Jan. 20, 2021

Episode 48 - Bowling

The Wolf And The Shepherd discuss the sport... well activity, of bowling. 


welcome to this episode of the wolf and

the shepherd today we're gonna be

talking about

bowling bumpers up

you know we're going to be talking about


maybe you call it the sport of bowling

i mean i i always

took bowling as you know something that


did that was just a extra curricular


not necessarily a sport you know

something somebody did but

there's there's some interesting things


look at with bowling now before we get

into bowling too much you mentioned the

word sport

do you consider cheerleading a sport no

no me neither no says that out of the

way now all right

sorry sorry olivia and i i i love you my

my daughter olivia loves cheerleading

and she considers that a sport but i'm

sorry she's not

a supporter she's not an athlete just

like that oh what's that

what's the official name of that ribbon

throwing around the ribbons what's that

yeah at the olympics

no honestly i think it's actually called

throwing around the ribbons yeah

yeah because it's just ridiculous

yeah no they're not they're not i mean

they're they seem to be very flexible


you know but it's like a fairly tight

shoelace but yeah but that's you know

kind of like the

gymnastics or or whatever part of that

just because they can do gymnastics and

like you say

throw around a ribbon doesn't invent a


now do you think they should get rid of

gymnastics and just introduce

parkour why hasn't parkour been i don't


because that stuff's impressing it

everybody loves watching that

oh yeah yeah but yeah all you know we

can't do that i mean yeah

that they tried now correct me if i'm

wrong but

did they not get like skateboarding and

some of

those like extreme sports finally you

know i'm not

sure i just i just don't know in the

proper olympics right

where a mimio protrechochov who's

12 years old has steroids to stop her


any heavier or growing well and gets

beaten up three times a day because

she's dead to eat

you know some extra peas i don't know

why that's but

remember we still have in the winter

olympics the biathlon which is

skiing and shooting yeah right but

but then we got rid of naked wrestling

because the if you look back at the

history of the olympics the wrestlers

were naked

so yeah but also dwarf tossing hasn't

made it in there

oh god that'd be a great sport wouldn't

it dwarf tossing

yes yeah yeah and then shooting putting


shooting and dwarf toss and then maybe

we've got the triathlon

the triathlon rather than swimming

running and biking

let's do that yeah see this is why we

should be in charge of the olympics

pretty much everything really yeah it

should be but we're talking about

bowling we find solutions to problems

that don't exist

yes yeah but we're talking about yeah

all right um

so bowling are you any good at

well it depends on your definition of

what's good at bowling i mean i don't

even know what the

good average score is with bowling it's


you know somebody says hey do you play

golf and

i would say well yeah i play golf but i

haven't played in a while

and then when i say you know i've shot

in the 80s before

that's really good it's good for golf


you know but obviously when i shot in

the 80s i probably cheated like

20 strokes to get into these you know

which is

you can't really cheat in bowling like

you can in golf

so i i think you know my best score

in bowling was probably in the low 200s

but i think that's probably pretty good

the ironic part though is when i

rolled that game i was like nine ten

years old

if if i would go right now to bowl

if you said hey let's stop the podcast

let's go up to bowling alley and let's

bowl a game

i if i bowled my best i would probably


i'd bowl maybe a 150. yeah

that's quite all right i'm

i just can't find a pattern i will play

games i'll get like 150

and the next game i'll get like 62.

