card i'll take

500 bucks for it and they immediately

was doing the two-for-one deal

and selling their food stamps yeah and

for like two or three days all the

grocery stores were out of food because

everybody was selling their food stamps

and then people were running to the

stores and buying all the good food that

you can buy off work

yeah and i i really don't like this

thing where

people say you know if you're on welfare

you've got these carbs that you should

only be allowed to buy specific foods

like healthy foods and all this stuff

because it's

hypocritical because if i had that money

and i was going to buy food

i'll just buy crap food with it i'll be

buying pizza and whatever else

so why why should you be in this kind of

oh they should only be allowed to buy

you know

gluten-free bread with no flavor and

you know sugarless and stuff so it

so i totally agree with you there

although i know

you know when you're walking through the

store and you're looking at like the

meat counter

and there's like these nice cuts of

ribeye steaks and everything and it says

wick approved i'm like

really i mean are these people eating

better than i am because

i'm looking in the clearance like buy

one get four

free deal and somebody else has a wic

card and they're getting

you know choice rib eye steaks and

taking them home well i remember

watching an interview with some surfer

dude

in california back maybe

the middle of last year right before

bernie sanders dropped out

and this was still when people were

deluded enough to think that bernie

would actually have a chance to get in

and you know bernie's all about the

minimum wage and all this and increasing

you know the amount of welfare to bring

it in line was a

as if you had a job at minimum wage

and this surfer dude he'd never had a

job since leaving school right

and he just got welfare the entire times

from when he was first eligible and his

white dude with dreadlocks

and he said that oh yeah i get lobster a

couple of times a week and then so i'd

like a bit more money to be able to buy

you know a few things here and there and

that's the problem you've got these

welfare children who they don't want for

a better life because that's all they've

known and it's you know say if you grow

up in ethiopia and you're eating

some crap and sometimes you do some

ramen noodles you're like oh this is

pretty fantastic well that's true

you know if you're eating like steak or

lobster or chick-fil-a or whataburger

and then all of a sudden you have to

switch to ramen noodles you're like oh

not this crap

right so i mean it's all relative so you

get these people who've all they've ever

known is like

buying budgeted food then they're okay

with it and they're okay with that

standard of living

it's only once you've already known

better that

you know it's kind of bit of a downgrade

yeah what's that old saying you know

you don't know what you're missing until

you actually

you know get in the middle of it to

actually get shorter and snappier than

that i don't know what you

missed yeah no i'm pretty sure that's

exactly

it's yeah yeah you don't know what

you're missing until you actually

accomplish it and witness it and do all

that

i'm pretty sure that's what's the needle

pointed on a pillow

somewhere it you know or you can't miss

what you've never had that might be nice

more applicable in this situation yeah

what was it that gretzky

said you know you miss a hundred and

percent of the shots you don't take

or something like that that was proven

not true

yeah yeah what is your favorite thing

about your career

i like the fact that my boss leaves me

alone

unless there's a huge problem going on

and it's when i turn up so yeah well it

there's that

second favorite yeah but uh no i mean

the one thing that i do like about my

job is you know i

i can do my job i'm left alone it's like

hey here's what you got to do

now go do it and tell me it's done right

i don't have somebody

sitting on my shoulder all day saying

what are you doing

what are you doing here i said when is

this dude blah blah blah blah you know

the micro

management thing i couldn't deal with

the job that i was going to be

micromanaged in

yeah i think it's pretty much the same

with me that

anything i kind of do i am

close to being the expert in the field

of it

and so i don't really have anybody

telling me oh you need to do this

differently or maybe you could do it

better

by doing it like this because believe me

if i could have found a shorter cut

oh yeah i would have found it yeah well

in in

honestly to kind of add to that i mean

that's one thing i like about my job i

try to take something that's going to be

a big pain right and i'm like okay

so let me do the work now to make this

easier later so i can be lazier later

and get the work done now

to where everything's easier later on

and so i can make it as simple as

possible

to where i don't have to put so much

work in later on yeah

and i have that ability in the job that

i have now that i can actually do that

so

that that's a good part about that yeah

what is your biggest complaint about

your job

other than having to do the amount of

work which you've just

narrowed down to having to do i don't i

don't really think i have

any complaints about my job other other

than

the fact that you know i deal with

people all across the country

and so when i have to like set a meeting

i guess it's it's not really my job it's

more of a complaint about

time zones yeah i really hate time zones

because you you ask somebody you know