i just haven't found a rhythm with it

and i can't find any reason because like

i've been great at every sport i've ever

played which is why i completely

dismissed bowling as being a sport

because like um bowling is actually

considered as a target sport

i don't know what has and a recreational

activities for me it basically means i


suck across two different genres the

exact same

thing yeah but going back to the

recreational activity

i mean you have curling now in the

winter olympics

and it looks like four dads that like

yeah got onto the wrong airplane and

showed up and they said

hey y'all gotta go play this game like

oh okay well we'll

turn our ball cap around backwards and

we've got our polo shirt on

that you know our guts kind of hanging

out and we're playing this game but

we're these professional curlers curlers

curling has a rich

history and i think you've just peed

upon it a little bit

wow okay so let's go with that corn hole

i mean that's one of those new ones

where you you look at

espn and maybe this is because we're in

the age of cobit

right now right in and sports just sucks

so bad that

this is what we're looking at that we

are actually

watching professional cornhole

players throw bean bags into a

little plywood hole

well cornhole has a rich history so

i'll tell you what doesn't have a rich

history right we're not bowling

no no no it does not really it does when

i lived in europe

um some of the countries like especially

the nordic ones have such a strong

interest um

you know in like winter sports that i

stayed in a hotel once and like two or

three of the radio stations had

skiing on the radio so literally

on the radio yeah live skiing on the

radio so you heard was gonna

he went he went left he went right and

every now and then he went left

and everywhere and you'd hear the

comment be like

skiing on the radio that is warring that


espn channel 34. yeah that was pretty


but there's also um you know we want to

talk about sports before we really kind

of like really pee over bowling being a


um there's an indian sport which is

basically a game of tag

which you play in a square which i think

it's like i'm going to guess this like

12 yards square

and you have to hold your breath but

keep repeating this phrase like

i don't know any phrase you can think of

like you can put everybody up

anywhere anyway like this and you

basically play tag in this square

but you have to hold your breath and

play tag and the last person wins and

that's actually an official

sport in india so it gets on the tv

so so why don't we have hopscotch

in the olympics well i don't know i mean

it's amazing how

well when that indian game of holding

your breath

tag gets in there then we'll maybe put

hopscotch in there

but anyway so um how old do you think

bowling is if you have to have a guest

oh gosh uh you're not 1972 it's before


yeah okay i'm i'm gonna guess

let's go with like 250 years

no no

no it's even before the common era ah

no kidding

and where do you think it originated

while you're guessing

okay okay so now you're you're telling

me it's

more than 2 000 years old when and where

when and where when did it uh let's go


uh egypt yeah

oh no kidding egypt yeah wow okay

because let's be honest

outside of building sphinx and pyramids

they have nothing better to do

so so they build

pyramids in the sphinx and bowling


okay so that makes sense yeah and the

aliens didn't bring bowling to us

okay uh so i'm gonna go with 4 000 years


no so like 52 000 bc no

5200 bc wow

is and that's when they actually found

the first dated

uh kind of stuff of it being a thing it

might have actually been a thing

before that but all you need to know is


people have been embarrassingly

underperforming bowling for

over 7 000 years well yeah yeah been

sucking up some of those

most people under perform when they bowl

anywhere right yeah

now um the roman empire got in the act

because you know the romans great a lot

of things

especially if you like listen to life

for brian watch the life of brian movie

sure give us the aqua dark sanitation

almost oh the world

yeah all this stuff so anyway um they

got in on the bowling thing about 2

000 years ago so they waited about 5 000

years after the egyptians invented it

right kind of thought let's see how it

catches on you know giving

5 000 years as you do um a bit

kind of similar to how microsoft spends

its time waiting to take on the latest

technology sure

so yeah yeah the romans kind of waited 5

000 years and so all right let's give it

a try

and that that was like historically

the whole bowling thing and then we had

to wait thousands of years before it

became a thing here in the western world

yeah so i could see the romans doing


because i mean they could be lazy with

some things

like you know hey strike rights yeah it

do we wait and figure out is this going