hey you know can we do this call at

11 o'clock yeah and then i realized well

they're eastern time i just set it at

noon maybe they want to go to lunch am i

interrupting their lunch or whatever or

is it too early for the west coast or

whatever especially being right in the

middle

so i just i don't understand why we

can't just all go off of

the greenwich mean time or whatever and

we all have the same time

and we just all do that yeah i think

because everybody over you know on the

other side of the world they can just

work in the dark

because i don't care we ought to have

prime time in america because i'm pretty

sure we invented the clock

yeah i just like

it when you're trying to be friendly

with a girl in california

and she's a little bit supernatural

so then you get friend-zoned in the time

zone

in the twilight zone that's a lot of

zones

yeah that's the uh and you know try for

of terribleness there

injection somebody's living in a

different time zone plus you might get

away so

yeah not the best combination yeah and i

don't i don't like zones i don't like

zone defense in football either

so there's another zone that i had just

containment yeah

i kind of said that to avoid my answer

about this my biggest complaint about my

job is that i get paid enough money

because again if i could get paid enough

money

the thing i would do is retire earlier i

remember once actually eddie murphy

he was covering the um rodney king riots

in one of his stand-up sketches

and it came to when rodney king got the

payout

you know

and eddie murphy was saying he said i

don't know but this is gonna inspire a

lot of people to disobey the law because

i'm just gonna

get out that car swig a fifth

start resisting arrest and just be like

beat my

ass beat my ass now right and make sure

somebody's filming it yeah well you got

to remember one thing about the rodney

king

deal versus everything today right way

back in those days

it was rare for somebody to just happen

to have a video camera right

i mean now we all have video cameras

built into our phones so it's easy to

film stuff

that was rare that somebody actually had

that camera with them to actually

film the incident and then of course it

was far away it was like a

a bank security video or whatever today

if you look at it compared to the

ability to shoot

4k video on your iphone today yeah

and it was one of those videos actually

i think unless people would actually

admitted it was them

in the video it could have been like the

vulnerable snowman true or something you

just couldn't tell because i don't think

any of the faces were clear

i don't remember any of that being clear

yeah i think it's the exact same model

of video camera that all the ufo footage

is filmed on

yeah a potato right yeah

right what is your proudest

proudest accomplishment there's too many

esses in this yeah

i don't know i guess that i'm still

alive

i haven't somehow killed myself doing

some of the stupid stuff i've done

you know riding a motorcycle with no

helmet and jumping out of planes and

you know all the other ridiculous things

that i've done and i don't exactly take

care of myself but

somehow i'm still alive and i wake up

every morning so i guess i can be proud

of that

yeah that probably answers a completely

different question kind of like how am i

still alive

but i think my priority accomplishment

when i said there's too many esses in

this we've ever printed this out there's

like three s's in accomplishment

uh what's mine he did misspell that look

at that was

i didn't notice until i said it actually

uh proudest accomplishment

um probably along the lines of what you

said because it's a shock i'm still

alive some of the stuff i did and not

just as a kid i mean like when i was in

my teens and in my 20s i mean i did

dangerous stuff like getting in

shopping carts going to the top of those

uh

car parks you know where they have the

um spiral

exit ramps from the top to the bottom

yeah and i'd get in a shopping cart

my friend would push me and i'd go all

the way down there now if a car was

coming out of one of those levels at the

same time or a car to stop for whatever

reason

you know i'd have been yeah in pretty

much trouble because i remember the

barricades around this one

close to college we used to go down it

was maybe only about three foot high

which was about level with the top of

the car or right the top of the cart was

a little bit heavier so if i had spilled

out i'd have

just like plunged oh yeah imminent doom

yeah

i look at some of the the dumb stunts

that i pulled

you know once again thankfully both of

us grew up

long before social media you know

because we would have been

filming this stuff even though i i did

do a lot of videos and everything with a

buddy of mine

and you know we'd film us doing stupid

stuff but we didn't run out and

immediately put it on youtube

or you know the internet or anything

like that well it's a good job we didn't

have tick-tock

because oh yeah we'd have taken those

challenges oh absolutely

we complain and say oh kids today

they're so stupid they've eaten tide

pods and

you know done the hold your breath to

your pass out thing would have been all

over that we've done it live on air and

filming it and probably put it on

youtube

yes absolutely well remember when that

chip challenge thing came out

we did that we didn't even film it but

you got those hot chips and we all sat

there and ate those hot chips that night

the remember that one chip challenge

thing

you bought that box that had like 10 or

20 or something in them and you kept

like every

everybody that would come over to your

place like oh hey you know here's this

chip i'm like what is this box and it's

like oh everybody you know that comes

over i give them one of these chips and

almost killed our friend eric yeah you

remember

erica eric had a tough time actually

ironically out of the three of us he was

the only one who actually has any

medical training to have saved his own

life that's

true bad happened well we would have

been sitting there

as eric was passed out on the floor and

you'd have said well we need to help him

i'm like no dude i'm filming this you're

gonna have to take care of this

well i was trying to film it from the

other angles so neither of us would have

really been much use

well yeah but that two camera angle

video

would have got a lot more views that's

true yeah yeah so see we're always

thinking if we'd have done it side by

side we could have maybe

done it in 3d as well oh yeah or that

virtual reality

thing yeah yeah you mated reality yeah

you could have actually been there with

everybody

and friend eric anywhere on any level

surface yes

that see i wish we would have done it

that way

instead i think one of us filmed in

portrait and one filmed in landscapes

and then we deleted it it's like 30

seconds later in the bathroom yeah

that's great next question what is your

child now you've got

lots of children four that i know of

what is your child's proudest

accomplishment

so i just guess choose your favorite one

which is like

mason or connor because the other two

you're kind of 50 50 about especially

the girl

well you know well i was gonna say that

you know

my my daughter my oldest she just

actually 18 yeah

no no she's still 17. but she just

graduated high school so it you know and

i always look at that and

i'll get back to that yeah so she just

graduated high school

about to go off to college but she

graduated early

and rather than just sitting around

doing nothing like most kids did that

graduated early waiting to go to college

she actually went

and she's gonna go into college almost a

sophomore

but i gotta back up and say i remember

when i graduated high school

and graduated college and my parents

were so proud of me

and i never understood why they were

proud of me

because i said well why do you think i

was

going to school like i was going to

school to graduate

so that i look at it as being done i

don't really look at it as being an

accomplishment it's

like a check box off the list it's like

okay you're supposed to go to school

then you're supposed to graduate then

you're supposed to go to college and

you're supposed to graduate then you're

supposed to go find a job

you know almost like fight club you know

when they're talking about that

right that's how i kind of looked at it

until

i saw my daughter go ahead and graduate

high school

and i still had that feeling that yeah

this is what she was supposed to be

doing

but i'm proud of her that she actually

got it done but i hope you still

called her a big nerd and wedgied her

for like weeks after

not yet yeah i haven't yet maybe get

online and cyberbully here a little bit

yeah a big nerd

yeah big nose big nose she doesn't have

a big nose but yeah you might as well

put it out there

yeah just kidding starts getting

paranoid about it yeah i gotta come up

with something i read a

comment once this guy said

i managed to save 30 a week on groceries

by

telling my weight conscious daughter

she's starting to look fat

hmm so there's some advice for you

people out there pinching the pennies

out

i have to find it difficult getting

employment after covert yeah

but you say that's advice for people out

there i'm

i'm writing that one down in my head i'm

thinking i might be able to save some

money on groceries by telling my family

they're all getting fat

and they need to stop eating so much but

your boys they're pretty cool they've

got some pretty cool

interests and pastimes you know like the

guitar skateboarding xbox now with your

daughter it's a little bit different if

she comes to you and says

dad can we talk i should imagine your

first reaction should be why we don't

have anything in common

yeah that's true yeah go talk to your

mother yeah yeah i mean i

really haven't

yeah yeah and yeah i'm definitely not

going to do that

i don't know anything about boys no no i

don't know anything about that

so uh yeah i mean i obviously have a lot

more in common with my boys than i do my

daughter

but uh you know she she's a good kid she

could have

she had friends that got into trouble

and all that and i'm glad and you know

she didn't do any of that

or she was smart enough not to get

caught maybe she was the ring later and

i just like a whole bunch

i'm not saying she didn't do anything

wrong i'm saying she didn't get

into any trouble lying like you said she

never got caught doing anything because

i had a lot of dumb friends growing up

that

they couldn't jaywalk across the street

without a cop

sitting there watching them and they

were constantly getting into trouble and

constantly going through all that

i did stupid stuff but never got caught

i think that'd be one of those things if

my son

suddenly turned around and showed me

evidence that it managed to steal

like 100 million dollars of bitcoin

online

i'd be like son we shouldn't really do

this

but it seems like you've got away with

it so we're going to sit on the money

and i promise you that we're going to

spend at least three percent of this on