to be a thing

you know i mean they built coliseums and

everything but

you never go to rome and say hey

take me to the ancient bowling alley

you know get i've never heard of any


bowling alleys over there in rome right

well i actually think other than

overseeing the crucifixion of

our messiah that taking on bowling as a

pastime was probably the second worst


probably yeah um but uh

the germans as a whole

you know got into the act about 400 a.d

right okay so so we're still talking

about a long time ago

yeah yeah because when when you looked

at me with the germans i'm thinking

okay well they're they're going to


this they're they're going to put

everything barbarians through the

they're going to set the rules and i'm

going to say hey here's the way we do it


this is long before that okay well the

difference being that like

um when the egyptians did it and the

romans kind of caught on

five thousand years too late they still

did it as a little bit of a past

time right just like have a little bit

of fun past the time like we're not

building pyramids if we're not

invading countries and all this stuff


it was something you did after work it's

like okay hey

i spent all day putting this pyramid


yeah and i just need something to

kind of blow off some steam so i'm gonna

go bowling

no i'm not i'm not i'm not an expert but

i do think

some of the pyramids took longer than a

day to put together

well no i'm just i'm just saying you're

you're typical egyptian dude

and you don't you wake up in the morning


eat uh some terrible breakfast whatever

yeah locust there you go like you kiss

the wife and you say hey i'm going to


and now you're putting all these stones

together building a pyramid

and it you tell the wife hey

i'm not coming home tonight

until i go bowling with my other pyramid

building buddies

yeah and so he just went out and did

some bowling before he went home

i mean what's wrong with that for the

record there's not a lot of

hieroglyphics kind of

showing bowling well because the guys

that were going bowling didn't want to

tell them why

the secret yeah yeah they didn't want to

tell the wives

that they were going bowling they said

hey we're putting the pyramid together

and then after we do our work today we

have this

meeting that we have to go to after that

and talk about the work for the next day


i'll be home late tonight yeah and then

they actually went in bowled

so maybe that was kind of that first

hidden thing of

not having to go home and deal with the


yeah well apparently the germans managed


completely ruin it being a recreational


um you know but when you got a history

of starting two world wars i mean

probably the part before that isn't

going to be golden either but anyway

they used um

bowling as a religious ritual right oh

and they used it to cleanse themselves

from sin

now my thought when i first read that

right was the church

at the time uh must have done a

piss-poor job of communicating that

jesus is death on the cross atoned for

all sin

when somebody has to introduce bowling

to compete the atonement for your sins i


the blood of christ covers all but

you're gonna have to do a little bit of

bowling to cover up that yeah you know

stealing you did last there's there

there was definitely a pr

issue in here that that they were

dealing with

or you know so maybe the early bowling


that were trying to start said hey we've

we've got an opportunity

here let's just say that people have to

go roll a ball down this lane

and knock pins over now i think at the

time they were like

stone kind of like roundish rocks so

oh yeah i don't i don't even know if

they had holes you could put your

fingers in it it's just like rolling a

rock at something but it was cleansing

apparently so yeah

yeah well don't make it bad yeah i mean

yeah it's fine

now i don't know about you but anytime

i've been bowling

i've adapted the uh language of a

tourette's syndrome

sufferer yeah and uh i think i actually

create more

sin by the cussing and the drinking to

get rid of my poor performance and i


do any atonement of sins yeah but

i don't want to jump too far ahead

because i haven't

you know looked at our you know little

three by five note card here of our

notes here but you do realize

the connotation behind bowling is kind

of that

white trash sport but it is now didn't

used to be

oh he used to be a very very high up

sport no

kidding no poor people were like beaten

and imprisoned if they dared to do

bowling at

the right time okay because you know

in in the united states that that was

always kind of that

white trash sport but right before it

not so much is what you're telling me

yeah well

remember you don't have much history

here really well no

yeah what maybe three four hundred years

depending on

what propaganda you read um yeah

king edward the third right now

outside of being an absolutely brilliant


you know and political figure i mean he

really did more than probably any king

in history in england of achieving um

you know different variations of warfare

and actually putting together

you know political reforms actually


uh i guess you know the decisions king

was making in integrating royalty with

you know the political systems of the

day one of the things he was

most known for was he actually banned

bowling because it was a distraction to

archery practice

no yes that's that's his other legacy

why was he so against bowling

yeah but what was so good about archery

well i don't know beth who worked at the


i think he could have given her a free

pass it's like beth go play some bowling

because you're crap at archery mate you

don't need to be practicing that

we're not all good at yeah certain

sports but he gets a free pass because

like i said he was a military and

political genius so

but uh still in his legacy though he


you know kind of banned bowling yeah

and then there was uh king henry the

eighth who not known for his best

decisions because remember he got

married six times right yeah

well they wrote a song about him yeah

henry the eighth i am i

am yeah all that yeah um

you know he's not a great uh figure in

terms of divorce court

legends i suppose you know there's a lot

of misogyny going on for the reasons why

he divorced his wives

sure you know um well remember

she had like too many digits on her

hands yeah but

let's not judge him i mean we're not

here to judge

we don't know let's be honest and

maybe there were some issues that you or


if we were the king and we had those

problems maybe we would say yeah

we don't want anything to do with this

we need to get rid of it

because we'd rather go bowling does just

go to show though that even all these

many hundred years later that

even if you're fat and a bit obnoxious

if you've got a lot of money you can

still get married six times

yes yeah oh absolutely so anyway

that's proven time and time again so

anyway he was a

pretty avid bowler which you know if

you've got six wives or

you know obviously not at the same time

but you know he probably wanted to get


a little bit you know so um

i don't know how many bowling lanes were

available at the time but he actually

banned bowling for the lower classes for

the poor people

except for at christmas christmas

christmas that's the only time

the poor people the peasants were

allowed to go bowling can you imagine

being a peasant at christmas right okay

so this is my one time i can bowl yeah


i've got to stand in line i i

i just want a bowl

buying gifts for the kids not starving

to death

not dying of the black death or whatever

crap was going around at that time

oh i'll stick bowling at the list you

know i'm gonna stick all that stuff down

because i want to go bowling

so and bowling's got to be number one

because this is my

one time out of the year that i'm going

to be able to bowl

so i i know you're sick over there stop

coughing yeah put a mask on stay six

feet away from me

yeah and i'm gonna go bowling yeah happy

christmas kids daddy's going bowling no


got you anything because it still cost

me thrippance

or three copper pieces to go bowling and

which i could have used on your


gifts but i didn't because i want to go

bowling that's right because i only have

one time a year that i can do this yeah

so um

kind of proving further that the english

royal family

did a little bit too much in uh

in the early days right up until about

nine see it always

it always comes into the english oh see


y'all just it messed up the world well i


like i said i think until about 1950 or

1960 they did way too much in breeding

um but anyway king james the first he

banned bowling on sundays which

you know fair enough you know here in

texas we can't buy liquor on sunday so


that's fair enough but anyway he

permitted dancing

and archery on sundays as long as you

first attended church

oh because if you're an atheist

there's no archery there's no doubt so

so did you get

like a little card that they punched a

hole in saying hey

you attended church embrace that like i

call it string or something yeah yeah

yeah something that proved that you

actually went there

so they need to go dance and do awesome

you could dance you could do archery but

bowling no no no no no that's

bad so that's some yeah that's the

history of bowling in england

um and it actually took

you know given bowling was

literally 7 000 years or so old by this


till 1895 and it was i think in new york

uh the modern standardized rules of

bowling were introduced which means you

know obviously for the previous 7 000

years they were just making it up as

they went along

yeah well it's like playing monopoly

you know you bring people over it's like

oh okay well

free parking we're gonna put 500.