good causes

to have like make up for this huge

online heist we're not going to give the

money back because

look no we might want to get and i might

get in trouble

so let's just sit on it to the heat

clears

and we'll go to something yeah and

figure out where we're gonna live

in case of uh i think my son's proudest

accomplishment

is really get to be a genius at every

electronic device in the house

because now he doesn't need to ask me to

do anything put on his favorite show

get into a certain app i told you even

when he was about three years old

i had to disconnect like my debit card

credit cards

from oh yeah devices exactly xbox

because he kept buying stuff on the app

stuff because he was smart enough

at that point because he was kind of

hyperlexic and could read

that he knew how to purchase extra stuff

and he'd just click on it and i left him

alone for one afternoon

and it downloaded something like about

30 episodes of mickey mouse clubhouse

from the store and it costs must have

been like about 90 bucks

oh wow and some of the episodes weren't

even really that good so i felt

well not only that but so what roughly

like three bucks apiece for these

episodes right

yeah it was 2.99 so

did he actually watch all of them or was

it like

i'm gonna buy this one and then he

watches it for like two minutes and says

oh no this one sucks and then he goes to

the next one and buys it well the worst

thing about it is i think

all but about five of those episodes i'd

already illegally downloaded for him

anyway via bittorrent so he could

already watch him on the big tv

he just wanted them on his device right

just like purchased

okay so i don't get that

somebody's got to explain that to me

why why is it that you have like

you know um like in this instance right

you have the ability to watch something

on tv but then you choose to watch it on

your phone

my kids will literally sit in the living

room

the tv the big screen tv will be

off and they'll be watching youtube on

their phone

sitting on the couch holding it yeah i

don't understand that why would you not

want to watch the bigger screen

when my son is a little bit different

because they'll have it on the big

screen

and then he'll like it on his ipad

and also if he can get away with it have

it on my phone as well so he'll have it

on three different screens and he'll

kind of like dj

it you know have a second delay between

each or i'll try and synchronize it all

but also he likes to change location

about every 10-15 minutes so he

watches it around the house or outside

or well but

okay so so the moving around location

thing i totally get

yeah but if you're gonna sit there on

the couch in front of the tv

and then hold the phone and watch the

video i don't understand that

i i really don't get that right but it's

not just my kids i mean this is a

popular thing that the people do and

yeah

don't get it so this next question

obviously proves mark from luton and his

wife they should probably cut this one

out

what is your favorite book to read

i don't know i think i've only read like

three books in my life

yeah i guess it's got to be the

godfather that's

i've read the godfather the hunt for red

october and parts of the bible

and not counting like cat in the hat and

dr seuss books

that's really the only books i've ever

read definitely the

bible but i don't think for years i've

really read

much of it because from going to church

so much growing up

and as an adult that

every time they kind of start going into

theirs i pretty much know that verse

anyway

and so you know a lot of people will

take their bible to church especially in

texas and open it and read along with

the pastor which

now is stupid because it's always on the

screen right yeah

all the churches but even then it's like

well why just listen to it

yeah but okay so i'm i'm gonna say i

gotta disagree with you a little bit

here because the church we go to

they do that same thing right they put

the the verse up on the screen

and it's a huge screen right right but

there's sometimes where i'm like

man i'm getting old because it's kind of

hard for me to read this and if i had it

right in front of me

i wouldn't have to try to squint and

look at that screen but i'm pretty good

at listening though i don't really need

to follow along reading it

no i don't either yeah but i've always

thought that was a bit strange

yeah but sometimes though when when

there's something up there that's being

read to you

you know whether you got you know the

book right in front of you or it's up on

the screen

it's kind of like the reason why i don't

like

foreign films and i don't really like

movies that has a foreign language and i

have to read the subtitles because it's

like

there's words on a screen i'm going to

focus on that

so you watch a movie with like subtitles

or whatever

and you miss most of it because you just

for some reason just focus on the words

on the subtitles

rather than what's actually on the

screen at least that's me

now i actually used to like watching

foreign movies when i was about

12 or 13 if they came on tv late on late

at night for one reason only

well because you like the french no it's

oh

that you had a good chance of seeing

some boobs

oh okay 12 or 13 you'd sit and watch

your movie for

yeah but double an hour two hours late

at night you know 10 o'clock at night

your parents think you'd be in bed and

you'd be watching this movie just on the

off chance because you saw one a month

ago where

right you got a bit of side side

cleavage side boob or something

well but that was different though it

was always different

in europe

england i think it got to a point where

you could show boobs past nine o'clock

at night

if you gave a warning you had to have a

warning that this

show contains unity or topless

you know business it's kind of funny you

bring that up because

netflix right now anytime you you know

watch a netflix show or whatever

they always have you know the rating of

the show and

now they put the reason why it's rated

the way it is right

and then there's some that were rated

years ago

by like motion picture association of

america or whatever

and so they put their rating up there

what cracks me up

still to this day is one of the reasons

on why they rated something smoking

yeah yeah i see that and i'm like oh

smoking

okay that that's really why we're ready

to cover it they have like smoking drug

use alcohol use

that's like really well okay the drug

use

i can understand that the alcohol i'm 50

50 on

you know the violence the language

totally get that right yeah get that

home anyway

but smoking yeah like it

we took something that was just

commonplace for

everyone and now it's bad to even show

it just like what disney did

if you go to disney world or disneyland

or whatever they went through

and photoshopped all of the pictures of

walt disney

and photoshopped the cigarette out of

his hand but

that was normal i mean it right those

people smoked

yeah so why are we trying to raise

pretty much in the 50s and 60s you go

back to those tv shows and you

especially like you know even in

interviews

you know they'd both be there smoking i

mean i've never smoked in my life but i

don't care if other people smoke and it

doesn't offend me it doesn't influence

me and i don't think

you know if you're if you've got a show

on which is supposed to be for mature

audiences anyway

and the kids shouldn't be watched it

shouldn't be watching it that anybody's

going to be

sitting there thinking yeah i think i'm

going to take up smoking right and you

look yeah yeah

i just watched this show and now you

know what i know

nothing about tobacco but i'm going to

go ahead and start smoking because i

watch this show i don't know we're

smoking i don't know what the percentage

of people who

went out and started their own meth lab

after watching all of the seasons of

breaking bad but

yeah well you know there were sure

wasn't too high yeah but you know there

was probably some

it's probably something they were like

hey we can figure this out even though

we have

zero chemistry background or nothing you

know if

walter white can do it i can do it i was

a little bit tempted i'll be honest

but well but let's be honest wasn't

there kind of a

influx of like meth lab explosions and

everything

soon after breaking bad came along it's

like hey we can go on the internet we

can figure out how to make the reason

though

it's because people weren't going on the

internet to see the steps they were

seeing what

was on tv and not really following the

instructions you know what it's like

when you see um

you know a quick advert for ikea and

somebody's put together a chair

and then you get a chair from ikea and

you think well how hard can it be to put

together a chair right

and so you get everything out the bag

you put it together and then you left

over with like nine

pieces and then you sit on it and it

breaks and one of the chair legs

you know impales you in the back i think

a lot of people thought

oh it's got to be pretty easy then and

took shortcuts to building a meth lab

where in reality

you know to get good quality math

apparently you've got to have a pretty

good streamlined process and

you know a little bit of knowledge in

chemistry not that we're advising

anybody to start a meth lab yeah

but that was kind of the message of the

show

yeah i mean if you if you think about it

if you're if you want to be a drug

manufacturer

that was the message of the show this

chemistry

teacher was the one that was able to

make the really good meth and

any time you know he had to teach what

was the kid's name

bobby i think and that's not right but

we'll call him bobby

you know he had to teach bobby how to do

it but even he couldn't get it

perfect yeah because walter white had

his own little method of how he had to

do it and he had all this knowledge and

so on and so forth

if somebody wanted to create a meth lab

that should have been the message of the

show

look go to school get a chemistry degree

then you can cook math really really

well well i was actually listening to a

joe rogan podcast this morning

and his guest said that it's a

misconception from people that you know

the dea

in the united states have access and

have all this you know storage of

fantastic drugs he said

that's actually completely untrue he

said what they actually have is possibly

the worst

drugs on the market because the people

they bust

tend to be idiots a lot of the time and

they have stuff cut

you know with other things and it's you

know stuff which isn't safe or it's very

poor quality and so the dea

do not have stored in warehouses and

aircraft hangars the best drugs on earth

apparently it's the stuff which is more

likely to kill you so

anybody out there thinking that a heist

of a dea drug

containment facility is a good plan

not a good plan apparently now that

makes sense and with all that said

thanks for tuning in to this episode of

the wolf and the shepherd and we will

catch you on the next one

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