in here you get that and then all of the

community chest and chance you throw

that in the middle

you know so lots of house rules

basically yeah and now

all of a sudden somebody said hey we we

ought to make some

standardized rules here with this game

that we're

rolling a ball down and knocking stuff

over you know it had to do with when

betting came in right oh sure because

you know what

the the biggest way to get standardized

rules is to introduce betting where

people who are putting in the money

you know want a level playing field in

terms of how decisions oh yeah

you know yeah i mean if if you and i

right now said

we're gonna do rock paper scissors yeah

we're gonna have to make a rule that

says okay well if we're gonna put

money on this we're gonna have to say

rock paper scissors shoot

we can't just say rock paper scissors

and then

wait 10 seconds between whatever we

put out there so now all of a sudden we

got to set these rules up because

now gambling's involved yeah it's a

really bad example but i know what you


yeah um no that's a great now now coming

um you know towards the modern day

there's roughly about four and a half

thousand uh

bowling alleys in the united states but

going back to the mid 60s

there was actually about 11 000 and that

that's more actually to do with the cost

of running electricity and the price of

property and that

stuff but you know i kind of blamed wee

bowling personally when that came in

because like

it's like why am i going to go to a

bowling alley when i can suck at wee


yeah well

you can also look at the wee bowling


that came in that was

so much easier and everybody could do

that and you didn't have to

go rent the shoes you didn't have to go

to the bowling alley

and there's still that connotation of

the bowling alley that it's still

kind of trashy plus you had your own


well yeah if you were if you weren't so


that you didn't create that you just

didn't say oh okay well

here's whatever it is and then i just

your avatar was

your avatar was still that brunette and

a dress named jessica

exactly yeah yeah you could be

lazy with that yeah and but

still going back to that whole bowling

alley thing

here it it still just

had that kind of white trash yeah but i

think that

came later on because um

you know the in terms of the number of

people and like i wanted to get on the

figures with this that uh

you know there's their estimates and i

don't know how they do this

approximation but

you know there's 67 million people a

year in the united states

who bowl at least you know kind of like

once a year all right so one thing i

might do in january and be like yeah

that's terrible i'm not doing it again

until next year yeah but

but you're talking about 20

of yeah the u.s population yeah

but that's a that's a big chunk it is

but you take five-year-olds bowling you

know it's not the uh

same number of you'd attribute to like

taking part in full contact martial arts

you know right so

you know different because like you know

grandma can go bowling but

once you kick her in the face a few

times at the local dojo

you know that's uh yeah you know she's

not coming back next week

that's a good point yeah but um 1.3

million of them

actually compete in leagues including

our friend eric who

kind of swept that one and he was kind

of like oh i'm part of a bowling league

i've not asked him any further questions

since seen outside

yeah yeah that's kind of one of those

where like

i just don't know what to i just don't

know what to ask yeah that it's like oh

well uh nice good good

for you

congratulations yeah

i don't want to sponsor you with this

but uh can we come watch i don't

want to watch yeah

now funnily enough like that uh 1.3

million people registered in leagues

i did actually look you know on some

sites on the interwebs and they said

that there was

two million league players but you know

i'm kind of thinking that the secretary

of the national association

probably passed guests and encounter

days to retirement isn't necessarily

that [ __ ] about the numbers

yeah you know because what's gonna i

mean if it's like 1.3 or it's 1.7 i mean

nobody's losing out yeah

yeah they're too busy playing candy


and then they're not tracking yes and

i'm wondering why you know the grandkids


calling them as often as maybe they

should now bumpers

riders now okay well the thing is you

know i know i know

what this is we had this title right of

bumpers up

sucking it bowling you know about

bowling now bumpers were actually first

introduced here in texas

right no kidding dallas wow that's right

and this dude i think it was um i can't

remember the exact number it was jupiter

bowling alley or something so anyway he


invented bumpers and it was first like i

think a whole bunch of cardboard

it put you know to either side yeah and


it was because of sun uh

you know i think it was a toddler i

don't think he was like 26 or something

but anyway he kept crying because he was

getting frustrated because you know he's

throwing the ball down there and he kept


together yeah so anyway so he invented

uh he was the one who invented bumpers

and it stopped his

kid from crying out frustration and i

figured well all the times i've been to

a bowling alley i mean it's been working

the same way

with high school girls ever since it

stops them from crying out frustration

well i i do remember when i was a little


believe it or not i was in a bowling


i mean i i was you know a little kid

and my mom

ended up being the coach of our team

and it was me and two other girls

and so our little team was me and these

two girls and my

mom had her own bowling ball

and all this stuff and she

won the tournament of uh the coaches

and me and one of the

other girls won the

uh you know whatever you want to call it


the team thing and everything but

they had a handicap

and so they put handicaps on everybody

and based off the handicap

they actually gave the winning trophy

to another team because

me and this other girl won the


but that's the other girl because it

makes you sound like you're a girl just

me and this girl okay

fair enough but the other team

won the tournament and got the big


based off the handicap and my mom was


and i've never seen my mom

want to fight somebody physically

on that because she worked with us

trained with us showed us how to bowl

all that good

stuff and we actually lost that

and then we got out of the bowling

league let's say i i'm like

seven eight years old something like

that bowling

and it was just a fun game but my mom

honestly kind of took offense to it


all these other kids sucked at it my mom

taught us how to bowl really well and

the third girl on the team

literally and this was without bumpers

or anything else

she would bowl like a 12 right and

by the end of the season that girl was

bowling like a hundred

because my mom would show her how to

bowl and all this but the other kids

it wasn't doing anything and so that's


i just got away from bowling i'm like

yeah it's a white trash board

i just don't want to do this well i mean

i know your dad very well

and i can just imagine him sitting home

thinking yeah

one day my son's going to play in the

nfl and all of a sudden you're playing

with two girls and being coached by your

mama bowling

yeah but you know what there is that

yeah i mean bowling's a big industry i

mean it's actually a 10

billion dollar industry 10 billion


10 billion dollars yeah and that's like

austin powers type 10 billion

yeah i mean not just like right now elon

musk 10 million

money so um that only kind of supports

my view that

you know in the united states

masochistic tendencies kind of run deep

a little bit

and i think the germans probably got it

a little bit correct when they were

talking about using bowling as an act of

contrition because those

out of the 60 million people who do it

at least once a year

and you know regardless what numbers you

believe of about between 1.3 million and

2 million playing in leagues that leaves

65 million people who kind of do it

and think no i don't want to do it again


let's run a day let me ask you this

when's the last time you bowled

um probably about four years ago maybe

and how'd you do

crap well what walk us through the


all right yeah you know were you just

there with a couple of friends

i think i've got like a um possessed arm

that's all i can say because i will play

some games

and i can get like 160 170 points right


and blow everybody out of the water but

the next game for no reason whatsoever

i'll get like 70. and there's no rhyme

or reason for

it yeah but it but it's been four years

probably since you've been in a bowling

alley yeah i just haven't

you know been i guess motivated or had

the kind of reason to go and bowl yeah

but but so

why um why do you not want to go bowling


uh because i just don't really enjoy

sucking at something up badly

i guess because like i like to do things

where people kind of are in or

of me and bowling is not one of those

things i mean just like

i'm not going to go on american idol you

know i mean i'm pretty well

single no we all know you don't need to

go on america

with with your singing voice we know


i'm going america's got no talent but um

yeah american idol i don't want to go on

there if if you and i

right now stop this podcast and we ran

up to a bowling alley

and i said what are you gonna bowl

what do you think your score would be

well first of all there's a couple of

issues with that

i think the closest one is about 3.7

miles away in otago so if you and i

run there at the current condition we're

in it's gonna have been closed by two

hours by the time we get there so we're

gonna have to sit and wait until

now 11 a.m tomorrow morning until it

opens but no i would

i don't know but that's the thing i

could bowl like a fantastic score

and like completely destroy you then we

play the next two games and it's

and you'd fall apart yeah i just fell

apart it's got no consistency and

even wee bowling didn't help me i used

to play like um

with my girlfriend city i used to play

dozens of wee bowling games a night

and even though i wasn't actually

holding a heavy ball

i would still get that same pattern of

where the ball would just twist into

you know the kind of right you know yeah

go on together so

yeah the guys either side it's like

there was no rhyme or reason for it and

the exact

same pattern would play itself out in

wee bowling as it would in real life and

then i was just like

well what's the point i can save twelve

dollars and you know

yeah not not do it no it makes total

sense it's the same thing with wii


yeah to be honest yeah but not re-boxing

no oh i'll get it i can do one hand

yeah everything rabbit hole that's

it yeah you want to get rabbit hole we

kick boxing that's where i really come


it acts like a third arm

you know when you talk about you know

that you know bowling being a 10

billion dollar industry which i don't

believe but then again only clicks on

one link so who knows what's true right

um you know bowling balls depending on

the material they're made out of there's

like this hard resin

and this other stuff okay maybe they're

made out of clay and wrapped in

cellophane i don't know but um you know

if you go on

amazon it's anywhere between like about

forty dollars and three hundred dollars

just for a basic bowling ball wow

actually get it customized

there's some of those ones you know um


where it what they'll have like a you

know rose in the middle of it or you can


i mean really expensive i mean it can

run into thousands of dollars but

i think you have to be pretty good

before you like putting it out there

you're showing a ball with like you know

is it you're pretty good or you just


bowling not that much that you want

something that fancy

when you open your little bag that has

your bowling ball

and everybody looks at it like oh wow

that guy really likes bowling what kind

of a

statement would you be making if you

turned up at the bowling alley and you

pulled out of the bag

a bowling ball with a kind of almost


baby yoda frodo in the middle of that


you better be pretty good yeah we you

could go like

so many different directions you know it

it it honestly makes me

think about it you know when i keep

saying well

you know bowling was kind of that kind


white trash deal

and you talked about how bowling

has been around forever you know i i


when smoking

was for the higher-ups

when hunting was for the higher-ups

you know these were things that only the

rich people did

yeah you know smoking hunting

all that now it's looked at as this is

for the the lower people this is for the

white trash people it's kind of ironic

that you're talking about bowling's been

around for 7

000 years or 5 000 years or whatever it


and now i look at it as

one of those sports that yeah now

this is a white trash sport but it used

to be

something for the upper class

that was what everybody did horse riding

all that i mean you could make a laundry


of all these things that used to be

upper class

and is now relegated to the lower class

now you know one

big input on that which is probably

going to come in at about number two or

three if we ranked it

okay marrying your cousin because like

they truly used to be you know with the

upper class than that

it's like because they didn't want to

mix you know with the peasants and

you know infidels and all that stuff you

know harry marion used the story

cousin was like that's the way to go

because like

all right i know i can't stand your

stupid face and then we've been living

in the same house and actually sharing a

bedroom for blah blah blah but i'm

marrying you rather than kind of like uh

right gotta gotta keep the family lines


is that so yeah that's why the royal

family especially in england

um they are funny well they're all a bit


yeah they look funny and they all look

but that's why they're

all talking that way as well i think

they've got a uh mutated palette from

inbreeding yeah

but you talk funny too well yeah but um

if the royal family does want to sponsor

us we are not currently sponsored by any

royal family

my personal preference would be one of

the nordic royal families because they

seem to be a lot prettier and a lot more

level-headed but

well then they're being sponsored by the

royal family of england

if you're listening which is powerful


but then you look at uh who's the chick


uh mary you know one of the

princes over there uh the american chick

oh uh meg megan markel yeah me

megan markle

megan yeah type type e or f actress

with a yeah you know narcissistic

complex but mind you

like yeah she married uh prince harry

and like he wasn't the sharpest tall in

the box but honestly

yeah but yeah but they're all you know a

little bit slow

i mean they yeah they need some

uh tutoring to be able to graduate high


i i i get that but uh oh those

those were the ones remember um you got

mad because they stole one of our ideas

for a podcast

about a week oh they did yeah but they

launched their podcast

and they finished lower than a podcast

dedicated to whale sounds

yeah in the ocean yeah it crashed stuff

you it it it crashed stuff you prince

harry and meghan markle

yeah and hopefully it's prince harry i i

don't know

how many practices there are actually

rank actually ranked lower than us and

the podcast rankings in the world at the

moment so they can go get one

yeah yeah so good for them yeah or bad

for them

you know whichever way you want to look

at that but uh

yeah so um

do you think they go bowling now

i don't know they went bowling before to

be honest i think they're bowling now

i i think they're realizing you know hey


walked away from you know this british

monarchy thing

now we moved over to america and

now i think they're in a bowling league

and i honestly think

eric our buddy is one of the team


on their bowling league yeah i i think

that's where they're at i don't know if

he's going to bring their average up

or down to be honest but but you were

mentioning earlier about the whole kind

of smoking thing but

you know a lot of bowling alleys

especially the independents

um they still the majority of them will

do a full bar and allow

smoking right which you know for me i

kind of understand that although i don't

smoke but

you know i'm so bad at bowling i think

you know they may as well just sell

mushrooms and

yeah you know because like that probably

just helped my game just as much

well i always thought you know here i am

i'm playing this game i'm wearing rented


and i can't have food here i can't

have drinks here and now all of a sudden

you can't smoke here because i remember

like i said when i was a kid and and

doing the

the bowling league i mean everybody was

smoking in the

alleys or whatever but now you can't

smoke now you can't drink

it now you can't do all this stuff

around the

the bowling lane it's like well what's

the fun in this anymore

you know it everything gets torn away as

far as

what was fun with doing all this stuff

well i mean i think the last time i went

bowling was that like main event in

grapevine here in north texas yeah

and i think the advantage i actually had

because i think i actually did quite

well from what i can remember

is because the group i was in their

fingers were so covered in pizza grease

that they couldn't

fit you know they could their balls kind

of went a little bit ski whiff and i

think i

sure kind of won by default because of

pizza grease which you know isn't the

best post in the world but that i

figured i'd leave it at that

went out on a high note those

nine-year-olds didn't

see what was going on but but going back

to that it

you gotta love that that guy that

you know he's like 250 260

walking in there with his ball and his

bag he's like

i'm i'm a bowler he's an athlete i'm an


i'm a bowler i've got my i've got my


here in the bag i'm coming here i am

going to show

everybody in these lanes how

much of an athlete i am yeah and then

i'm gonna go

home to my trailer it's gonna be like


that is prime that i i

hate my life so much that it

the only thing i have to show for it is

when i come to a

bowling alley and maybe i can break 200

all right how terrible would that be to

live that way well i'll tell you what

one of the things i've never understood

and i don't know if you had to do it

right back from when you were

you know kid when your mum was coaching

but um

how what the majority of the bowling

alleys where you have to hand in your

own shoes

in exchange for getting the bowling

shoes plus paying money so it's not even

just like a

straight swap it's not like oh is my 90

under armour sneakers for these pair of

25 brand new on amazon shoes even

despite the fact that you know 90 other

people have worn them this month

it's not even a straight swap they ask

you to pay money to rent the shoes plus

you have to give in your own shoes now

how many times have you personally when

you've played bowling thinking

you know what i'm going to go out

pimping tonight i don't need the pair of

shoes i came to the bowling alley inn

i'm going to walk away with his bowling

shoes and uh yeah but

maybe if you look at it in a different


i could go to a thrift store and buy

a pair of shoes for two dollars you

could also paint your own shoes

yeah or walk in barefooted and

just say you know i don't have shoes and

come in there

so maybe they're kind of

throwing towards the that you know kind

of white trash thing that

maybe people are stealing shoes from us

because they don't have shoes so well

what would that

exchange well but but maybe

they need some collateral because there

were enough people that came in there


shoes on to say well i don't have shoes

to trade in on these

i'm going to rent the shoes and they

kept losing shoes

i don't know about that because the

bowling lanes like about eight

ten dollars nowadays they can get a

walmart and buy a couple of pairs of


and paint them they could go to the

section next to it where you buy them

but you know what maybe if i decide you

know what i'm in a bowl

i'm going to be a bowler i'm going to be

a professional bowler

but for some reason i'm not going to buy

my own polling shoes so

i'm going to show up to a bowling alley

and i'm gonna steal a pair of shoes

i could go to walmart and buy me a

nine dollar pair of shoes and in

your estimation bowling shoes are twenty

five dollars let's go with that

so so i've literally made sixteen


by doing that like and and maybe i do

that over and over again

now i'm supporting my family well it

reminds me of that it reminds me of

those really rich people who get caught

for shoplifting you know like a

yeah you know like four dollar sandwich

or something but um

the thrill of it yeah i think you came

up with the best example earlier

when you talked about when you have to

do that at the roller skating

place because like all right you go to

bowling alley all right you might have a


crap pair of shoes right you pay him

four dollars exchange and

those bowling shoes if they haven't been

worn by lepers and whatever

might actually be in better condition

than the shoes you already have right

or you might be high on meth and just

think it's a good idea anyway

but i can't ever imagine anybody turning

in their own shoes

at a bowling alley and walking away


yeah roller skates is the way to go yeah


of course in a roller rink you know it's


completely different thing i i

i've been in roller rinks before

you know i i used to do aggressive

inline skating and i still have my


sorry what's aggressive in line skiing


top roller derby no topic for a

different podcast

but i i will tell you this story and

we're going to close it out with this i

i've been

in a roller rink you know when my kids

went to

a birthday party or whatever and they're

getting their skates and everything and


brought my old aggressive inline skates

and the guy behind the counter will see

my skates

and literally try to buy my skates

off of me knowing what they're worth was

like sparkers did you have nails coming

outside of them

yes yeah yeah something like that that's

good so

so that's bowling in a nutshell yes i


we we solved all the problems as far as

you know when most of them were created

i think we did actually create more

problems with bowling and

we actually saw it's a simple spot

are we going to go bowling yes

should we go bowling we show so let's


well maybe we might even film it and put

it on our youtube yeah but let's set an

over and under if if we went bowling

right now

yeah what would you score uh in one game

10 frames

what if i said right now you

we're gonna go bowling what do you think

you could bowl

16 16 yeah

so i would say 17 so i win right

and with that being said thanks for

tuning in to this episode of the wolf

and the shepherd and we'll catch you on

the next one